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Sister has used my baby name

(203 Posts)
Giraffe2706 Fri 22-May-15 12:53:18

I know nobody owns a name but this was my absolute favourite boys name and I was going to call my baby due in 4 weeks this name.

We're not the closet of sisters and don't see each other often (she's a lot younger than me and we didn't grow up together) but being pregnant at the same time everytime we did see each other we would talk baby talk and she definitely knew this was my favourite baby name and I was planning on using it for my ds.

She gave birth yesterday to a lovely little boy and this morning she did a facebook announcement introducing 'Dylan James' DJ for short.... I'm really upset and shocked that she would do this, why why why?

Justusemyname Fri 22-May-15 12:56:04

Because she can. Because she wanted too. Because she didn't see why not. Who knows?

If you love the name why not still use it? No law that cousins can have the same name.

CorBlimeyTrousers Fri 22-May-15 12:56:47

Perhaps because it's her favourite name too? Perhaps because they're going to use DJ so she thought your son could still be called Dylan too?

I'm sorry you're upset, but you're right that nobody owns a name.

I hope you can find another name you love just as much. Or go ahead and call your son Dylan too because his cousin will be known as DJ.

500Decibels Fri 22-May-15 12:59:13

Why don't you ask her? I'd actually be really upset if my sister this to me.

wesH Fri 22-May-15 13:00:58

I can understand your anger, but try to think of it as a blessing in disguise. Dylan is an awful name.

badg3r Fri 22-May-15 13:02:53

Is your boy going to be called Dylan or Dylan James? Would you can him DJ? Or Dylan? If it was done intentionally it is not very sensitive of your sister, but there will be hundreds of Dylan's born between now and when your boy arrives. So what if one of them is your
sister? She already knows you have planned to call your boy that, if you want to then I don't see why there is any reason not to.

CultureSucksDownWords Fri 22-May-15 13:03:11

If you're not that close and don't see each other often then use the name you like! It's not the end of the world if they have the same name.

Giraffe2706 Fri 22-May-15 13:05:45

Really?? Even after she knew I was going to call my baby Dylan.. The name wasn't on a 'maybe' list with a few others that we had vaguely discussed, she knew I was using Dylan! And last time I saw her at her baby shower about 5 weeks ago she was saying that Max was likely gonna be the name for her baby, she's never ever said she had Dylan as a possibility
But ok, I didn't own the name and nothing I can do about it now

CultureSucksDownWords Fri 22-May-15 13:11:29

But what can you do about it? Presumably you can't force her to change it, and if you did it would only lead to resentment and conflict.

So, either choose a different name, or stick with Dylan and try not to worry about there being another child with the same name.

doublepotions Fri 22-May-15 13:15:09

That would really annoy me, its so petty and selfish, but I would choose a different name or everyone will think that you copied her.

NerrSnerr Fri 22-May-15 13:15:59

I have the same name as my cousin (and it is quite a rare name) and it has had no impact on my life whatsoever. If you still like the name then use it.

kelda Fri 22-May-15 13:17:33

Yanbu but please don't call him Dylan. It won't be nice for the grandparents to have two grandsons born within weeks of each other with the same names.

What about David Joshua? Lovely name.

chippednailvarnish Fri 22-May-15 13:19:45

It won't be nice for the grandparents to have two grandsons born within weeks of each other with the same names

That's not the OP's fault or problem. I don't personally like Dylan, it just reminds me of the magic roundabout.

Giraffe2706 Fri 22-May-15 13:20:04

I wouldn't force her to change it, I'm not even gonna mention it, she knew I was gonna call my baby Dylan so she obviously doesn't care about my feelings. I'm also not gonna use the name, I'd rather my son has his own name and not one that a family member has already

Blazing88 Fri 22-May-15 13:21:32

Would it help you to know that Dylan is a 'naughty' name?! grin

I think it's out of order personally, but I know I'm in the minority. She could have picked any of a million other names.

Agree with kelda..would be weird for your own parents to have two grandchildren with the same name I think.

Matthew? Simon? Jonathan? Jacob? Loads of much much nicer boy's names out there.

kelda Fri 22-May-15 13:21:48

Well done Giraffe, you are keeping the upper hand. You don't want him being called Dylan2 by family members.

What other names are you interested in?

BeaufortBelle Fri 22-May-15 13:22:06

I can't see a logical reason why you can't still call your son Dylan James and probably neither can she.

We called our son Louis (not his real name) in 1994. By best friend had her son in 1996 and called him Frederick because Louis was her favourite but we had already used it. Had she called her son Louis I'd have been delighted at her good taste and felt upset she felt she couldn't use her favourite name and said so.

DinosaursRoar Fri 22-May-15 13:26:45

That's actually a horrible thing to do, esp as she knew it was the name you would be using - if she felt it was the only one she could use too, she could at least mention it to you before the announcement.

Pick something else, do you want suggestions?

MrsPeabody Fri 22-May-15 13:28:58

I would be really upset.

Think you have been saved though as there are far more beautiful names out there.

I think pregnancy hormones can play a part is 'stealing' names. I would rather think that, than nastiness.

CultureSucksDownWords Fri 22-May-15 13:28:58

I agree that it is a crappy thing for her sister to have done, but it's been announced and is not likely to change.

I think in the same situation I would stick with my chosen name, because for the vast majority of the time the fact there is a cousin with the same name won't have any impact on you.

minijoeyjojo Fri 22-May-15 13:31:25

I also think it's a horrible thing to do and would never dream of doing anything like that to anyone I know. Whilst I know you don't have rights over the name, she knew full well that you were intending to call your son that, so the least she could have done would be to talk to you about it first.

Can we help with other name suggestions?

WankerDeAsalWipe Fri 22-May-15 13:32:31

Yes, retain the moral high ground and pick another name - there are some lovely names out there and you may find one you like better.

How about:


or do you have any other thoughts on style/vibe?

OatTeaTea Fri 22-May-15 13:32:49

I used a name already used by a sibling.

Since my child and my sibling have still not met I think I made the right call!

To wider family they are "Oat's Pete" and "Sibling's Pete" on the rare occasion we need clarification.

HuftysTrain Fri 22-May-15 13:33:11

Oh ffs, can't believe the posts on here. In the real world by normal person would be upset and shocked by this. I sometimes think people on here just lie to wind up the OP.

Yanbu and of course it's bloody weird for your sister to have done that when you had confided your chosen name in her. I'd be furious and heartbroken.

DefinedByMyMagic Fri 22-May-15 13:33:55

I know no one owns a name but that's off of her if you had definitely told her that that was what you were calling your son.

I'd be inclined to wind her up a bit by texting her and say how funny, two cousins with exactly the same name!

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