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Opinions on double barreled surnames please.

(31 Posts)
honeytea Sun 09-Dec-12 20:15:07

I am having a wobble, I am 40+1 weeks pregnant and we are 98% decided on our baby's name.

We had decided to give the baby y DP's surname which is S v a n b e r g (sorry about the funny spacing I don't want google to bring up this post) It is a Swedish name and is pronounced svan-berry it means swan mountain.

My surname is B o s w o o d and we are not married so I would not share a name with my baby.

Today I have been feeling sad that I am about to give birth to a baby that won't have my name, the baby obviously will be half of me and half of my DP but I have grown him and will give birth to him and it feels unfair that just because of tradition the baby will get my DP's name.

We have thought about the advantages of both names, we live in Sweden and unfortunatly being Swedish is seen as a good thing, there is still some discrimination against people who are not Swedish. My DP's name will probably give DS an advantage when it comes to job applications. My name would be rare in Sweden so he would be easilly identifiable.

When I travel alone with DS I will have nothing in common with him, I have a UK passport and he will have a Swedish passport, I won't have any way of proving we are related (they don't do birth certificates here.)

Another issue is that they are very strict with names in Sweden, you are not allowed to have double barreled names unless you can prove cultural reasons. So 2 Swedish people can not give their child a double name but a Spanish person living in Sweden could give a double name, I think I could say it was culturally relavant as most of my family have double names I only don't because my father was rubbish and didn't deserve to give me his name

The final issue is that my surname will not be on the official list, you need to apply to the tax office to get the name approved. I don't think they would refuse the name but it would be a hassel.

I'd love to hear opinions, do you or your DC have double names? is it worth the hassel?

Thank you sorry about the essay! I hope it is just late pregnancy hormones making me worry!

exoticfruits Sun 09-Dec-12 22:48:24

Just do what suits you as a couple.

Leafmould Sun 09-Dec-12 23:14:36

I have a different surname to my kids. I regularly get asked what my relationship is with them at immigration, on entry to the uk. I tell them they are my kids, and they give me a leaflet recommending that I travel with their birth certificate, as that names both parents. This is why I asked upthread if the Swedish passport/ ID card has parents named on it like some eu documentation does. This would resolve that problem.

honeytea Sun 09-Dec-12 23:24:13

I am not sure about Swedish kids passports, the adult passports don't have the parent's name on them but the kids ones might be different.

I travelled with my sister and cousin (both children) who both have my surname + an extra name, it was no problem when I went through passport control with them but my DP tried to go through passport control with my cousin and they were very unsure if he should be taking a child through, they called me over (I was at another passport control station with my sister.)

exoticfruits Mon 10-Dec-12 07:31:31

I have travelled lots with just me and my DS with a different name and never been asked once.

puddock Mon 10-Dec-12 07:48:21

I know a couple of Swedish/English couples living in Stockholm, the kids have the English surname with no mention that this might bring disadvantages... don't know the ins and outs of documentation rules though.
My children have two surnames, mine then DP's (no hyphen). It's caused no problems and I'm glad they have my name. If they find it too long or unusual and choose to use one or the other when they're older, that'd be fine.
I think in your position I might have your surname as a middle name - no rule against having more than one of those?

puddock Mon 10-Dec-12 07:50:19

Oh yes, I also know friends who don't share a surname and who gave their DC a different surname to either of them. They live in another EU country and found it useful to have some sort of official document attached in all of their passports confirming their parental responsibiliy. Is something like that an option in Sweden?

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