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Would you choose a name your husband isnt really keen on?

(19 Posts)
TreaterAnita Sat 02-Nov-13 22:55:16

I wouldn't choose a name my husband wasn't happy with, no. We chose a name that has an English and a Welsh spelling. Husband was determined on the Welsh spelling (he is Welsh, it wasn't totally random) so I agreed to that. Slightly regretting it now as lots of people seem to be unfamiliar with it and pronounce it in the most horrible way (I have cringed many times in waiting rooms when his name has been called, because it sounds like I've given him a weird made up name) so would probably have opted for an alternative as he wouldn't have agreed to the English spelling. But if one of us didn't like a name, it was automatically out of choosing,

TheLeftovermonster Sat 02-Nov-13 22:16:37

I wouldn't choose a name dh hates, but would try and persuade him in the OP's case. Why are Michael and Gabriel not 'ethnic', but Raphael is? hmm

Alisvolatpropiis Sat 02-Nov-13 21:37:22

If he actually hated it,no. I have had to concede Jasper partly for this reason (also realised it sounded crap with surname)

If he were indifferent,yes I would go ahead.

As he has said himself, I care far more about it than he does.

itsnothingoriginal Fri 01-Nov-13 08:05:08

No sorry I wouldn't (and didn't!) either.

I really, really wanted to call DS Theo but DH just didn't like it at all so we found a name eventually that we both agreed on.

What about Rafferty?

I think Raphael is lovely but that's probably not helpful for your dilemma!

Retroformica Fri 01-Nov-13 06:09:05


mrsravelstein Tue 29-Oct-13 19:43:49

dh and i couldn't agree on a name for ds2. on the way to the registry office, having still not agreed on a name for 7 week old ds2, ds1 suggested we call him 'raphael', which i loved, and dh vehemently disagreed. so this OP made me smile. (we didn't call him raphael, we pulled a name out of thin air right at the last moment that we both quite liked....)

GwendolineMaryLacey Tue 29-Oct-13 19:42:53

No alas I wouldn't. I really wanted a particular name for dd2. I nagged for 9 months and he tried his hardest to like it but he just didn't. Several times he offered to just give in a let me use it but I couldn't give his child a name that he didn't like, any more than I wouldn't have been impressed with him forcing his name choice on me. It's tough and I'm still sad about her name but it's only fair.

Florrieboo Tue 29-Oct-13 19:40:54

I only know one Raffi and he is blonde and blue eyed, it suits him perfectly.

However I agree that both parents need to like a name.

elskovs Mon 28-Oct-13 16:55:24

Thank you for the replies. I think you are right, I want him to like the name too. We both agreed on the first 2 and I thought we would with number 3. Interesting that Raphael is the name of an angel... I had no idea.. I think its the shortening Raffi that he doesn't like, and I agree it does sound foreign.

Bakingtins Mon 28-Oct-13 14:04:25

I think you both need to like the name. For both of our boys I've had to strike off names that I loved and DH disliked. Don't let him just say he doesn't like your suggestions and not come up with any though! Try sitting down and coming up with a short list of 10 names each and see if there is any cross over, even if not you'll get an idea where the other's tastes are.

BigOrangePumpkin Mon 28-Oct-13 12:41:45

I think the question to ask yourself would be how would you feel if the roles were reversed and he was trying to make you have a name that you really didn't like? If you can hand on heart say that you'd be ok with it then go for it. But if not then please don't.
FWIW I had the same issue, DP said I could have ultimate say over first and middle names for DD. I had one that I've absolutely ADORED for years, even before I was set on having kids, he said he really didn't like it but that it was up to me. Initially I was still going to go with it, but the combination of what I've said above, and knowing that I'd always have the knowledge that whilst I loved it, he really didn't like it put me off in the end. Ultimately your child's name should be something you both love and agree on.

howmuchwouldyoutake Mon 28-Oct-13 12:33:39

No - I wouldn't. Just like I wouldn't 'let' DP pick a name I didn't like. Agree on a name together - just like you'll have to agree on parenting decisions together. Why start off on a bad foot?

Littlecherublegs Mon 28-Oct-13 12:25:16

If he really hates it then no, I don't think you should go with it.
When me and DH were deciding on names often one of us would suggest something the other disliked so immediately it was ruled out.
There were / are some names that maybe one of us loves more than the other but I imagine that is normal / common, but I think you both have to like the name in order to choose it.

PinkParsnips Mon 28-Oct-13 12:18:22

No I wouldn't, even if he said I could pick. I couldn't name our child a name I knew he hated - sorry op!

Mim78 Mon 28-Oct-13 11:57:51

I think you need to have some sort of agreement. If he's saying you can pick then I guess it's fine. It would probably be better to find a name you both like but if you can't agree then I suppose one of you has to choose.

scarevola Mon 28-Oct-13 11:50:43

I would associate Raphael with the archangel and think it fits any 'type' just as Michael and Gabriel do. But that doesn't really help, as it's unlikely to persuade your DH. If he was lukewarm about the name, then you might get him to change his mind. But if he's really against it, then I think you might want to see if there are alternatives. I don't think a name one of you hates is going to be a happy choice.

bundaberg Mon 28-Oct-13 11:46:33

too "ethnic"??? what is that supposed to mean?

ultimately though, if he doesn't like it then no... don't go with something he doesn't like

YDdraigGoch Mon 28-Oct-13 11:44:41

No, I wouldn't chose a name DH didn't like. It's his baby too - so not only your choice.

Rafael is Spanish I think, and I tend to agree with your DH about it, though not because the baby is blond, but because Rafael is not a British name.

elskovs Mon 28-Oct-13 11:42:01

I really like Rafael but my husband says its too ethnic and wouldn't suit a little blonde boy.

Is he likely to change his mind once the baby is born? He says I can pick

Does he have a point about Rafael?

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