Wish we hadn't said anything...(66 Posts)
Hey there! I'm 26+3 today and so we know we're having a little girl and decided to come up with a few names we like and we absolutely LOVE the name Alice. The thing is, we didn't want to keep it from the family, but now I wish we had, because the MIL sings that bloody song who the f* is Alice every time I see her! I've tried explaining (in the nicest way possible) that I don't want people telling us where else they've heard any names we've chosen, and that not many people under 35 have ever heard this song! I know none of my friends had!! Feeling really down now because I really love that name and so does my OH but I'm starting to get
hormonal annoyed whenever we are around her. Any suggestions to stop me saying something or clipping her around the back of the head would be appreciated
I know the song and I'm 29! Wouldn't be my first thought on hearing the name Alice though, perfectly normal, pretty name.
Alice is one of our favourites too.
I wasn't going to discuss names but also found myself talking to mil about them.
me: I like the name Isla.
mil: oh I don't like that.
me: tbh,you don't get any say in it.
mil: I'll just call her lulu then.
I love her to bits but that annoyed me!
Next time she sings it I would say "that's quite rude actually. Are you going to sing that to your granddaughter when she's here and introduce her to that kind of language?"
Meant to say, it wouldn't bother me. My name is Kathleen, and when I was a child one of the old uncles used to regularly break into "I'll take you home again Kathleen". I didn't mind, it felt quite special having my own song.
We have an Alice. No one has ever sung that song to her as far as I know. I'd be furious if they did (she's 9).
I think that while in the womb everyone has an opinion, but the moment they meet your DD and Alice becomes HER name, whatever they thought of it previously, it'll be the best name in the universe. Because she'll be perfect (based on my experience!)
Just find a name that you really don't like with a really catchy old tune associated with it and say that you've changed your mind an that's your new choice. Like Delilah (My my Delilah) or Billie Jean or Carrie Ann
Here's a good list to give you some ideas
Agree with Nooka, tell her you have completely gone off Alice and her name is going to be Delilah
Alice is a gorgeous name btw and try not to let MIL grind you down, I'm afraid that the err, more difficult ones tend to go into overdrive when their grandchildren actually arrives, best to prepare and have avoidance tactics at the ready.
I'd just point to my belly and hiss 'she can hear you!', then pat tummy and say 'grandmas only kidding'.
She's rude! And probably thinks she is highly amusing too.
Tell her that she's upset you so much with the Alice song that you've decided not to use it and are just going to call the baby after YOUR mother and grandmother.
But not after her. Because her name makes you think of some other crap song/a school bully/someone horrible off the TV/a nasty old lady who sings rude songs about her grandchildren.
Actually, when the "Who the...is Alice?" song came out, a colleague had a two year old daughter called Alice and she still tells the story of how some stranger heard her call her daughters name and sang the "who the..." line at her.
And she very politely said "Alice is my two year old daughter who is standing right behind you!"
Apparently the man was very apologetic. It won't be the first thing most people think of when they hear the name now, but your MIL might not be the only one who thinks it's funny to sing it to you.
Alice is lovely ignore her about that...... but you could just come out with a list of names she'd really not like to give yourself some fun, a new one a week!
Thank you so mich for your replies its nice to know people have had Alice's and nobody has sung that to them, its bad enough now but i think id lose the plot if she did it when the baby is here, thank you everyone xxx
Tell her she's right and you've decided to change your choice of name to Chardonnay Capriciosa as there are no songs about those names - that should shut her up.
And ignore, ignore, ignore - Alice is a pretty name and if you and DH like it, that's all that matters.
Alice is lovely and your MIL is an old bat and bloody rude. Ignore her or tell her not to be so rude about her granddaughter.
Love the name Alice. Next time she sings 'who the f* is Alice' just reply 'she is your granddaughter and this is wearing thin.'
Can sympathise about people always Singing songs about your child's name- my DS is called Alfie and people are always singing 'what's it all about Alfie' to him. First time it happened, I was in a shop and he was about 7 months old. I was talking to him and used his name and a little old lady must have overheard and ce over singing it to him. I'd never heard this song before and thought she was nuts, so nodded politely and hurried away! Went to a cafe and put him in the highchair and a staff member then started singing it to him. I seriously thought i had been set up and there were secret cameras filming me- I was half expecting ant and dec to come up to me
Since then I've heard the original, and he's now 3 and we must have heard random people singing it to us at least 50 times.
My 7 month old daughter is Ruby- the younger generation song kaiser chiefs 'Ruby Ruby Ruby' and the older generation sing 'Ruby don't take your love to town.'
Next child I should just call Bob- there's no songs about a Bob is there?!
Chocoflump the really silly thing is her son is called Alfie and it frustrated her whenever people sung that around her!! She gave me a ring earlier and asked about names again so I tried avoiding the subject and she said 'why don't you go for something unusual, all the names you like are boring' just to let you know, her sons are called Alfie, Joe and Jacob hardly the rarest names! Gah, I might just block her calls and lock the doors
Play her at her own game, tell her yes, you will go for something unusual, you've always loved the name Coconut.
Haha, the problem is, she quite seriously said 'you could call her Mackenzie and then we can buy her the Mckenzie tracksuit' ??!! I think she'd like it if I told her I was going to call my baby Princess Tallullah Pineapple or something equally ridiculous, might just say we're going to call her Kevin. Especially if it is a girl. See what she has to say to that!
By suggesting you've all been enjoying the little joke with her she won't feel singled out
Someone suggested this upthread, it is a kind thought but otoh if MIL is the only one chanting this song it really shouldn't be up to OP to pretend they've all had a laugh about it and it doesn't hurt when actually, it is irritating/upsetting/infuriating.
"Go for something unusual" okay, tell her you and DP have decided to call DD whatever day of the week she's born on.
DC2 has a name that is a song.
We nearly rejected it because I knew my mother would sing the song.
In the end, after DC2 was born, DH told them what the name was and said that under no circumstances was the song ever to be sung in my presence, laying it on a bit thick with the hormone bonkersness
although it wasn't just that.
So far she has complied, but I've seen her start automatically and then stop herself.
It's bloody rude of your MIL, and her son needs to Have A Strict Word.
Alice is a beautiful name. I adore it, and the song is one of the last associations I have with it.
I am 69 and have never heard that song! Alice is a really gorgeous name-just go for it
Donkeys: It was me and I wasn't being kind! It's actually a manipulative strategy.
The thing is, the OP wants MIL to stop singing it without a confrontation.
Suggesting that they have all been enjoying it is a manipulative sweetener, as if she just said "I find it annoying, so stop it" (or words to that effect) MIL could act all wronged "it was only a bit of fun! <huff>" and it turns into a drama.
MIL will find it incredibly difficult to find a "latch" to get annoyed about if OP presents it sweetly. (is the idea).
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