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Family opinions of names

(13 Posts)
RAFWife12 Tue 15-Apr-14 11:18:59

Would this matter to you?
DH and I have a really hard time agreeing on names, particularly boys. We are team yellow, so picking names for both genders, and narrowed it down to a top 3 for each. We decided not to reveal these names to any family or friends.
Out of nowhere my MIL (who I already don't have the best relationship with but that's a different story) says "whatever you do, don't name it Connor, all kids called Connor are little s***s". DH gave me a look and she realised what she'd done (it was our top name) and continued to defend her position!
DH and I still really like the name, and he still wants to use it. FIL and my parents agree we should keep it on the list. What would you do? I still really like it, but I don't want to use it if we have a son, and then every time he's naughty I get it thrown back in my face that its because of the name. MIL truly believes that names and personalities go hand in hand.

Fasterkillpussycat Tue 15-Apr-14 11:26:27

Names and personalities don't go hand in hand - keep the name and ignore her!

Theas18 Tue 15-Apr-14 11:27:54

Jut keep telling her Hades is a lovely name and then what ever you " change your name too" ( ie the name you really want but didn't tell her) will be a blessed relief to her!

RAFWife12 Tue 15-Apr-14 11:33:42

Faster - I know names and personalities don't go hand in hand, as does every other reasonable adult I've ever spoken to! MIL picked her son's names based on the fact she knew nice people with those names. Trying to convince her personality is due to genetics and upbringing is like talking to a brick wall.

Theas - love the idea, but she already worked out Connor was a favourite by the way DH looked at me when she made her little statement. Needless to say, the topic hasn't come up since (this was a few weeks ago) No one knows the other names we like.

SimplySara Tue 15-Apr-14 12:15:14

Sounds a bit like my MiL! I stupidly mentioned a name during my last pregnancy at which she went off on a vile rant complete with expletives about the name. I sat dumbfounded and at the end of her rant informed her it was my late father's name. All she said was "oh". No apology or anything. Still gets me to this day.
It may be hard to disregard her opinion but if you have the rest of the family, especially dh and FiL than it shouldn't be too much of s problem. She may have already seen the error of her ways and if not your husband could have a calm word with her about how her rant made you feel.

squoosh Tue 15-Apr-14 12:16:30

Whether it's a boy or girl I'd call the baby Conor just to piss her off.


Stokey Tue 15-Apr-14 12:27:10

DD2 is now two, DM is still campaigning against her name despite it being not in the least bit offensive.
Main problem was the numerology reading she got her mate to do came out negative.
We just try to let it wash over us, and refuse to change but it's not always easy thanks

RufusTheReindeer Tue 15-Apr-14 12:30:31

My parents were a bit shock at ds1's name

When he was born my mum looked at him and said"oh he looks like a Rufus"

So don't worry, children grow into their names and she will probably love it when he turns up

And if she doesn't , well who cares...does she have a great track record with picking names? What's DH's name?

Bet you could find something wrong with it grin

ButtonMoonicorn Tue 15-Apr-14 12:42:41

My youngest is a Conor (I prefer that spelling by far) and is so far a little ray of sunshine. If he grows up to be a nightmare it will not be anything to do with his name!
Your MIL is talking out of her arse.

GiniCooper Tue 15-Apr-14 12:42:49

Lol, have a girl and call her Conor!
Or Cornelia.

Ignore her.

SlimJiminy Tue 15-Apr-14 16:32:09

I wonder if your MIL actually knows anyone called Connor...?!?! I would keep the name on the list and see what happens when you have the baby. You might have a girl. You might have a boy that doesn't suit Connor. In which case, it's not worth stressing about now. You might also have a boy that you decide to name Connor. She'll soon learn that she was being silly/conveniently forget she ever made the comment. No more discussing names with family members ;)

RAFWife12 Tue 15-Apr-14 16:50:43

Rufus - DH and his brother have ok names. BIL's name is not my style, but i quite like DH name. They do both start with the same letter which personally i wouldnt do for a sibling set, but they arent weird names.

Slim - MIL works in a primary school, so chances are she'lm have come across at least 1 Connor, but doubt she'll have met many. I know we may not use the name, and i'm not really stressing over it. With DH being away i just have too much time to think! We werent even really discussing names, and have never told family what names we were considering. My parents wouldnt want to know. MIL decided she would give us advice on how to choose a name and came out with that statement completely out of the blue! Weird it just happened to be a name we love.

Thanks for everyones replies. As to the Connor/Conor, i like both spellings but DH prefers with 2 n's, so thats what we'll go with.

SlimJiminy Wed 16-Apr-14 10:20:11

Maybe the fact she came out with it completely out of the blue is a sign that it was meant to be?!!? ;-)

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