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Naming daughter same/similar name as family member

(24 Posts)
BeautifulStars93 Mon 23-Nov-15 21:24:55

I have a young cousin called Rose.
My middle name is Rose and I've always wanted too name my daughter it.
We like Primrose/Rosie but my aunt says she hates the idea of us using the same name.
I personally feel that nobody owns a name and there are lots of other Rosie's in the world.
I wanted too cal dd1 Rosie but my auntie got upset and luckily there was a name we liked just as much.
I'm now due dd3 and just don't like any names and deep down I would love a Rosie/Rosa/Primrose.

Do you think I'm being unreasonable?
Just too add my aunt/cousin live 2 hours away however my aunt is terminally ill.

SoWhite Mon 23-Nov-15 21:36:12

I wouldn't use it if your aunt has specifically expressed how unhappy you would be.

I also think it is rather egotistical to name your child after yourself, but to each their own.

There are plenty of names far lovelier than Rose out there!

MrsMichelRouxJr Mon 23-Nov-15 21:47:19

I disagree with SoWhite.

No one owns a name and you are entitled to call your daughter what you wish. This is particularly the case given that this is DD3 and you've already found alternative names for two previous daughters.

I'm confused about why your aunt has made a big deal out of it anyway. What on earth's the problem?!

In my opinion it's your aunt who's being unreasonable not you. Rose/Rosie etc is a beautiful name. Go for it!!

tellmeofthetime Mon 23-Nov-15 21:51:19

Rosemary ?? Then shorten it how you want

ThroughThickAndThin01 Mon 23-Nov-15 21:53:05

Rose was your name first! You have every right to use it as a name for your dd.

BeautifulStars93 Mon 23-Nov-15 21:58:16

I think it's the fact that she had her Rose through Ivf, she's extremely precious and she doesn't want her Rose too feel pushed out (not that that would ever happen)
& now that she is terminally ill my family don't want me too upset her. (My aunt means the world too me so I would never do this out of spite)

christinarossetti Mon 23-Nov-15 21:58:12

If deep down you want to use Rose or a variation of then you should. It's actually your middle name, so you have as much a 'claim' on it as anyone.

I would tell your aunt in advance, along the lines of 'I just haven't been able to get rid of the idea of giving one of my dd's my middle name, so we're pretty sure that's what we'll go for. I know you were upset about it before, but I hope that you can understand why this is important to me'.

It's sad that your aunt is terminally ill, but I'm not sure that that's relevant to your choice of name.

christinarossetti Mon 23-Nov-15 21:58:53

How old is your cousin?

Doilooklikeatourist Mon 23-Nov-15 22:01:28

My daughter has the same name as my Mum
I can't see the problem , choose the name you want

BeautifulStars93 Mon 23-Nov-15 22:02:24

She's still in primary school. Don't want too disclose exact age.

christinarossetti Mon 23-Nov-15 22:05:43

Ah, I see. There's no right or wrong here, only what you feel comfortable to live with. On one hand, your wishes around your dd3's name are as important as anyone else's wishes around their chosen name for their child, but I can totally see that your aunt having a terminal illness with such a young child makes this situation much more sensitive.

Sorry, I know I've just contradicted myself, but I didn't read you OP correctly and assumed that your cousin was an adult.

TrinityForce Mon 23-Nov-15 22:09:33

Nobody owns a name but I would let this one go.
flowers sorry about your aunt.

BeautifulStars93 Mon 23-Nov-15 22:10:13

I couldn't agree more.
It's as important to me to name my daughter a form of Rose as it was too her. (She actually just liked the name)
I was young when she had her daughter, had I of been older and told her It was a definite name for my if ever daughter I imagine she wouldn't have used it.

I'd hate too upset her but this baby is my daughter too and after all it's 'just a name'

christinarossetti Mon 23-Nov-15 22:15:03

I think you have your answer there, then. It is important to you - and has been for a long time, although you've put your wishes on the back burner with your other two daughters.

Maybe your aunt wouldn't be as upset if you used the name now, as her Rose is a bit older and it's not your first child 'pushing out' hers within the family?

DeepBlueLake Tue 24-Nov-15 03:57:06

I would use it, it's not the same name and nor is it an extremely unusual name.

And as awful as this sounds, your Aunt is not going to be around forever if she's terminally ill so there won't be years of resentment that you used a similar name or see your DD grow up.

PeasinPod1 Tue 24-Nov-15 10:13:19

I would 100% use it and think your Aunt is being precious, self obsessed and OTT.

LizKeen Tue 24-Nov-15 10:48:21

I would use it.

I had always liked my Grandad's name, and always thought I would use it if I had a boy. Back then it was still an old man's name, and then it shot up in popularity and now its very fashionable. My aunt (on the other side, so not related to my Grandad) had a boy and called him that name.

A year later I was pregnant with my first, and I mentioned to my mum that if my aunt hadn't used that name then that would be my first choice. I didn't say it in a shitty way, it was just part of a chat about baby names. The next day my aunt called me and said that if I wanted to use the name I should and that she wouldn't mind at all etc.

DC1 turned out to be a girl, and I used a female equivalent of the name instead. I am not sure that I would have used the boy version in the end, as I am very close to my aunt, and my DC1 and her child are close in age and it would have been a bit confusing if they were called the same.

But if she was 2 hours away and we rarely saw them I would for sure!

CelestiaLuna Tue 24-Nov-15 13:20:30

What about Rose as baby's mn?
Maybe your daughter won't like sharing a name with her cousin?
There are so many beautiful names out there that I wouldn't use it. Plus it's a bit 'tainted' now with all the bad feeling surrounding it.

SoniaShoe Tue 24-Nov-15 13:30:10

why not give it to her as a middle name? given all the circumstances and people you would upset, i would pick another name.

hawaiibaby Tue 24-Nov-15 21:50:44

I would 100% use it. you are not BU here, not at all. It's a shame your aunt feels that way - I can't understand it at all, she doesn't own the name and it's not crazily unusual - and of course it's a shame she is terminally ill; but it doesn't make it okay that you would be sacrificing your favourite name again which also means something to you. Just do it, really.

As an aside, since I was a child, I always said I'd name a daughter Rosie. DS1 would have been given this name had he been a girl, but now I'm pregnant again I've suddenly gone off it. I can't fathom why, but reading your thread has made me like it again, it is such a lovely name!

nooka Wed 25-Nov-15 03:44:59

I can't imagine that it would go down very well in the wider family to choose a name that you know would seriously upset your terminally ill aunt. It just seems a very unkind thing to do, regardless as to whether it's a name you love.

So I'd start by finding out if your aunt still feels the same way about the name. Now your cousin is much older she might not be so concerned, although personally I'd not be very happy if one of my children became 'big Rose' because a littler Rose had been born.

Alternately if you name your child Primrose and avoid a Rose/Rosie nickname for a few years the issue will probably resolve itself. Family will refer to your little one as Primrose and her dd as Rose and both will still be unique.

mathanxiety Wed 25-Nov-15 04:24:13

How about something like Annarose, Rosanna, Annarosa, Rosalba, Rosamund, Rosalind, Rosina, Roisin, Ella-Rose, Rosabelle, Rosalie, Mary-Rose...

Sunshine511 Wed 25-Nov-15 08:20:22

Personally, I don't think you should use it! I completely understand how frustrating this situation must be for you. I don't really agree with your Aunt's view point on this, however, she is terminally ill and I feel that to cause her upset about this and to cause friction in your relationship with her at this late stage in her life, would be a real shame. As a previous poster said, I think this name will now be somewhat tainted now.

As another poster said, you could possibly go with Primrose and avoid the use of Rose as a nn. This is definitely a less risky option. I hope this helps x

Redglitter Wed 25-Nov-15 08:27:32

I think you should go for what ever name you choose. It's nothing to do with your aunt. She doesn't have copyright to the name

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