Do you think if you really are something you don't need to prove it by name choice?(77 Posts)
I have a really edgy, creative friend who is also married to a very quirky artistic guy. Their kids are called Edward (after his grandfather), Laura and Hugo.
I also know another couple - she is a designer, he is a composer - and their dd is called Alice.
All lovely names but quite ordinary.
On the other hand I know people who are not particularly arty but have bent over backwards to find 'creative' or 'different' names for their DC.
I was just wondering if people sometimes try to compensate for something they lack but would like to have when choosing their DCs names??
I think you may be onto something OP. I am a bit of a pushover, so I called DS Alexander as I hope that he will conquer a vast swathe of Asia Minor and make me, his mum, empress. I have always wanted to be Queen if the World, but know I don't have the necessary cut throat manner or militarily strategic brain.
Alexander is his middle name though as I thought it would be good to keep
my his plans for world domination secret until it comes time for him to unleash his might and get me an empire.
"I am not sure I agree that everyone simply gives their child the name they love though. I think here are people out there who try very hard to give their child an unusual name that makes them stand out. Then there are people who like an array of names but shortlist the less common names to avoid the '10 children in the class called that' and then there are people who have always loved a certain name, and it just happens to be more unusual."
But those ARE all reasons for liking of disliking a name. There are names that I have always liked but if they become overused they lose some of their beauty as well as purpose of identification.
I don't think I agree with your conclusion as there are plenty of artsy types who do give their children very unusual names.
I am not sure I agree that everyone simply gives their child the name they love though. I think here are people out there who try very hard to give their child an unusual name that makes them stand out. Then there are people who like an array of names but shortlist the less common names to avoid the '10 children in the class called that' and then there are people who have always loved a certain name, and it just happens to be more unusual.
And then there are people (hmmm, I may or may not be pointing at me ) who ended up with a top 10 name because it was their first baby and they did not know it was becoming popular and it is the only name their DH (who was never going to agree to an unusual name) and they could agree on. These people get a little bit tired of hearing the '5 children with the same name in the class' line because their top 10 named child is the only one in their year group of 90 and they rarely hear anyone else called it. But they realise they have to be thankful that parents do now give children such varied names because it means the top ten names are shared with thousands of fewer babies, than top 10 names a few decades ago.
Nope. Tonedelay nothing to do with chavs.
By the way what context did I use it in on another thread?
In other words, I think you may be reading too much into peoples' name choices!
In response to the op, yes I agree that 'if you really are something you don't need to prove it by name choice'
But, conversly, I don't believe that those who do choose a less widely used name 'are trying to prove something', which is what I think seems to be implied.
I gave my dc unusual/uncommon names because I'm v boring and wish I was much more cool and interesting.
Poppydaisy just to clarify: I didn't day finding names dull
/unimaginative meant that people thought the parents (and by extension the child perhaps) were dull and unimaginative. I said that I have read many posts where people have SAID they would consider the parents to be dull and unimaginative.
MrsDeVere I'm happy to take your word on the trend being the other way as I haven't been on MN long enough to form a proper judgement. My daughter has an unusual (though not creative I don't think) name which would probably be subject to try-hard type comments as I have seen names in a similar vein described as "pretentious." It seems like you can't win!
Atthewelles It was the Cat In The Hairnet's comment combined with your use of the word 'something' which you now clarified. in hindsight may be I was seeing more than is there.
However as you have used the words Chav on another thread i suspect that I am not that far from the truth.
Where are you picking that up Tondelay. I haven't seen anyone say anything like that.
comeonbishbosh I think you've misinterpreted what I meant when I said 'something'. I didn't mean it as 'something important'. I meant it as an abstract 'something' ie some people like to be considered creative, some people like to be considered organised, some people like to be considered unusual or whatever.
i think there's an element of snobbery and 'know your place' on this thread.
How very dare people who live on a Barrett estate call their child Tristram? HOW DARE THEY?
Don't you know that if you live in social housing you can only use names that rhyme with 'aden' for a boy and hyphenated names for a girl? If you have a degree you are permitted to use Olivia and Oliver. If you own Berkshire or went to St Martin's you then can have free rein but you will probably choose Mary or John as you have nothing to prove.
I think people choose names for all different sorts of reasons and it's quite possible some people choose names to reflect who they'd like to be.
I think if you read these name threads it is quite clear that not everyone chooses a name on the basis of 'we like it'.
Some people follow a tradition of naming the child after a relative e.g. the father. So the child is named 'John IV' not because his parent really liked the name John, but simply because that's the tradition. There was a thread a couple of weeks ago where the OP was planning on naming the child after her father, but was trying to think of a good middle name as she didn't like her father's name and wasn't planning to actually use it.
The 'I really love Amelie, but is it too popular?' threads are common too.
Then there is the 'We'd planned to call DD Sally, but now SIL/cousin/friend/neighbour has used it, so we can't use it'.
Even if you're choosing a name just because you like it, there are about a million different reasons why you came to like that name in the first place. I think it's quite possible that people come to like a name because it represents who they wanted to be e.g. Dave in HR who has kids called Jagger and Bowie.
I note the way that the OP titles someone 'who really is something' as someone creative /edgy. And implies that if you are not creative / edgy it's something you lack. Whole load of assumptions there.
For the record, I do what many people would consider a much more 'creative' job than my DH. But, you know what, he really is a something, much more than me. Reader, I married him.
So, before you get all hoity about judging people for the choice of names of their DC, maybe check out if you're not judging people full stop.
What mrsdevere said.
We chose names we likes and that we agreed on!
My kids names have had a mix of reactions on mnet dd's name us generalky liked. Ds3 has a 'naughty boy' name and ds4 has a 'gangsta' name
nickel - come back in 5 years time with evidence your Grace is actually graceful and I will apologise unreservedly
They were probably all in the library TheCat, while you were in the
I think you have a point OP.
And since reading MN, I had no idea there were so many incredibly posh parents-to-be who had studied Classics living in the UK. They must have all been hiding when we lived there.
Eskino - oy!
that actually is the name we've chosen for our next DD (if we have one)
'tis MIL's proper first name.
I think I'm going to call my next one Graphene because that was lacking when I did my degree (fuckers - if I'd done my degree 10 years later, I could have been one of those "oh, I was at Manchester when they discovered graphene, you know! It was in my department" )
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.