It's a boy!(26 Posts)
Well I've had the scan yesterday n found out I'm expecting a boy! But sadly I need to rant about the other half.. and help with a middle name! Basically we had both decided on a first name for a boy or girl... took ages of him sayin no to all my ideas and me saying no to his... He is traditional.. I HATE traditional names I like different or American kinda names.. so basically we both hate each others suggestions. Anyway the boys name we both like is felix :-) it's cute it's quirky without being too odd and ticks all the boxes for me... I suggested it months ago and he never commented.. a couple weeks ago he looked in the baby book it fell open on felix and he saw it was Latin for happy/lucky and then suggested it. I just said yes cos I thought you must not have been listening when I said it and I frankly I don't care it's a name I like!! Plus I thought it would put a stop to the snidey comments about how it doesn't matter what he suggests cos it always seem to be whatever I want anyway etc etc.
So anyway now comes the hard part of finding a middle name, I like middle names my son has a middle name and I chose a name I liked not a family members name as no offence to them but I don't like any of the names and I wanted to pick something I liked. I was given my nans name as my middle name and was teased for it and I hate it so it's Prob why I didn't want to with him and I've always said to my other half I don't do family names as I usually don't like them and he said he agreed as his parents split up n re married n frankly it would cause arguments. So we were talking about middle names and again we are back to everything I say he hates n everything he says I hate. .. He's coming out with Peter or Steven etc and they don't sound right!!! And I keep saying to him you can't have a traditional name like Peter after felix cos it doesn't flow it's needs to be a little different but he won't have it... He was suggesting some just now and I said no cos once again their names he knows I hate and I suggested one and he bloody bit my head off!!! Said oh let's have everything you choose blah blah... but he thinks he chose the first name all by himself so I dunno how he's come to this realisation lol!! He then goes I'd like to name him John after my grandad... John doesn't go plus we had already decided no family names!!! It causes arguments.
I'm literally pulling my hair out!!!! Sorry for the long rant but needed to get it off my chest!!! Anyway any ideas for a middle name for felix?
You wanted Felix and you got it, so let him have the middle name.
It doesnt matter if it doesnt "go" because the only time it is ever said is a) at a baptism or b) when he is 14 and you shout "FELIX JOHN FAWKES!!! IF YOU DONT GET DOWN THESE STAIRS RIGHT NOW YOU ARE GROUNDED FOR A WEEK!"
You will be co parenting for a the next 18+ years. Let this one go. Let him choose the middle name.
I get where you're coming from. You both like names from completely different ponds, so it is hard to match your tastes. However Is it vital your ds has a mn. If so will try with some suggestions,
I do also agree Felix Jon. Felix Peter flow beautiful.
I like Felix John.
Felix Oliver? Felix Blue? (Odd, but I like it!)
I agree, you got Felix so maybe you need to let him choose the middle name. Felix John is a great name!
Middle names are completely irrelevant for the vast majority of people. They simply never use them. So it doesn't matter whether it "flows" or "goes" or anything else. Pick either one you love or use a family name. You said you didn't want family names so go with the former. If you're happy with the first name but can't agree on the Middle name you can either go down the route of telling him he picked the first name so you want to pick the middle name (which isn't really the case), or you can compromise somehow on a name you both agree with. Felix is lovely BTW and John is as good as any name with it!
Lol I know I won but he thinks he chose the first name.
Thing is my grandad died recently and his name was Jim. .. John his grandad had a stroke but is alive and well and I can see it causing arguments in the family as my side would be like we'll why aren't you honouring your grandad? And then his dad who has lost his dad years ago when we first got together will be annoyed that we aren't honouring that grandad... Does that make sense? Plus I have middle names I like for other names say if we have a girl in the future I don't want it to turn into I have to have a family name cos it's gonna upset someone as there's 3 different family's plus my first born son doesn't have a family name and I don't think it's fair on him to be left out he's already upset he won't have the same surname.
I don't mind Peter so much as it's started to grow on, he said because of Peter pan which we do both love and it was his childhood disney film... I'm disney mad so I don't mind but he's also well known by everyone to be a huge huge huge family guy fan and part of me is like 'Euurrgghh everyone's gonna say oh as in Peter Griffin? ' no..
I suggested these ones:
There where some others but I forgot lol! The surname is Crane if that helps at all? Xxx
part of me is like 'Euurrgghh everyone's gonna say oh as in Peter Griffin? ' no..
You are definitely over thinking that.
Tbh, I think John goes with Felix far better than any of your suggestions, and if anyone asks say that you chose it because it went well with Felix, not for any family reason.
It does seem that you are determined to get your own way though.....
Let him choose. It isn't worth the drama.
Why not suggest Jay? Jay could be J for John and J for James/Jim
Felix John and Felix Peter are nice. I'd let him choose the mn.
I too prefer you Oh's choices and think they sound better with Felix. sorry.
Hahaha I think I am determined to get my own way tbh... I know what our family's are like and I know it will cause problems. Lol I do over think things I must admit! I've also herd alot of my friends who let the partner pick the middle name constantly saying they hate it and I don't wanna spend the rest of my life hating it's middle name. Normally tbh I let him choose everything and let him decide everything so maybe that's why I can't let it go.... need a chill pill I think!!!!
I do like some of your suggestions tho anymore? Helps us alot xxx
Lol I know I won but he thinks he chose the first name.
That's the best way if you disagree on a lot of things. (Not just in relationships... I use this at work, with family etc.) Plant the seed for what you want... let the seed grow... person comes back to you with "their" idea.
(Obviously not when it comes to new ideas you should be getting credit for – but for getting your own way it's very effective)
Lol sylvaniancaracal that's what I usually do too, if he thinks it's his idea he likes it so I haven't said anything to him just let him think he chose the name. He's a very traditional typical man and wanted a son first and I think he wants to choose all his name cos it's a boy kinda thing?? With the girl name I suggested one and he just said yeah lol!
Loving the suggestions tho gives me some inspiration and ideas! I did like cody as well and teddy as a middle name x
He has effectively decided on what he'd like the first name to be, just so happens that you agree with it and would have picked it anyway. However, HE HAS DECIDED IT IS TO BE FELIX so you should get to pick the middle name.
Could you not wait until after the birth to finalise a middle name and once he has had a reminder of what you go through to actually give birth to the child in question, that is when I personally would state calmly and decisively what the middle name IS going to be.
Any argument on his part would be met with, a stern....
"Did you just go through what I did ?"....
" No ?"....
" And you decided on the first name ?"...
" You can't seriously then expect me to not have the final choice of middle name."
"It is not up for discussion, now let me get some rest because I'm exhausted".
Stay non committal over any middle name he suggests between now and the birth and then play your hand post birth.
Felix John flows nicely, it isn't going to harm anyone by naming him after a beloved grandad.
Wow....lying, manipulation, using the birth experience.. all in the name of getting ones own way?!
God forbid you should just discuss it until you come up with a name you both like, as you did with the first name. No, that would be what mature adults in a loving marriage would do, so lets not do that!
Honestly I think the more traditional names sound better with Felix.
Felix John, Felix Peter, Felix James.
bogey face - how is what lappy suggested some kind of manipulative bitch thing to do? It's a perfectly valid point.
It seems like both the OP and her partner are being very stubborn, but frankly, between the two of them who is the one actually doing all the work, putting up with all the shit things about being pregnant including child birth? I don't see how constantly suggesting things that the OP has already said she is specifically against, and then getting snappy about her not liking them (no shit) is a decent thing to do.
I personally think her DP sounds like he is being a bit of a controlling dick. Presumably the kid is getting his LAST name as well.
Or should the OP just shut up and be a good little mindless baby incubator and let the MAN get to choose the names of HIS son?
I admit my suggestion was a bit manipulative, but not in a nasty way. The person is happy and doesn't feel controlled, you just mention something and they "think of it" later. Happens all the time.
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