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how do you choose a name?

(87 Posts)
amandasegal Sun 07-Apr-13 21:37:53

where do you start?? i can't think of any name i want.. tell me how you chose your names, maybe i'll get inspired.. thanks

shellandkai Tue 09-Apr-13 08:58:15

When we found out we were having a boy we went at 1st with Harvey due to his last name Khetani but we changed our mind and my sister in fact came up with his name my partner said no then but when he went on a baby name search on google came up with his name Kai Nayan Khetani (the same name my sister had said) the middle name is because it is my partners 1st name and his deceased dads too his family actually wanted us to have kumar as all the boys had that as a middle name but imagine having a quarter Indian child with the initials K.K.K not exactly appropriate is it? Hahaha

resipsa Tue 09-Apr-13 09:16:25

Don't worry; it'll come to you. And don't pay too much heed to the stats. According to them, we saddled DD with the most popular girl's name of 2011 (she was born in January so we had no way of predicting). I have yet to meet another girl locally with the same name who'll be in her school year. Good luck!

zoetstoffen Tue 09-Apr-13 10:23:46

I first saw DS's name on mumsnet, and it remained high on the potential list (it has a similar "feel" to a more common and potentially faddy name that I loved but was worried about it quickly being very dated).

sayithowitis Tue 09-Apr-13 10:44:19

For DC1, there was a tv character from my childhood whose name I loved. It is generally assumed to be an abbreviation, but is a name in its own right and has strong links with our family heritage. For DC2, another name I had seen many years ago, when a very well known ( at the time) 'celebrity' used it for his son. It also has strong connections to our family heritage. DH loved both names. For middle names, DC1 has a family name from DG side, DC2 has my family name.

For girls, we deliberately set out to find names we liked that were associated with family heritage, though choice of middle name was another film/book character's name that we both loved. Never needed the girl's name.

redwellybluewelly Tue 09-Apr-13 13:06:24

Like resipca we picked out a name for DC#1 which was the most popular in her year - I have yet to know of another child her age or younger with it! And she goes to a nursery of 130+ children so its not as if we don't hear loads of names.

We picked the name for DC#1 as it was a character from a book which ultimately led me down the career path I follow today - DC#2 is due in 8/9 weeks time and although we have an idea for a boys name (family names combined, first name from my side, middle name from DH's family) we are having real problems deciding on a girls name.

So we've decided we will wait until we meet s/he and decide then, I've some ideas (mostly from books) but I think I need to meet baby before I saddle them with a name for life. DC#1's name is perfect (for her) and suits her 100%.

ExasperatedSigh Tue 09-Apr-13 13:32:47

Both times the process went like this:

I suggested loads of names
DH vetoed
DH suggested one name
I vetoed
I made more lists of names
DH suggested a name I had previously offered
We both liked it
DH convinced forevermore it was his idea

We really struggled to find a lot of names that we agreed on, that worked with my surname/our accent etc. With DS we had a shortlist of about 8, but realistically only ever one contender (which he is now called). Middle name is after my brother who died a few years ago. With DD, we literally had one first name and one middle name and that was it. Lucky they both suited her!

My top tip: when opening negotiations, don't lead off with your absolute favourite. It will get shot down in flames instantly and never make it back into contention.

<still bitter about Elsa>

Snowflakepie Tue 09-Apr-13 14:57:28

I gave DH the top 100 boys names list for 2011 and told him to write down anything he liked or anything else that came to mind. I knew he couldn't cope with more than that and I had already done the same, and my favourites were all in the top 100. He came back with 3. 2 of them were out due to sounding silly with surname and an awkward family association on my side. Luckily #3 was on both our lists, so that was that. Middle names are from family, one each side. Although actually our boy middle names can be found on both sides, nice and easy! For DD he came out with a name after the 20 week scan and we both loved it. I wasn't worried about popularity, just needed to love the name. The right name just seems right!

Jojobump1986 Tue 09-Apr-13 15:12:25

We looked through the Bible, argued, changed the subject, reassessed, argued, shouted, cried well, I did, asked for opinions on MN, decided against all the names, checked the Bible again, (repeat x100)... Demanded MN choose a name for us, couldn't reach a consensus so I refused to get out of the bath until DH came up with a solution! He decided we'd try out a few names for a couple of days each. DH v quickly got used to calling him Asher. I had my first worry-free night for weeks! grin

VisualiseAHorse Tue 09-Apr-13 15:30:04

I wanted something Welsh, but usable and easy to spell/pronounce, because both of us have Welsh family, plus we both have hard to pronounce names and know how hard it can be to live with a difficult name!

We had a boy's name picked out very early on (Dylan - which was handy because we both love Bob Dylan and Dylan Thomas too!). It also means 'son of the sea/waves', which I really love as I'm from the coast.

Girls names - we never decided on one. I drew up a list, OH didn't like any of them. To be honest, I knew we were having a boy from the word go, so I didn't see the point of picking a girl's name!!

WhoPaintedTheLion Tue 09-Apr-13 16:32:32

We printed off lists of the top 500 girls' and boys' names from our respective countries and went through them individually, then chose from the resulting lists we had of names we both liked.

kittykat10 Tue 09-Apr-13 16:47:42

if i was ever to have children it would be

tamar rose
jesica may

boys liked


Treaclesmart Tue 09-Apr-13 18:48:41

I hated having to compromise with DH! Everything I suggested he poo pooed, and everything he suggested was horrible wink. We chose family names for middle names and our second one was named after a trip to the cemetry for inspiration

marriedinwhiteagain Tue 09-Apr-13 19:52:15

There was so little we agree on it wasn't an isssue. We had both agreed on Hugo and the midwife when "ugh - he's not a Hugo" so I was lucky I got my first choice and DH's 2nd. For dd it was easier we had sort of agreed on a short list of three with one as a front runner - my grandad phoned and asked if this baby had a name and I said yes she does xxxxx, just like grandma was. Job done. Grandad cried. And dd is the spitting image of the grandma I adored and often have a happy tear when I look at the same adorable blue eyed face and tiny feet and dainty features. (She's nearly 15 btw and still a size 4 - grannie never got beyond 3).

DownyEmerald Tue 09-Apr-13 21:48:25

DP has cornish roots, we both really like Wales, and the west of Scotland, Ireland, Brittany so it seemed reasonable to buy a Celtic book. I also bought lots of other books. By the time we went into hospital we had a shortlist of 100 or so with one firm favourite (Naomi). During labour the initial midwife's surname reminded me of a name I quite liked, but wasn't in any of my books.

Day 3 we sat down and narrowed down the shortlist to 4 plus the new name. Put list up over mirror. Day 4 (top tip: do not let the in-laws spend the day with you on day 4) the in-laws took all our time (we took down the list; didn't want their input!). Night 4 above-mentioned midwife was crucial in getting breastfeeding working after lots of angst and dry nappies. Day 5 I just knew, DP came in to hosp, he'd got a favourite too. Luckily we'd both decided we wanted the new name. We were talking the other day how it has been such a good decision. We can't imagine her as a Lucy, Naomi, Joni or Amelie.

So - we ended up with a name that despite being Welsh wasn't in my Celtic name book! And we like that we sort of named her after the midwife.

I would have liked to do something family, but didn't actually like any of the names I knew! In theory I would also have liked to do something with an awesome meaning - mine has a great meaning - but it wasn't to be, and it's not even a shadow of regret in reality, because the name is just so right.

EugenesAxe Tue 09-Apr-13 21:55:28

The Bible and historical figures. Kings, queens etc. If you have any familial ties to a particular part of the world that's a useful start, as Downy says.

I never considered popularity really. I went for names that sounded OK with the surname and didn't give stupid initials.

We both agreed that pissing about with the spelling was not on. DH vetoed anything that sounded too wanky and rah. We ended up with solid, classical names.

formicaqueen Tue 09-Apr-13 23:03:16

wrote every name down we liked for months and then about 7 or 8 months pregnant we both marked each others lists and highlighted ones we liked. They sort of lived with the ones with liked, trying the names out on our baby. When he was 6 weeks it was quite clear what suited.

mummysbigsmiles Wed 10-Apr-13 00:01:35

I named my daughter Nevè. I had it picked from about 6 months pregnant. I just thought it was short & classy. It most certainly suits her. I love the name Ruby for a girl too.

mummysbigsmiles Wed 10-Apr-13 00:37:54

That was meant to be Neve

Lent1l Wed 10-Apr-13 11:30:36

I've had lists of names I liked in teh back of my diary for years. When it came to naming DD I sat down with my husband and showed him the list and he crossed out the ones he really didn't like and left the ones he did. I then went through a few websites and added a few more. We got it down to a shortlist and then did the same for middle names.

Don't be rushed - we took over a week after she was born before we decided as we wanted to be sure we liked the name. Trust us in the end to find a name that is really popular right now (even though it had been on my list for years), but we did go with a different spelling - Emelia - so that it could be shortened to Emmy. Of course she will spend her life correcting people when they spell it wrong, as we're already doing for her.

We also considered the initials to make sure they didn't spell out anything offensive. We did hear horror stories from several people (nurses and the registrar) about names they had encountered - Twin boys named Benson and Hedges, Jenny Taylor (say it quickly).

Happymum22 Wed 10-Apr-13 11:45:46

I personally absolutely love having a name which it is rare to find someone else with. Mine is something anyone can immediately pronounce and it isn't at all out there.

We drew up shortlists of just anything we liked, forgetting popularity or anything else, and then narrowed them down gradually thinking about our criteria. We found we naturally didn't like super popular names or 'out there' names and managed to get the balance with all our DC.

Also thought about our surname, wanted a different start letter and something which went well.

Used middle names for names we liked but decided they were too popular/out there/hard to say or spell.

Happymum22 Wed 10-Apr-13 11:46:54

Oh yes, middle names we also used family members names as it was a tradition in both our families.

MortifiedAdams Wed 10-Apr-13 11:48:22

I picked DDs name out of a book I loved as a child. In the year she was born, only 13 babies were given her name. So for the next baby Im.considering only looking at names given to 13 babies each year.

lovetomoan Wed 10-Apr-13 12:02:38

Just don't name it after the place where you conceived them i.e. Paris, Brooklyn, etc. grin

Imagine yourself shouting their names in the supermarket like someone said smile

FreedomOfTheTess Wed 10-Apr-13 12:05:26

Naming DS1 was easy for me, as I was a teenage single mum when I had him, so had no-one else to negotiate with (as his father has never been in the picture). I had said from the first day, a boy would be named Jack after my grandfather, and that is what I named him. (Jack was also my other grandfather's middle name, so it actually managed to honour them both).

When pregnant with DS2, I found it difficult to adjust to having to negotiate with another person over the name, but thankfully DH and I are on the same page when it comes to names.

Anyway, what we did for DS2 is we each made a list of 40 names we liked (20 for each gender), and any duplicates were automatically moved to the 'consideration list'. If my memory serves me right, I think we both liked the same seven boy's names and six girl's names.

With the remaining names, we each had ten vetoes (five for each gender), so with no arguments we automatically struck ten names of the other's lists.

Then we discussed the remaining names, until we could reach agreement on what names to move over to the 'consideration list', given that we only wanted ten names per gender on the list. We got there eventually!

After that, we individually ranked both lists, and we had both placed Alexander as our top boy's name and thus that was the boy's name we chose and what DS2 ended up being named!

We kept the lists for next time, and both of us had listed Sarah as our top girl's name, and we both still loved when we had our third child (DD), so she was named Sarah. No debate needed there.

I'm now pregnant with our fourth (and last) child, who appears to be female in flavour (!), and we're really struggling with a girl's name this time. We both like the same names, but none of them feel right at the moment, and we might just wait until she arrives and see what she suits. If I'm honest, part of me is hoping the sonographer was wrong and that bump is a boy, as we're sorted for a boy (Samuel - the name both of us had ranked second on the list we made for DD2 almost seven years ago).

Fillyjonk75 Wed 10-Apr-13 12:22:32

DH bought me a baby names dictionary, I looked online as well at the meaning of names, thought about family names and what might be meaningful to us, came up with a shortlist of first and middle names. I also thought about people who had those names already and whether it was a positive association. But DH would not discuss until after DDs were born each time, after they were born he picked the names from my short list!

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