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Am I being too restrictive?

(14 Posts)
tindel Fri 05-Jun-15 12:24:49

As I'm 23 weeks, DH and I think we should probably start thinking about names. This is our first and we chose not to find out boy or girl.

To help narrow our thinking, I came up with a few rules of names to avoid, which DH has said he's ok with:

- No family names to avoid bickering
- No names with the same first letter as DH's surname to avoid alliteration
- No names with the same first letter as either mine or DH's first names because I had a childhood of two family members constantly opening each other's post and it drove them both mad
- No names beginning with L or an L sound as baby's cousins ALL have those names, i.e. Laura, Elliott etc. and I'd like to be a bit different.

I've mentioned this to a few people and they've said I'm making it really hard on myself by ruling out so many options. What do you all think? We are struggling to come up with names we like, but that's partly because we don't know what we're having and partly because we haven't found anything we've really loved and most of them are just ok.

Did / have you come up with similar rules when choosing names? Did it help or make it harder? Did you even stick to them in the end?

SavoyCabbage Fri 05-Jun-15 12:27:16

I had the same initial letter as my dad and I don't think we ever opened each other's post or had any other sort of confusion.

Actual letters are fairly rare nowadays anyway.

MrsRSharpe Fri 05-Jun-15 12:28:38

It's not restrictive, but I'd say if you start with the rules and then try and find names that work, you might get stuck.

How about making a big list of all the names you do like, and then going through and seeing if any of them struggle with the rules?

They're not odd rules though. The sound of the names together is important and all that.

TheVeryHungryPreggo Fri 05-Jun-15 12:28:54

I wouldn't worry about it.

Chances are when you hit on the right name, it will break one or more of your rules and you won't care. That's how you'll know!

Andcake Fri 05-Jun-15 12:32:12

You'll end up breaking your rules. We just started by making lists of boys and girls names we liked as they popped into our heads then would occasionally discuss. Each had a right of veto and by 39 weeks we had it sorted.
It's so lovely not knowing the sex grin

MrsHathaway Fri 05-Jun-15 12:45:23

I've seen far more restrictive rules than that, don't worry.

The family names rule is a good one IMHO and one we've followed, although only for first names - my DC all have family middle names.

Someone I know has a very restrictive rule that the name must be available on a car number plate. They own the plates for the children (equivalent to MN55 SUE, MN04 BEN and MN12 JOE). That rule really made life difficult in combination with the other rules which would have ruled out Sue, Ben or Joe. But I so love seeing her drive past with one of the children's names on the car.

manicinsomniac Fri 05-Jun-15 12:49:12

It's not that restrictive.

Can you give an idea of the names you like and the letters that are out?

CakeRattleandRoll Fri 05-Jun-15 13:08:33

I don't think your rules are restrictive. What is most important is that you and your DH both like the same sort of names - if so, you'll still have plenty to choose from, even with your rules. If you don't like the same sort of names, your rules may make a hard job even harder.

DoloresLandingham Fri 05-Jun-15 13:19:15

No, not too restrictive, but if a chorus of 'we told you so' would irritate you then stop telling friends and family your rules. As PP have noted there is every possibility that you will end up breaking one or more when you find the right name!

diddl Fri 05-Jun-15 13:44:15

I think that it may depend on the letters!

Some alliteration can be OK.

men's names

women's names

Just a few examples!

tindel Fri 05-Jun-15 14:02:37

Letters I've ruled out and A and C (our names) and R as DH's surname, as well as L and L sounds. To be honest, the only truly fixed one is R as we really don't like the way it sounds as an alliteration. There is already a family member with the initials RR and I just don't think it flows nicely at all.

I've come up with a vague shortlist, but none of them have been THE ONE that I really like. DH has is really struggling to come up with his own suggestions and any conversations we've had so far have degenerated into sniggering at names we both hate and coming up with geeky references for names instead. not sure we're mature enough to be having this baby

The reason I've mentioned it to a (very) few people is because we are being asked a lot about names (particularly by parents) and we don't want to discuss it with anyone, so this was my compromise. The plan is to decide the name between the two of us and present it as our final decision after the baby arrives. MIL has already stated her opinions quite forcefully and told us how much she STILL doesn't like the name of at least one of her grandchildren (poor sod's 6 now) and she told both parents how much she didn't like it at the time when they were only considering it.

bakingtins Fri 05-Jun-15 14:10:15

I don't think they are too restrictive. If DH is struggling for ideas, try the website 'named together'. You each pick any names you'd consider from the top 100/200/500, and it comes up with a shortlist of names you both like.

ragged Fri 05-Jun-15 14:36:12

I'd make a list of names I liked & then see which ones didn't break too many rules. The long list of rules thing sounds really tedious.

reuset Sat 06-Jun-15 01:50:05

We all have our foibles!

Seriously, I like the thought that goes into such lists and rules. Those whose only criteria is that it must 'go' with sibling A, B and C, and want middle names thrown out to go with name 'A' I do not understand. My main criteria is that the names must have meaning, connection orsignificance to the parents. Choosing just 'cos we liked it shock

Anyway that sort of detail would only be the last stage of narrowing down a long list I'm guessing...possibly It need not be restrictive or binding, and there will always be exceptions <states obvious>

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