; baby names?
I have a family member who has a list (not a long one) of baby names she wants to use when she has children. I'm not planning to use any of these but...do you think this is a funny thing to do?
Surely everyone has a short list of names they plan to call their child/ren. Many talk about it and others keep it to themselves. Why would anyone think this is "a funny thing to do"?
I always wanted a Jacob. He turned into Isaac. Use what you like if you beat her chances are she may not have wanted it after the event anyway.
When we were in our early teens, my sister and I used to argue over who would get to use the name Jack, as (a) we both loved it and (b) it's the name of our grandfather.
Well I say we would argue, my sister (who is younger than me) would be doing the shouting, I would be the one saying "it will simply be a case of who has a boy first."
Roll on a few years, and I fell pregnant at 19, and had a son. I named him Jack. Sister was furious.
Six years later, when pregnant with DS2, she tried to present DH and I with a list of names we were "forbidden" from using. We laughed at her and didn't even look at the list.
Lo and behold, the name we used (Alexander), was one of the names she wanted to "forbid" us from using.
DD's name (Sarah) also made her grumpy, as she liked that too.
We're both pregnant now - I'm due on 14 July - she's due on 19 August (her first child). We're both expecting girls. We have respectably agreed not to talk about names. If we use something she is considering, sparks will fly again, of that I'm sure.
But anyway, the gist of all that was, no-one can reserve names. It's a case of who gets there first in my book, and as far as my sister and I go, I have gotten there first. Just the way life goes I'm afraid.
My youngest sister has always loved the name Violet since she was tiny - long before it became popular again.
DH's grandmother was called Violet and it's a name I also liked (fortunately DH didn't) but I would have felt terrible if I had used it as I know how she feels about it - even if she does end up with a DP who doesn't.
What we did do - since 4 family members were pregnant at the same time - was to tell people straight away what our name choices were for both boy and girl.
We didn't care if they used them, but we wanted to avoid being accused of nabbing someone else's choice.
I supposed I'd be slightly miffed if a family member named their child the exact combination of first, middle, second middle that we have still got picked out should we have a second, but again we know that we can't be accused of nicking it which would actually upset me more than someone using the names we liked.
Having big long lists and expecting people to avoid the whole lot - especially if they are common/popular names is madness (and even more so if you're not even pregnant/TTC)
Throw a baby name book at her and say you have reserved the whole lot until you know what you're going to choose.
Thankfully me and my OH are both the eldest children and the only ones in a relationship (and I'm pregnant). My OH is a primary school teacher and doesn't want to name our baby a name that one of his pupils has. Fortunately we have our names planned and he hasn't got any of them in his class this year, hopefully he wont in September either!
This is a bit of a non-issue, isn't it? OP's relative has made a shortlist of three names she might choose from, none of which OP wants to use herself.
Move along, nothing to see here.
Hm, yeah, it's funny and i think it's a little odd to come out and say it.
Having said that, i wouldn't use Ralph or Vida (grandparents names) despite loving them both, because i know how much it would mean to my brother if he could use them for his children.
There's nothing wrong with having a list of names you want to use in the future, but to forbid others is stupid.
BABY NAMES: FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED.
I do have a list of baby names I like (I make lists of everything as I have such an awful memory i am likely to forget any names I like by the time i have DC!)
But this list is for me, to remind myself, I've never shown it to anyone else (not even DH)
My first and second favourite girls names have recently been used by an acquaintance (sister of my close friend) but that hasn't bothered me or made me decide I now can't or wont use them
Where has the OP said that the relative has "forbidden" others to use the names?
I don't know whether the names are forbidden. It would seem a bit weird to use them though, given I know that a close family member is desperate to use them.
I am not planning to use them but the boys name eliminates quite a few girls' names as they would shorten to the boys name. Does that make sense?
Reserving names for uncertain future children is presumptuous and a bit self-important isn't it? All of my family and friends had extensive discussions about possible baby names and still do from time to time. It's quite fun! No one, however, has ever reserved one for themselves. Loving a name...hoping to use a name, it's normal. Restricting an actual pregnant person from using a name, because your hypothetical baby may need that name some day is ridiculous.
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