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If you decided on an unusual name did you every regret it?

(92 Posts)
Brugmansia Tue 13-Nov-12 08:27:22

DP and I are currently deciding on names and the ones we like are all on the less-used/unusual end of the scale, particularly the boys short-list.

We really like them and they're also the only ones we can agree on, and in general I feel we should just go with what we like. There's a bit of me niggling away though that's worried about both other people's reactions and whether it could be a bit of a burden for DC in the future.

Just wondering on other people's thoughts who've chosen unusual names for their children.

InSPsFanjoNoOneHearsYouScream Tue 13-Nov-12 12:28:39

My son has an uncommon name. I dont regret it.

It's a name we liked so he got it. It's similiar to callum.

seeker Tue 13-Nov-12 12:32:46

I am always amused that people justify really "out there" names by saying it's the only way to avoid being one of 4 in a class. I have a Patrick and he has only just, now he's in year 7 met another one anywhere near his age. His friend John has met grown ups and a baby, but no other child. I could come up with 10 perfectly ordinary names which I could pretty much guarantee would make them the only ones in the class.

sonniboo Tue 13-Nov-12 12:34:15

ANY name can be teased. Will becomes Willy, Ellie becomes Smellie, Gabriel becomes Gayboy etc etc. But in my opinion a child is rarely teased because of his/her names - kids are pretty accepting of different names. Children are teased due to their character and the teaser WILL find something to tease regardless of name.

In other words, I would not worry so much about teasing potential in regards to names. I would choose a name you love, that sound good with your surname and that, ideally, isn't already used by thousands of others!

InSPsFanjoNoOneHearsYouScream Tue 13-Nov-12 12:35:51

My name is a common name that rhymes with jelly, belly, smelly etc.

Doesn't matter what you name a child there will be a way of using it to tease.

MordionAgenos Tue 13-Nov-12 12:43:52

Patrick isn't a usual name these days though, even among my lot (Catholics) grin My DS has a solid bible name and he was one of 5 in his year at primary school, 3 in his actual class, and more than 10 in the school as a whole. It was fine. It's one of those names capable of lots of different short-forms and the boys all found their preferred option. At secondary school, there are two in his tutor group and again, many more in the year (including the other 4 from the primary school). He's fine with it. His name really suits him.He wouldn't like an unusual name like his sisters have.

I know about 10 Davids. All of them through work. None of them mind having what was clearly a pretty usual name 45-50 years ago. grin

rachel234 Tue 13-Nov-12 12:48:04

I know about 10 Steves and 15 Andys and, whilst they may not mind, I do. It gets confusing and annyong to have to add a surname or other modifier.

Also, depending on what area you work in, it can be handy to be found/identified easily (e.g. on the internet), which is going to be hard if you are one of 1000s Steve Joneses or Andy Smiths.

Our ds has an unusual name (used about 15 times last year) and he and us love it!

seeker Tue 13-Nov-12 12:48:24

As I said earlier I don't think children are teased much for their names, unless they are something no sensible person would choose- Roger, or Willy or Minnie or Fanny or something. It's just that it's, as my step nephew said ( as he changed his name to Tom!) really tiring to have to keep explaining.

HecatePropylaea Tue 13-Nov-12 12:50:05

Nope. My children have got very unusual names and I love them. Many people have never heard of them before. They go nicely with our lovely forrin grin surname.

Startail Tue 13-Nov-12 12:52:32

The main problem with unusual names is absolutely everyone who overhears knows who you are talking about.

Both DDs have lovely friends with very memorable names, so the most innocent things cant be discussed in public because of the chance that someone will know them in our small town.

rachel234 Tue 13-Nov-12 12:59:46

"The main problem with unusual names is absolutely everyone who overhears knows who you are talking about."

Isn't that excactly the purpose of a name - to IDENTIFY a person!

Brugmansia Tue 13-Nov-12 13:05:29

Hello squealy

I'm not deliberately looking for an unusual or little used name or concerned about the child being the only one. I think fundamentally I don't like most male names enough to consider using them.

I'm not particularly worried about teasing - London is so diverse there's bound to be a huge range of names among their contemporaries. It's probably other adults' reactions that bother me more.

tammytoby Tue 13-Nov-12 13:08:10

I have an unusual name and have always loved being the only one with it at school, at work and amongst my friends. It is a beautiful, classic but rare name and it also doesn't 'date' me as it was never trendy.

I agree that the purpose of giving our children a name is so that they can be identified (ideally without adding an initial or other adjective!).

Startail, are you being ironic? Would you rather we all be called similar names so that no-one would know whe you're talking about grin?!

SquealyB Tue 13-Nov-12 13:17:02

Thing is, other people will have an opinion on everything aspect of your child rearing from naming, to feeding, to schooling etc. If it is right for you and DP (sounds like it is) then you should call your DCs what you want to. London is very diverse for names and there are very few names that would be roundly criticised but no doubt everyone will have an opinion.

The good (ish) news is that if you don't tell anyone pre-birth when you introduce the baby most people (usually with the exception of family wink)will be too polite to be critical even if they don't like your name choice. AND hilst they may say something behind your back they are unlikley to say it to your face.

The only person you will really need to "justify" it to is DC themselves.

InSPsFanjoNoOneHearsYouScream Tue 13-Nov-12 13:17:13

I want to know all these unusual names now grin

HecatePropylaea Tue 13-Nov-12 13:20:21

PMed you.

shhhhh. Sworn to secrecy grin

lljkk Tue 13-Nov-12 13:23:40

Unless it's an outright bizarre name, You should stop caring what other people think. Go with what you love.

DS2 is Tristan. It gets spelled wrong often or confused with Tristram. He gets called Dustin, Justin, Christian, Kris. He had speech delay & couldn't say his own name properly for long time. Like most unusual names, it doesn't have as nice NNs as the common choices.

DS2 has quite a... er, colourful personality, so stands out in a crowd anyway.

So sometimes I wish I had just called him Steve or Oliver.

DS3 has arguably the most common boy name of the last 60 years.

surfingbabies Tue 13-Nov-12 13:36:28

My sister and I have unusual names, my 3 DCs have names I've never heard of and I've never regretted any of them.......I still love them today and they are 11 and 8 yr old twins. They all suit their names and get complimented on them, some people chose to be rude but I have to say not DP sister was a little rude about them but I don't like her boys names as they are common and wouldnt suit my family so I don't really care what she thinks! If I'm honest people have opinions on absolutely everything, my DS gets nagged all the time by his elders for having long hair but in school he's cool so as long as he's happy then I'm happy!! We are expecting number 4 soon and we have picked a very unusual name that we've never heard of before smile
As long as your happy with it then go with it, if you care what people think then go for something common otherwise you'll never be able to settle with it! Good luck smile

rempy Tue 13-Nov-12 13:38:23

I think the thing that really requires thought is can the name carry to adulthood? It's less of a problem with boys names, but lots of girls names are "cute" for a baby, or girl, but will sound really childish as they age - pixie, tilly, trixie, etc etc. And whilst the child may be happy to constantly challenge expectations, I would raise an eyebrow if I was allocated a defence lawyer called daisy-doo-da (although I have an unusual name, and try to remain concious that it is a reflection of my parents tastes, not mine!)

Given that you are trying to find an unusual name suggests that the name will not be that unusual in the group you socialise with.

Read Freakonomics about naming phenomenons, the filtering down of names from higher to lower socio-economic groups, and the perception of names on acheivement. Interesting.

And search for the boy called Bear on here, if you want a warning about judgy-pants opinions about childrens names. Yes. Bear. That's on his birth certificate.

CinnabarRed Tue 13-Nov-12 13:40:04

My very best friend at primary school was called Phaedra. We were thick as thieves until sent to different secondary schools. I often wonder what happened to her.

surfingbabies Tue 13-Nov-12 13:41:13

It's also very handy as when they are being told off or talked about we know its them! Also putting their names in things, they never get mixed up with others! When my eldest started big school her friends tried to shorten her name and she said she preferred to be called by her full name so she must like it, she is shy and quiet too so you'd think having an unusual name would haunt her but it doesn't!

Brugmansia Tue 13-Nov-12 13:42:04

My mum will probably comment. She was probing about names the other week and then telling anecdotes about her friends who thought their grandchildren's names were too outlandish.

When she was pregnant with my sister though they changed their mind about using a name they liked if they'd had a boy because of my aunt's comments. The name in question was unusual at the time but had become pretty popular now though.

SquealyB Tue 13-Nov-12 13:56:57

Also a word of warning on compromising........

I was originally Helen on my birth cert. as my mum listened to other people's comments on calling me something unsual (which was in fact is her maiden name). Fast forward two months and she has me at home is is only calling me by unusual name and has come to hate Helen (sorry any Helens/people with DDs named Helen) so had to go and plead to be allowed to put it on my birth certificate. They conceeded but only allowed her to put it in front of existing name without changing paperwork, so I now have an unusal first name and EXTRA long name as I now have three middle names grin.

This is a heart over head issue and perhaps your mum won't love your name choice but she will get used to it.

surfingbabies Tue 13-Nov-12 14:12:31

I like the name Bear smile

Chandon Tue 13-Nov-12 14:20:46

if you care about what other people think a lot, then CHOOSE a name that other people like a lot.

If you don't care, then you are free to do what you want.

seeker Tue 13-Nov-12 14:22:22

But do remember that you are naming an unconsenting adult.

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