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Should I try and change DH mind, and if so how??

(25 Posts)
Maki79 Tue 11-Nov-14 13:38:24

So we have a tricky last name, it rules out loads of boys names.

We also feel that a single syllable name would be best in order to have the right rythym with my dd and ds and then our last name.

The added complexity is that we want a name that reflects us. I'm Engligh, Dh Irish. Our dd's name is Ayla and our ds's name is Lawrence.

The ONLY name I feel I really LOVE is Taidgh. Now Dh says we cannot have it because it misrepresents his background (he is from the Republic but was 'born' a protestant and so for as long as he knows all of his family have had anglican names (Jennifer, Sarah, Roger etc etc).

I love the fact that Taidgh is an Irish name, Ireland is part of Ayla and Lawrence's culture, we go there lots, we have many friends and indeed relations (although not blood) with Gaelic names, and they are beautiful names!

Do you think I should try and persuade dh that his anglican background shouldn't be a factor (he is an atheist) or should I drop this?

I'm really interested to hear from Irish people, woud you be offended if a half Irish(non-Catholic)/half English child had a Gaelic name?

Thanks!!

OhMjh Tue 11-Nov-14 13:44:10

How do you pronounce that?

You could try, but your OH sounds like he has a pretty solid reason why it's a no-no for him. It probably wouldn't be an issue for anyone else but it seems like it most definitely is for him - is he very proud of his heritage?

Sophronia Tue 11-Nov-14 14:00:08

I wouldn't use it. Half of my family are from Northern Ireland from a Protestant background, and I'm atheist but still wouldn't use any Gaelic names. Plus Taig is an derogatory term for an Irish Catholic.

squoosh Tue 11-Nov-14 14:04:07

To me Tadhg is a bit 'Hello World, I'm not Irish but I really want you to know that I have Irish heritage', it's a bit stage Irish. Also the term 'tadhg' is used in NI as a pejorative term for a Catholic. So I kind of understand his lack of enthusiasm for this particular name.

I don't agree however with his dismissing all Irish names and do think his saying that they misrepresent his background is a bit outmoded, he's as Irish as any Irish Catholic and Irish names are of course part of his heritage. I don't really understand the 'these names belong to us and those names belong to you' style of thinking, all Irish people's heritages are intermingled whether they're Catholic or Anglican.

babyblabber Tue 11-Nov-14 14:34:25

I'm irish (Catholic from Republic) & never knew Tadhg was anything other than a lovely irish name til reading the comments above. I certainly wouldn't be offended by it but maybe I would if I was from the north. It's irish for Hugh I think, would that work? Lawrence is a very Anglican name I think so hugh would match.

He seems to have fairly solid reasons for not liking it so I wouldn't try to change his mind. Are there any other irish names you could try? Sean, Senan, Cillian, etc?

And if you do get your way spell it Tadhg, no "I" in it!!!!

babyblabber Tue 11-Nov-14 14:35:31

Or is Aodh Irish for Hugh actually?!!!!

squoosh Tue 11-Nov-14 14:45:30

I don't think Tadhg is Irish for anything, it's a stand alone name. Although I seem to remember in Irish College guys called Tom having to rename themselves Tadhg for the three weeks.

makingdoo Tue 11-Nov-14 14:48:10

I'm Irish (NI Catholic). I think your DH has a solid reason and I wouldn't push it. I don't know anyone with that name. I'm thinking I'd pronounce it Tag as opposed to Teague

squoosh Tue 11-Nov-14 14:50:22

I've only ever heard it pronounced as thigh with a hard g tacked on the end, thigh-g.

twinjocks Tue 11-Nov-14 16:57:45

I'm from the same background as your husband, and I would respect his opinion. (Also, just can't bear the name Tadhg!)

Castlemilk Tue 11-Nov-14 19:49:27

Have to say, it couldn't fit LESS with your other DC names!

Not massively keen.

Kundry Tue 11-Nov-14 19:54:25

Be prepared for everyone to ask how to pronounce it and how to spell it. He will have a lifetime of random pronunciations ahead of him.

I'd agree with your husband - if he is Irish Protestant the name doesn't come from his culture at all.

nowitscleanugobshite Tue 11-Nov-14 20:10:26

I agree with your husband too. For right or wrong, names in Ireland (and NI) take on connotations that maybe aren't quite understood if it's not how you've grown up-they are "labels" that make a statement about the owner. It's sad in many ways-and things are changing but this is a name that isn't a comfortable "fit" for him.

saintsandpoets Tue 11-Nov-14 20:12:16

Why don't you just use Tag? Like Rachel's boyfriend in Friends?

TriciaMcM Tue 11-Nov-14 20:21:30

Tadhg in particular has negative connotations as stated above as it was used as an insulting label for Catholics up north (taig) by unionists. Outside the border counties in the Republic was less of an issue. I don't think you'll get anywhere with this one, and I wouldn't push it (though personally don't have a problem with the name at all - it's just more loaded than might be obvious to someone who didn't grow up in Ireland).

Canyouforgiveher Tue 11-Nov-14 20:22:15

I'm Irish catholic and wouldn't be offended but I think your dh has a solid reason to object. It would be a highly unusual name for an Irish protestant - north or south of the border - to use. Just not a cultural fit.

How about Fergus or Fergal? Those are Irish names I associate more with southern protestants for some reason.

turdfairynomore Tue 11-Nov-14 20:33:49

There are some names that "cross the divide" more these days. Patrick, Conor, Sean, Shay, Finn, Rory, Ronan,and they also fit more comfortably with your DC names perhaps?

AddToBasket Tue 11-Nov-14 20:36:20

Don't try to change your DH's opinion - try to find something you both like. Give up on this name and move on.

I love the name Owen, if that's a help!

TriciaMcM Tue 11-Nov-14 20:39:12

About the second part of your question- I don't know anyone who'd be offended to see a non-Catholic half irish child with an irish (Gaelic) name!! There's so much mingling now that it wouldn't be something that would be noticed. But believe it or not, children from Protestant Anglo Irish backgrounds tended not to (not that it's unheard of, but would be less common). It's probably partly to do with family names being reused. Equally, very English names are still rare enough in ireland - the names Mumsnetters call posh!

If it's something that bothers your husband, he's unlikely to change his mind. I wouldn't want to force a name on my husband either- we both have an automatic veto if we're not happy with a name! Good luck!

BarryTheHatchet Tue 11-Nov-14 20:44:53

What's the background to the name Ayla?

Maki79 Tue 11-Nov-14 20:52:47

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate your responses!
I would never try and force a name on him but I was unsure about how I felt about the reasoning, especially as it feels (to me) like giving a nod to the Ireland that is part of us (I guess after 15 yrs with Dh I feel I can claim a bit of it too - his family feel like mine!).
I'm going to leave it there and thanks for the other name suggestions. We both love Patrick but Dh is a Paddy so we can't really have 2. Hugh just seems a little too posh for us.
Sigh.....back to the drawing board!!

TriciaMcM Tue 11-Nov-14 23:12:22

You could definitely have Patrick again! Baby could be Pat? If you would like an irish connection, it might be nice to look at the top 100 boys names in ireland 2013 - www.cso.ie/en/releasesandpublications/er/ibn/irishbabiesnames2013/#.VGKW44rfXCQ

Not all are irish obviously but it might give you some more ideas?

TriciaMcM Tue 11-Nov-14 23:14:29

It's lovely that you want to acknowledge Irish background as well. Here's the top 100 names from last year in ireland. Not all are Irish of course, but it might give you some more ideas.

www.cso.ie/en/releasesandpublications/er/ibn/irishbabiesnames2013/#.VGKW44rfXCQ

TriciaMcM Tue 11-Nov-14 23:15:04

Sorry about double post, got error msg first time!

CormoranStrike Wed 12-Nov-14 13:30:19

Fergal

Finbar

Patrick

Owen

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