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In which yes, you would or did say something to the parents

(18 Posts)
drspouse Fri 22-May-15 20:52:44

Now generally people say "don't tell the parents you don't like or can see unfortunate associations of a name, it's not your business" but would you in some circumstances?

A friend who has no DCs herself but was very hands on with her two DNs had a colleague expecting BG DTs. They stated their intention of calling them Charlie and Lola. As first time parents they'd never heard of the books. She enlightened them and they said "oops" and rethought the names.

MrsNextDoor Sat 23-May-15 00:40:49

I'd say something if the name meant an obviously offensive thing...or if it was the title of a series of books....but not otherwise. A friend told me she was calling her DD Persephone and I was hmm because the rape of her by Hades isn't a nice story...but she knew all about the story and didn't care!

BackforGood Sat 23-May-15 00:59:20

Depends how well you know them / get on with them / are able to be honest with them on a general basis.
Also depends if they were telling you that's what they'd decided or if they were throwing several names around to gather other people's opinions.

I think I would automatically say "Oh, like the book / TV character/ film / whatever ?" if there was an obvious link that popped straight into my mind - wouldn't think that it was a criticism of the name(s).

MamaLazarou Sun 24-May-15 10:53:21

When I was 18, my aunt was pregnant and told us she liked the name Patrick for a boy. For some reason, I objected to this and so I pretended my new kitten was called Patrick (his real name was Jonathan) in order to prevent her from using the name. She had a girl anyway!

I also begged my sister not to name my niece Hazel as it was the name of my arch-nemesis.

Marcipex Sun 24-May-15 14:07:24

I'm afraid I stared open-mouthed at the proud parents of Haze. I managed not to say what I thought though.

retrocutie Sun 24-May-15 14:10:52

If it's a really bland, boring name, I will always say something. I don't know why as I'm not usually outspoken. I have been known to say, "oh, how pedestrian" as the mention of someone's intended name.

If the child was already born and named, I wouldn't say anything though.

Allstoppedup Sun 24-May-15 14:16:01


I wonder if I know you in rl?

It's spelt Hayes winkgrin

Marcipex Sun 24-May-15 14:38:45

Allstoppedup , it was actually Haze. 'To go with Breeze.' (His cousin)

Allstoppedup Sun 24-May-15 15:19:43

Ahh...that's quite the combination!

A lot of people think DS is a 'Haze'.

Its obviously not to everyone's tastes and we've had a few hmm reactions! grin

Marcipex Sun 24-May-15 15:24:33

nice name, Allstoppedup. I agree it seems quite different when spelt Hayes.

BarryGoosey Mon 25-May-15 22:38:30

There were twins on the postnatal ward when I was in hospital called Orion and Indiana...surname Jones. I overheard the mums telling visitors that when she had told one of the nurses that one of them was called Indiana Jones that the nurse told her she had once had a Winston Churchill and a Michael Jackson but the mother was baffled as to why she was telling her so I don't think she got the connection. If I were her friend or a family member I would have said something.

BarryGoosey Mon 25-May-15 22:40:09

(That should read once had patients called Winston Churchill and Michael Jackson)

reuset Mon 25-May-15 22:45:42

Only a bad spelling or something offensive.

I know of somebody who had to have it pointed out that Coco Poppy might not be the best name combination (I didn't do the pointing out grin ). They reversed the names in the end.

VixxFace Mon 25-May-15 22:49:17

My friend is due a boy and her do wants him to have a name that's basically similar to lenny lenard or Louie Lewis or harry Harris.

I have told her it sounds ridiculous and she agrees but she named the first one. sad

VixxFace Mon 25-May-15 22:50:52


Devora Mon 25-May-15 22:56:10

It depends if you telling them might actually be useful to them. I loved the name Dora (still do) and was keen to use it for dd1. I had picked it up from reading Freud (ooh, get me) and had no idea about the children's character. A couple of friends kindly put me in the picture. I tried arguing it but they insisted, "Just don't. She won't thank you for it later". I took that advice, and think it was probably for the best.

Allthatnonsense Mon 25-May-15 23:26:46

You can point out an association without the implicit negativity.

AlmaMartyr Mon 25-May-15 23:52:23

I would never say anything just because I didn't like it, and I probably wouldn't mention a character/backstory unless they clearly did not know and it could be an issue (like Indiana Jones for example).

A friend did announce their little boy's name and it was fairly popular slang for something quite unfortunate. It was obvious that they didn't realise. I was agonising over the best way to let tired, emotional parents of a newborn know when they announced a change - someone else had told them (not very kindly either sad )

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