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Sister & I like the same name

(47 Posts)
180209cooper Fri 14-Feb-14 14:09:59

Whilst speaking to my sister recently about what were going to call our new baby. We told her the boys name & girls name we had decided on. She told me the girls name was the name she would use if she had a girl in the future. I spoke to other family who agreed she has always said this but I genuinely have never heard her mention it. My sister hasn't spoken to me about names since & is apparently upset!
The problem is my hubby is 100% set on this name & says she may never have a girl & first come first served. I love it but could be swayed by another.
What are your opinions please on whether you would use this name or not?

mamalovebird Fri 14-Feb-14 14:21:31

First come first served imo. My good friend wanted to use a name I always wanted when she was pregnant with her dd. She asked if I minded but I was nowhere near having children so would have been ridiculous to object.

I could still use the same name altho appreciate cousins would ge different, but I still think if your pg first then you gets first dibs on a name.

Ifcatshadthumbs Fri 14-Feb-14 14:23:54

Use the name. I find it odd that people think up names for children that are not yet in the making.

BackforGood Fri 14-Feb-14 14:25:30

Agree - you actually have a child to name. At present, she may, or may not, at some point in the future, have a child. Daft not to use a name you like on that reasoning.

Spottybra Fri 14-Feb-14 14:36:36

First come first served. DH and I decided on Lucy for a girl before we were even married.

Youngest bridesmaid was my 8 month old neice - Lucy. My sister was maid of honour.

We found another name we love.

DramaAlpaca Fri 14-Feb-14 14:37:57

First come first served, I think.

SIL & I were due a month apart, me with DS2 & her with DC1. She had a boy & didn't announce the name for about a week. I knew I was also having a boy & was absolutely dreading her using the name I wanted, which I'd almost used as DS1's middle name but liked so much I kept in reserve in case I had another boy. We hadn't discussed names at all, so she had no idea what name I wanted. There was no way we could use the same name as the cousins have the same surname.

Fortunately for her she chose a different name!

Lovethesea Fri 14-Feb-14 14:40:03

As others said she may not have a girl or might change her mind and not use it if she does,

I think actual baby trumps hypothetical baby for a simple case of both liking the name.

maggiemight Fri 14-Feb-14 14:46:55

Other family said she had always said this re name???

I must be superstitious - I would never have swanned around saying I'm going to have a baby called X years before I even got pregnant, tempting fate imo. Does she even have a DP? and if so does he agree???

AngelaDaviesHair Fri 14-Feb-14 14:51:40

I told my sister my favourite girl's name. She used it for her DD. I'm rather proud I 'named' my niece, so to speak.

And of course, I accepted it's first come first served. 16 years later I had a DD, called her something else, without rancour. No one gets to reserve a name for a child they might never have. Use it.

YoureBeingASillyBilly Fri 14-Feb-14 14:59:47

Definitely use it.

She may never have a girl and also, i changed my mind quite alot from the start if my pregnancies to actually naming dcs so it's likely she will too.

WhatWouldCaitlinDo Fri 14-Feb-14 15:03:00

I agree re: first come first served. DH and I had two names picked, a boy and a girl. His brother had a baby before us and used the boy's name, then they had no 2, a girl, and used the girl's name! At the time I was upset, but pragmatic. They got there first, after all. Now I actually prefer the name we chose for DC after our first option was "stolen"!

CuriosityCola Fri 14-Feb-14 15:03:02

I'm going to go against the trend. My sister and I are pretty close though. I know she has had a girls name that she has loved since being a child. I would never use it. Especially in your case when you aren't bothered.

milkingmachine1 Fri 14-Feb-14 15:06:17

Before I had my dd I had my heart set on a name but when she arrived and we tried out the name on her it just didn't suit her. So we went with a totally different name, which I now love even more. You just don't know how things will pan out. For what it's worth it's first come first served in my book.

giggly Fri 14-Feb-14 15:11:32

It's a tricky one. I always knew what my dd1 name would be, no other name came close. My best friend despite knowing my dd2 chosen name shortened her own dd to the same name. So we both have dd with the same name. In your case I would speak to your sister don't let it become a family fallout.

WillSingForCake Fri 14-Feb-14 15:12:55

Does she even have a DP/DH at the moment? Because she may find the future father of her potential DD may hate the name, and not want to use it?

I'd say go for it - first come, first served.

180209cooper Fri 14-Feb-14 15:23:39

Yes she has a partner. Her & her husband to be both agree on this name. Also their baby would have the same surname as ours.
Lets hope I have a boy & won't need to worry about it.
Thanks for all your honest comments. You've made me feel better about it now.

AngelaDaviesHair Fri 14-Feb-14 15:27:52

You told her it was the chosen name before she told you it was the one she liked. That to me is the absolute clincher.

pilates Fri 14-Feb-14 15:33:59

What's the name?

180209cooper Fri 14-Feb-14 15:38:09

I genuinely had no idea that they liked it but my other sisters say she has. I'd rather not say the name, sorry

missmagnum Fri 14-Feb-14 15:41:10

My sister and I were both pregnant at the same time and finding out what we were having at our 20 week scans, they were days apart and hers was first. She came out and text everyone her dd was to be called ???.The exact name I had told her me and dp loved. I was upset but didn't need to say anything as my scan showed I was expecting a ds. Not sure what would have happened if I had been having a girl too.

As she isn't even pregnant I think you would be quite reasonable to use the name.

GimmeDaBoobehz Fri 14-Feb-14 15:46:46

I too think using the name would be fine.

She might never have a DD and you might not have another DD, so neither of you could potentially not use the name.

How far gone are you?

How exciting and congratulations! smile

anothernumberone Fri 14-Feb-14 15:51:40

I am intrigued that the children have the same surnames are you both using your maiden names or have you the same married name? I would use it, then I have a huge family and if the same name was used twice it would not be a big deal. In the last generation here in Ireland every family had Mary smile.

180209cooper Fri 14-Feb-14 15:56:50

Thank you. Im due 4 weeks today. We are both going to have the same married name, no relation though.

Forago Fri 14-Feb-14 16:00:26

first come first served imo - I have 3 dc and have done this to both of my sisters! (though in fairness, one of them was only annoyed that she wanted to call the dog she was going to get the same as what I named my first child) - prerogative of being eldest/first to have children! Tell her to get over it, you can't reserve names, she might never have children/girls.

Frikadellen Fri 14-Feb-14 16:20:02

Use the name if you like it. My sister wanted meto not use one of the names we had on our short list because that was her name "incase she ever had a 2nd" she had no plans to have another. we kept it on short list but dd2 didnt feel lik e this name so didn t use it.

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