Baby name AIBU(28 Posts)
It turns out that I have nothing to worry about, but i have been pondering what might have been and wondered what others thought re: the etiquette involved in this particular situation.
DP and I are expecting our first baby at the end of the month. We chose not to find out the sex and so have been having fun coming up with girls and boys names. BIL and SIL announced they are having their 2nd DC a few months after us. With their first they found out the sex and the baby had a name pretty much as soon as they had their 2nd scan. Their choice. I knew they would want to find out the sex of their 2nd baby, but was kind of hoping they would not name the baby before we had ours, but of course knew it was a possibility they would given previous form. So I've been waiting to find out and lo and behold they have already chosen and publicly announced the name. Thankfully it is not a name that is to our taste so there is actually nothing to worry about. I just wondered what people thought about the etiquette in this situation - should they have had the good grace to wait and let us name our child first given that our child will be born first, or is it their prerogative to pick and announce a name ahead of ours? As I said it is kind of irrelevant because their chosen name is not on our list, but I can't help but wonder how I would feel if they had picked our favourite.
I'd be a bit annoyed if they announced the name and it was the one I was absolutely in love and just hadn't announced for various reasons, but I think even in that case no one could blame them for anything and I'd just have to get over it.
I've heard of this happening, but tbh I've only ever known one person to announce their name outright (2 if you count her friend, who as far as I though didn't actually use that name in the end). In my experience people generally say 'Oh, we were thinking of X or Y but we can't/haven't yet decided between them'. I think it's best to keep the name to yourself or to at least have some ambiguity until the last few weeks, if only because you very well may change your mind before then.
We were in this situation with our first DC, BIL and SIL found out they were expecting after us and found out they were having a DS and "named" him straight away (shortly before I gave birth), it was a name on our shortlist (we wanted a surprise) and I was a bit miffed that we couldn't really have used it if we had wanted to, luckily we had a DD so it worked out ok! But just wanted to say that I get your point OP and don't think YABU!
I undertand what you're saying OP, though perhaps it is a bit U!
One of my friends was due after me, but found out the sex and used her little girl's name when referring to her. At the time, it felt almost like she'd jumped the queue and 'met' her baby before we met ours. I blame hormones.
One thing was, when friend's baby was born, everyone was relieved name had arrived safely and it was more of a 'phew' moment, whereas DS was more of a 'surprise' because nobody knew anything about him, which is something you'll have to look forward to I suppose.
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