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Should you not use your fav name due to fears of bullying in future?

(114 Posts)
KathyLou1981 Tue 26-Jan-16 19:46:49

Feels like I'm being weak. Some say it will make him individual and any bullying strengthens. Others that my vanity could cause future problems for child. So hard to know what to do?!

Floggingmolly Tue 26-Jan-16 19:50:30

No, it's not hard at all. Giving your child a ridiculous name because bullying is character forming so it doesn't matter; is an insane thing to do.
What is this individual God preserve us name anyway?

MidnightVelvetthe4th Tue 26-Jan-16 19:52:00

I wouldn't say that bullying strengthens a child!

Could you give him a middle name so he can revert to that if he wants?

What's the name?

ThroughThickAndThin01 Tue 26-Jan-16 19:53:27

What is it? It depends on the name.

It's very selfish to call your child a name you know he'll be bullied for. Why would you do that to your child? Bollocks to the character forming, he's the one to deal with it, no one else.

Fluffy24 Tue 26-Jan-16 19:55:08

What name???

scandichick Tue 26-Jan-16 19:55:31

I'd think about what your child would want: is the name likely to cause them any hassle (having to spell it out all the time, raised eyebrows à la Tinkerbell etc.)? If so, don't.

I have a perfectly normal name in my home country, but I don't live there anymore and have to spell it out, only for people to keep getting it wrong, every time I meet someone new. It's a major pain and I would have been fairly annoyed with my parents if it had been their intention all along. As it is, I try to be a good sport and not to mind my bloody colleagues stilll mispronouncing it after six years.

Don't make your child's life more difficult than it has to be, is all I'm saying.

If it's a normal name,like Trevor, only not universally popular, go for it!

secretly hoping it's about baby Nigel

JasperDamerel Tue 26-Jan-16 19:58:59

It depends. Unusual names don't seem to lead to bullying in my experience . The only child I know of who has been teased about their name is called Alice. So unless the name you thinking of is something like Stinky or Boobies or something which is very definition itself a girl's name, then I wouldn't really worry about bullying.

KathyLou1981 Tue 26-Jan-16 20:23:51

I don't want to share the name because everytime I mention someone says something negative and that puts me off more. I appreciate that makes the discussion a lot more boring for a lot of you.

I was wondering if anyone else had had experiences of regretting a name or taking a gamble a being pleased. You are all right it depends but interesting to hear other stories.

To be clear I don't think it's certain it will lead to bullying but could and I dont think that bullying strengthens a child - others have tried to console my doubts with this claim.

BYOSnowman Tue 26-Jan-16 20:26:49

If you are only getting negative comments it would suggest your child will too

But tell us what it is and I bet as many people here love it as hate it!!

Fluffy24 Tue 26-Jan-16 20:27:43

Surely if everyone says something negative (and nobody has anything positive to say) then it's better to know that now before you give the child that name?

I really don't think you should give a child a name you are frightened to mention on MN...

MidnightVelvetthe4th Tue 26-Jan-16 20:28:03

Give him the yoonique name as a middle name but just call him by it?

MyBigFatGreekYoghurt Tue 26-Jan-16 20:28:28

If you're getting nothing but negative comments then don't do it.

You're naming a human, who has no say in the name and then has to live with it through childhood. If you want to use a stupid name then change your own by deed poll.

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard Tue 26-Jan-16 20:30:11

I don't want to share the name because everytime I mention someone says something negative

Without knowing the name then all we have to go on is that comment and it speaks volumes I'm afraid.

More importantly than everyone else's opinions though, you're going to have a lifetime of responsibility to your child for whatever you name them, even if they change it later.

What positives can you say about the name?

Floggingmolly Tue 26-Jan-16 20:31:01

Don't "take a gamble", op hmm. Give your child a proper name.

magpie17 Tue 26-Jan-16 20:35:06

If you are reluctant to even say what it is because you are afraid of a negative reaction then I think you have your answer!

This is persons name, not an opportunity for you to be creative or a means by which to try and reflect a trend or whim of yours. Your child will be an individual because of their character and personality - let that be what defines them, rather than a silly name.

Swirlingasong Tue 26-Jan-16 20:36:20

If you are having doubts and the best people have come up with to quell them is that bullying can strengthen a child (it never does) then that should tell you something.

I don't think names cause bullying per se, but if a child is bullied then a name can give the bullies extra ammunition and believe me, it is a special kind of horror if you grow up not even being able to say your name without fear.

VoldysGoneMouldy Tue 26-Jan-16 20:37:19

If you're saying to yourself that bullying will make them stronger, then you really shouldn't do it.

What's the name?

titchy Tue 26-Jan-16 20:38:49

Of you won't even post on an anonymous website for fear of embarrassment how will you be able to introduce him in real life?

ThroughThickAndThin01 Tue 26-Jan-16 20:39:07

It's too difficult without knowing the name.

Shirley or Darthvader, who no one could sanction, is a bit different to names you could possibly justify Burt (I know a couple of Berties and its actually quite ok), Zebedee (Zeb is a very cool NN) etc.

You may get more warmth here than you anticipate OP, but it depends on the name.

OTheHugeManatee Tue 26-Jan-16 20:39:39

What's the flipping name already.

KathyLou1981 Tue 26-Jan-16 20:39:53

The comments aren't all negative but generally I suppose they are. So, yes, I do take your points and MyBigFatGreekYoghurt's comment did make me laugh!

duplodancer Tue 26-Jan-16 20:40:11

Bullying strengthens?????!
You don't have any kids yet do you?
Don't do it to yourself. Once you do have kids you'll spend your whole life trying to prevent bullying, not encourage it.
Jeez.

Fluffy24 Tue 26-Jan-16 20:41:19

Ooh OK - does that mean you can tell us now, the suspense is killing me!

Wolfiefan Tue 26-Jan-16 20:42:46

Don't give your child a ridiculous name and hope any bullying builds character?
confused

Quodlibet Tue 26-Jan-16 20:43:07

I dunno - I don't think an unusual name leads to bullying. It will just be an Achilles heel IF nasty children want to target your child anyway. If bullies want to bully they'll find something stupid to pick on.

I live in London so unusual names aren't really worth raising an eyebrow over though.

Saying that, I am eternally glad that my dad stopped my mum from calling me Fanny.

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