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Did you/would you go for a 'safe' name so as not to upset ...

(143 Posts)
wonderingifiam2013 Fri 06-Sep-13 13:40:16

Parents and in-laws?

I know people have strong views on revealing/not revealing names before baby arrives but both DH and I do not want to share our names before baby arrives. We don't know the sex and want to introduce baby to everyone by his/her name.

With baby #1 we were bombarded EVERY time we saw family members with name suggestions and questions even though they knew we wouldn't reveal the names we had chosen.

This time it's only just started (well past half way rather than just conceived last time! grin) and isn't half as bad as last time ... yet!

But ... my inlaws were introduced to a baby the other week who had a name we secretly loved, although not top of our list, and totally slagged it off and asked why on earth you'd call a baby that?

Now the name we like for a girl is quite 'safe' although not overly popular ... whereas the boys name we both like will be greeted with shock/horror ... which both of us giggle at as it makes us want to use it even more so!

Therefore - are we being stubborn in wanting to use a name we know the family won't like and should we go for a safer more traditional name?

FondantNancy Fri 06-Sep-13 14:54:39

Aurora is lovely - in fact, it's on my list too!

Dimitiesofblue Fri 06-Sep-13 15:37:06

Disney would put me off Aurora I'm afraid. I quite liked it before.

absentmindeddooooodles Fri 06-Sep-13 15:43:00

Just wanted to say what a beautiful name. Not too out there but unique ( around these parts anyway) I would love to use that nake for a future dd. smile

LazyFaire Fri 06-Sep-13 15:44:50

If you're worried, tell them an even worse one first grin

"Hi mum and Dad, meet little Chlamydia"
<jaws drop>
"Just kidding, this is insert possibly-controversial-but-at-least-it's-not-Chlamydia name "

And I think Aurora is lovely too! Much better than what I liked at 5!

Stokey Fri 06-Sep-13 15:47:45

My mother still hates dd2's name and keeps trying to call her by her middle name as my aunt said it was unlucky (something to do with numerology and our surname). She adores dd1's name & is lucky dd2 wasn't ds1 as my husband had some very unusual ideas.

I think in-laws definitely don't "get" the old lady chic trend, what was cool when they were having us is definitely not cool now.

Go for what you want, you need to use it everyday & parents will get used to it eventually. When dd1 was born, my mother used to mockingly call her "Hopey" - her middle name is Hope which is another of my mum's hates - but now she never mentions it.

bananamummy Fri 06-Sep-13 15:47:48

Of course you should choose the name you love - if you love it and feel it sounds good with your surname, then it will be the right choice.

Thankfully we all have different tastes and therefore choose different names for our kids. That is good. Names are meant to identify the person so the bigger the name diversity the better.

Your parents had their chance to name their children. Now it is your turn to name YOUR children.

Hooya Fri 06-Sep-13 15:49:08

We had the same dilemma particularly with our girl's name, which will now not be an issue as we're having a boy. But we discussed in depth and agreed we'd always wonder if we didn't use it whether we should have.

My mum, who is brilliant and non-judgmental, said on the subject - at the end of the day no-one can judge you because it's an actual person and whatever you call him - that's his name!

bananamummy Fri 06-Sep-13 15:49:42

And who cares if some people don't love Aurora. It will still be your daugher's name if you love it. People will soon associate it with her. You might not like others' name choices either - it really doesn't matter.

ZingWantsCake Fri 06-Sep-13 16:03:44

oh the name game.

It's hard enough to find names we both like and fits several criteria - I never gave a flying monkey's left bollock what anyone else thought.

the only other person I'd discuss options in depth was one of my SILs.

it's just boring when people pester you. with DS5 I told everyone that a boy will be called "Button" and a girl "Ribbon". I like sewing. It was fun for me to tease people and see their shocked faces.

similarly with DD we told people that baby's brothers decided that he or she wil be called Yoda, regardless of sex.
Yoda Shark (boy) or Yoda Yogurt (girl)


(our kids have Biblical names : Joshua, Samuel, Michael, Noah, Isaac & Elizabeth)

confettiwoman Fri 06-Sep-13 16:07:27

I definately say if you and your DH agree on a name, then go with it, its the pairs of yours choice.

About a month ago i MC, but before that i was talking with my DH about names, as i'd had names in my head for DECADES! For a girl i loved Isobel Alice, and for a boy David Henry. Both sets of names i love and have family meanings to me (both families i'll add), but when i told my other half he raised his eyebrows and said he was surprised that i'd want something so traditional. I know now it doesn't matter - or at least until we are lucky enough to conceive again, but it pissed me off no end that he didn't even like either sets of names.
He then went on the mumset 'top 100 names' and i'll be honest (and very sorry if anyone has chosen this) but i had a right strop that i wasn't going to call any offspring of mine after a character in a book i hadn't even read (Twilight, 50 Shades, Hunger Games etc) OR after a flower. I know some people love calling their daugters flowers names (one friend whose DD was born on 11th Nov was named Poppy after rememberance day), but its just not 'us'.

Stick to your guns and if you like it - go for it. And Aurora is a lovely name. Makes me think of mermaids (i know thats Ariel but hey thats how my mind works!)

thedreamersmother Fri 06-Sep-13 16:30:16

Go for the name you love. One of my DCs (eldest) has a 'safe' name (consistently top 10) which I like, but the others have far more unusual (not 'out there' just not top 100) names which I really love. I far prefer introducing my younger DCs to people blush. I feel we gave far to much weigh to others' opinions when naming DC1 and if doing it again I would give him a name which really excited me.

withdrawalmethod Fri 06-Sep-13 16:30:29

I love Aurora too.

My MIL hates DS's name so much she can barely bring herself to say it - she also rang DH to tell him we were "bloody idiots" for calling him that!! And she is a lovely woman usually, I think she thinks we have condemned him to a lifetime of bullying sad Everyone else loves it so I'm glad we didn't give her the chance to put us off before we had him! I absolutely love his name and am so glad we went a bit more unusual (with my DD we were more sensible, and although I love her name, I know she won't be the only one in her class!)

Ezio Fri 06-Sep-13 16:31:18

I love Aurora, its beautiful.

I chose Phoebe for my DD, fell in love with the name years ago, no one would have stopped me calling her that.

But then everyone i've come across said it was a lovely name.

Ezio Fri 06-Sep-13 16:31:50

Withdraw Whats the name?

SJaneS Fri 06-Sep-13 16:35:15

Go with it - some people will like it but some won't and life it too short to worry about what everybody thinks. My mother pulled a face at my DD's name (Nell) but then this is the woman who called me the highly original name of Sarah ( I was one of 5 in my class). Aurora is pretty AND its the name of Sleeping Beauty!

withdrawalmethod Fri 06-Sep-13 16:37:43

Cassius smile

Ezio Fri 06-Sep-13 16:37:48

SJ Nell is lovely.

and the meaning of Nell is "horn; sun ray, shining light"

squoosh Fri 06-Sep-13 16:39:13

I love Cassius, Cass is the best and coolest nickname for a boy ever!

How seriously rude of your MIL.

Ezio Fri 06-Sep-13 16:40:13

I like Cassius, its different, but not out there.

I dont think hes gonna get bullied for it, your MIL is the idiot.

Ezio Fri 06-Sep-13 16:41:30

Cassius actually gives me the image of a handsome, suited, tough talking businessman.

FondantNancy Fri 06-Sep-13 16:45:05

I love Cassius!

<updates list>

The 'he'll be bullied' thing is so lame. In my experience kids will find a way to bully whatever someone's name is.

Ezio Fri 06-Sep-13 16:46:59

Agreed Nancy, you can have a name that 10 others have, people will still pick on you for some reason.

I want a son just so a can call him Ezio.

withdrawalmethod Fri 06-Sep-13 16:47:17

I know!! It's not like we called him Moon Unit (apols to any Moon Units grin ).

I have been quite shocked at how "invested" family members have seemed regarding our baby name choices - they've had their go at naming babies, it's weird and controlling to even comment imo confused

Ezio Fri 06-Sep-13 16:49:35

Or Dweezil!!!

ZingWantsCake Fri 06-Sep-13 16:50:33

btw Aurora is lovely.

You might want to know (or already aware) that it means Dawn and was the name of the Russian warship which fired the first shot that started the Russian revolution in 1917.

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