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Let the young ones choose?!

(58 Posts)
twolittleboysonetiredmum Sun 01-Nov-15 09:02:44

Help needed as I'm in a bit of a quandary! Due dc3 in 5 weeks ish and it appears to be a girl. I've a couple of names I like:
Matilda Annie or rosalind
Husband also on board with those. Problem being that since 20wk scan both our other chn have decided that she will be called Sophie (they're 2 and 3) I don't hate Sophie but don't love it either. But everytime I suggest we call her something else they get bothered and say 'but she's called Sophie...' Wwyd?! Use the name even though you think it's a bit meh? Or ignore them?!

TillITookAnArrowToTheKnee Sun 01-Nov-15 09:10:33

Tricky.

DD1 has suggested the name Edith for the baby I'm having (we don't know the gender) and whilst I don't "love" it, it was the name of one of my Great Grandmas, whom I adored and was very close to and only died recently at the grand old age of 98! I've always referred to her as "Grandma Surname" so DD had no idea it was a family members name, nor do we know anyone called Edith. DD has mentioned it many times over the weeks.

Whilst its not a definite name, its on our Top 3 and DH really loves it, so its definitely a contender.

Bellejournee Sun 01-Nov-15 09:13:58

Is there any way you could use Sophie as a middle name if you're keen for your children to help make the baby? At 2/3 though, they'll soon get used to the baby's new/real name, so don't put too much pressure on yourself to please them!

Bellejournee Sun 01-Nov-15 09:14:23

Name the baby, not make!

KaraokeQueenOfTheNorth Sun 01-Nov-15 09:21:15

Fwiw I think Sophie is a gorgeous name smile if my son had been allowed to name his baby sister she would have been "Liz" - doesn't sound too bad til he explained it was short for "Lizard"...

Personally, I'd go with it. I think it is lovely to let the older children name their sibling, and lovely to tell baby about when she is older!

But that's just me. There would be nothing wrong with choosing a name you love and just explaining to your children that baby's name is Matilda, not Sophie.

shouldwestayorshouldwego Sun 01-Nov-15 09:25:40

I wouldn't. My sister named me and then proceeded to remind me of it all the time. We didn't get on particularly well as children which probably didn't help. My parents would also tell the tale of how she chose the name, whereas they had chosen her name.

I dropped the name in childhood, have legally changed it now too. Not just because of that but it was a factor. She seemed to feel it gave her some power over me.

You could comprise and use it as a middle name but I wouldn't use it as a first name unless it was clear to them that you already had planned to and it is a happy coincidence that they like it too (which did happen with ds).

VocationalGoat Sun 01-Nov-15 09:26:52

I love Rosalind.
Call me crazy, but I think you and DH should name the baby, not your DCs, unless you LOVE their suggestion. Take Sophie on board, but it doesn't have to be The Name of Choice.
2 and 3 is so, so, so little. Next month, they'll love the name Arabella! I think you're perhaps giving your tiny tots a whole lot of say on an important decision.

howabout Sun 01-Nov-15 09:31:01

I like your choices better. When I was growing up it was much nicer knowing my Mum and Dad chose my name and not my big brother. Feels like you are setting the youngest sibling up to be a second class citizen if the older ones get to decide.

MyNameIsSuz Sun 01-Nov-15 09:36:17

When I was a similar age my baby brother was born, we didn't know if he was going to be a boy or a girl but no problem, my older brother and I had a name that worked for either - Ethel. When he came home and was introduced as [regular boy name, definitely not Ethel], I remember being confused for a few minutes but I got over it! And we never once called him Ethel once he was here and named.

Long story short, don't call the baby Sophie if you prefer something else!

popperdoodles Sun 01-Nov-15 09:39:39

When my ds3 was born the other 2 were 6 and 4. All through the pregnancy they called baby a particular name and it grew on us to the point of not being able to imagine him being anything else. It felt natural to carry on calling him that. It's your call obviously, how long left?

GloriaHotcakes Sun 01-Nov-15 09:45:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

avocadoghost Sun 01-Nov-15 09:46:44

Sophie goes well with Matilda or Rosalind (both of which are lovely btw!) as a middle name so that would be a good compromise. At 2 and 3 are they old enough to understand if you explain that mummy and daddy get to pick the first name?

Or, you never know, something else might distract them by the time the baby is born and they might forget about it!

FelixCited1 Sun 01-Nov-15 09:47:08

My eldest chose the name for her sister. It was the name of her friend, Dh liked it and it went well with her name, so we went with it. I chose her middle name.

I also asked my parents "If the baby's a girl, can we call her Joanne? " I have no idea where I got the name from (I was 4) but they liked it and went with it.

It didn't give me power over her, and I haven't reminded her about it, in fact she reminds me or tells other people that I chose her name,

celtictoast Sun 01-Nov-15 10:02:53

Annabel Sophie, Annie for short.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Sun 01-Nov-15 10:06:43

My brother named me, he was 2.5. I've always loved that he named me, but then we got on well and he died young.

IoraRua Sun 01-Nov-15 10:06:52

Nope, choose your own name. 2 and 3 year olds won't remember all this anyway.

Blueberry234 Sun 01-Nov-15 10:16:07

God if I had done this my second would have been either called Pirate Yellow or Bernard.

I like Sophie though it is very pretty.

StetsonsAreCool Sun 01-Nov-15 10:35:39

My 5 yo named our son in similar circumstances. We had a couple of boys names on our shortlist (and girls, since we didn't know what we were having). All the way along, DD wanted a baby brother called Alfie or George. We preferred Hamish or Gabriel.

When he arrived he didn't look like either of our shortlisted names. We spent a couple of days trying names on him and the best one was one of DD's choices. It suits him perfectly.

Wait until the baby's here. If you can live with Sophie in principle, you never know what will happen when she arrives.

Ham69 Sun 01-Nov-15 10:42:01

I agree to use as middle name. It's good to have a story and special meaning behind a middle name. My DS wanted to name DD when he was 2. 6 years on he can't even remember and I've convinced him he helped chose her actual name!

BettyBi0 Sun 01-Nov-15 12:00:58

My siblings and I renamed our littlest sister as we thought our parent's choice was crap. It was tbh but that's not really the point as your choices sound lovely. We were older though (9,8 and 4) so much more persistent and less likely to forget than your little ones.

It has caused a few issues over her lifetime as everyone calls her this other name that we chose (which is quite a normal name) but it isn't even her middle name so she has to explain it over and over. Bit messy!

I'd go with your own choice but be clear from the start that they should call her x not y. Maybe get a toy called Sophie now so that that name is used up?

wigglesrock Sun 01-Nov-15 12:05:31

I'd go with the names you picked not your other children. They can call their own children/pets/toys names they like. I've 3 kids and although might have had a bit of a conversation with the older ones what their baby sister might be called, I didn't really take their suggestions under my notice unless I liked them myself, the same with my mum, mil etc.

reuset Sun 01-Nov-15 12:08:54

Use one of the names you and your partner chose. The children might have suggested a sensible name, but doesn't mean you have to use it.

fastdaytears Sun 01-Nov-15 12:11:45

My favourite story (and sorry if the family are on here) is the baby girl whose older sibling chose "Mr Chocolate" as her name. They didn't go with it sad.

Sophie would be a lovely middle name if you would like the older two involved. But don't feel bad if you don't want to use it in any way. Your choices are lovely.

MyNameIsSuz Sun 01-Nov-15 12:20:11

Haha fast, my ds (3) has ideas about our new baby's name too - he wanted Camper Van for a boy and Baby for a girl!

twolittleboysonetiredmum Sun 01-Nov-15 12:20:41

Thanks for the comments, some helpful perspectives. I am going to wait until she's born to decide as I can't until I've seen them. Great idea using it as a middle name - I do like the fact they've chosen it but not enough to use it everyday (unless she really looks like a Sophie, and then maybe...) smile

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