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Is it acceptable to use the same name as my cousin- bear with me, I know it's been done before!

(34 Posts)
jumpinghoops Wed 13-Mar-13 21:43:11

So- I have actually only just realised that my cousin's 18 month old son is named Edward as they've called him by his middle name since birth, I've never even heard them use Edward in reference to him (in photos or person)! However, I've just happened upon a photo album that lists his full name.

I really love Edward James for our soon to born son- do you think it's acceptable for me to ask my cousin if he minds us using it? We're not a close family but probably catch up maybe 3 or 4 times a year.

TobyLerone Wed 13-Mar-13 21:52:04

My cousin has a DS with the same name as mine, and she never even asked! So I think it would be fine to ask your cousin. As long as you'll be fine if he says no.

QOD Wed 13-Mar-13 22:16:57

My dd has the same name as DHs cousins dd.

pissed me off big time because we came SECOND and I didn't know his cousin existed, crap family contact, resolved thru the wonders of Facebook and found out that they have the same name.
Dh family have a hideous history of sharing names, think big Dave, little Dave and a sibling group called the equivalent of

But if you knowingly do it, well, meh, it's not like they even use the first name

birdofthenorth Wed 13-Mar-13 23:31:12

If they don't use the first name it won 't cause confusion for mutual relatives (or any offence, hopefully). Edward is a lovely and not unusual name- it wouldn't be like having two baby Herberts or Xaviers in a family, for example.

poppydaisy Thu 14-Mar-13 14:39:00

Is there really NO other name you love? To me, the whole point of naming someone/something is to IDENTIFY them, so calling your son the same name as his 18 month older nephew is a little unimaginative imo. Why not have another look and see if you can find a name that can be your son's name - that people will identify with him.

BananaramaLlama Thu 14-Mar-13 14:58:44

My cousin chose the same name for her dd as my dd2, hers is about 3 years younger. Doesn't bother me at all, tbh, there will always be someone with the same name.

jumpinghoops Thu 14-Mar-13 16:02:08

Right, thank you all v much for your feedback. I will talk to him. I do get the originality aspect ie. choosing a name that identifies him as his name. I thought this name was Edward!! I know it's quite a common name but not one that I know any family and friends have used (until I stumbled across this).

I feel quite sad that we couldn't use it but accept that he got in there first as it were and I'd hate to upset him or his wife.

I don't suppose anyone fancies helping me out with alternative suggestions? Maybe I should start another thread. I am going mad trying to find a name we both like and it's making me sad, I was so happy to 'find' Edward as our name.

I have a DD called Martha, here are the ones we've considered but discounted for various reasons: (middle name would be James)

Frank/Franklin (still a possibility)
Ianto (partner is Welsh)
Benjamin (love but doesn't work with surname)

My partner is into good solid, non-trendy names. Help me please! Should I start another thread?!

TeamEdward Thu 14-Mar-13 16:05:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HorryIsUpduffed Thu 14-Mar-13 16:09:50

I have the same name as my second cousin - ie my dad and his cousin gave their daughters the same name within months.

It has literally never caused the two of us any bother, although when we are both in a room (less often nowadays) we are known by firstname middle name eg Horry Margaret and Horry Jane.

Edward James is lovely.

AntsMarching Thu 14-Mar-13 16:15:39

TeamEdward my DH is a Dewi smile

Jumping I would use Edward if that's what you love. I know it's the cousin's name, but it isn't the name he uses everyday. If you decide not to use Edward, you could go for Emlyn. That would have been our boy name if we'd managed to make a boy. Dd1 & Dd2 were most unobliging smile

UsedToBeAPixie Thu 14-Mar-13 16:22:13

Edwards James is lovely, and I'm sure that if your cousin doesn't even use the first name it will be fine!
If you get a big fat no however, I have a bias towards Noah James as that is my DS name wink
I do love your list though, it reads like mine!

Laquila Thu 14-Mar-13 16:45:05

I would go ahead and use Edward if you love it, particulalry given that they use their son's middle name. Alternatively, do you like Edwin or Edmund?

You do have some lovely names on your long list, though, so it sounds like you'll find something that's perfect for your son, even if it's not Edward.

jumpinghoops Thu 14-Mar-13 17:05:17

OK, thank you all ever so much for bearing with me. I never got name angst with my daughter!

My cousin is a reasonable guy- I'll see what he says but accept his point of view and move on if necessary. The thing is, in my head, his son isn't an Edward and the day-day name they call him is Turkish (he has a Turkish mum). I see him as that name if that makes sense- it's about as far from Edward as you can get!!

Ianto was our favourite Welsh name- but sadly it's the name of my partner's uncle's dog!! I do love Noah too, and when I was a teacher I taught a lovely little Noah. Alas, my OH's not having it. Frankly, almost every name on that list I've come up with and he's turned down. He's the one making this so bloody tricky grin

jumpinghoops Thu 14-Mar-13 17:07:04

Just to add, have thought about Edwin and Edmund, neither feel quite the same to me- but a possibility to discuss for sure.

ZolaBuddleia Thu 14-Mar-13 17:10:05

I think you'd be perfectly justified in using it, given the circumstances, but will it worry you afterwards?

On the other hand, I prefer these to Edward...

Idris (love also, but makes me think Elba)

NaturalBlondeYeahRight Thu 14-Mar-13 17:10:30

I didn't use my favourite name because a cousin has it. Used it as a middle name instead. Although I love the name i picked, we only see them onece a year or so now and wish I had just used my first choice.

poppydaisy Fri 15-Mar-13 20:48:52

Ianto is a great name - strong, cool and rarely used. Much more interesting than Edward imo!

soontobeslendergirl Sat 16-Mar-13 00:42:00

I don't think it matters if it's the same tbh - even if they did use Edward as a first name.

All 4 of my brothers and 1 of my sisters names were all used by my mothers and fathers younger siblings for their children (1 of my brothers was used on both sides!) - there is only me and my sister who are "unique" However, none of the names are particularly rare and in two families the boys were named after their Dad's rather than my brothers.

I like Edward - I prefer Edgar though, it's a little bit different.

Similar names to your list:

Jonah (Joe)

SconeRhymesWithGone Sat 16-Mar-13 00:53:47

My brother's DD has the same name as my DD. No problem at all.

soontobeslendergirl Sat 16-Mar-13 10:10:23

Oh, and I have a cousin who's sons name is the same as my son, we weren't in touch so I didn't know until my. Son was already named. Her daughter is called the name we had chosen for a girl and if our second child had been a girl, I would still have used it. They would have different surnames.

SavoyCabbage Sat 16-Mar-13 10:19:40

I've got the same name as my cousin. It's never been an issue, nor have there ever been any mix-ups either comical or tragic.

I'm six months older and apparently my mam was told that they had been thinking of using the same name until I was born and she (my mother) was aghast that they should not get to have the name they wanted for their baby and told them they should have it too if they wanted it.

MrsLyman Sat 16-Mar-13 10:27:08

As you have a welsh connection, what about Edryd?

RantyMcRantpants Sat 16-Mar-13 10:30:38

Ianto is gorgeous much nicer then Edward. I'm on Team Ianto.

thegreylady Sat 16-Mar-13 17:22:30

Edward is a gorgeous name-my 4 year old dgs is an Edward so for me the name means a beautiful,bright mischievous little boy whose cuddles are second to none.[He is Edward Jake]

jumpinghoops Sat 16-Mar-13 18:04:00

Hmmm, all very helpful thank you. I like Edgar.

I do really like Ianto, my partner is just adamant that we can't name our baby the same name as his uncle's dog! (he is a lovely dog though grin)

thegreylady- yes, yes, I want my son to be just as you describe! You have made me love Edward a little bit more smile

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