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middle names, too many, awkward circumstance, lots of advice wanted.

(29 Posts)
StateofConfusion Fri 02-Nov-12 20:16:06

After an absolute nightmare choosing any boys names at all, we'd got a top runner.

Noah Alexander James.

Thing is dps Grandad who he was very close to growing up, o nly not so much now as since having our ds we live quite far apart. Anyway he was diagnosed with terminal cancer a few weeks ago, and only has weeks left he is very sick. Dp is understandably distraught and wants to honour his Grandad in some way.

Now despite --fecking HATING- not being hugely keen on his Gds name he has no middle names I feel this is one battle not worth having But the middle names we have already are of great sentimental meaning to Me and dp, me more so I guess. And we don't want to drop either.

So now dp is proposing Noah Alexander Barry James.

I just can't get over 3 middle names being excessive but given the circumstances I kind of think well who cares! Our ds and dds middle names aren't used they're just on birth certificates, so our 3rd (and final) dc it would be the same.

So, wwyd?

RancerDoo Fri 02-Nov-12 20:18:27

I'd do it. Who says three middle names is too many?? And noone will notice Barry amid that lot.

jaffacakehips Fri 02-Nov-12 20:19:09

Love love!

It's a lovely name, go or it grin

MikeLitoris Fri 02-Nov-12 20:20:32

I would put up with it if it meant that much to dp. put the barry last though.

My nephew has 3 middle names and a double barrelled surname shock

Sleepingbunnies Fri 02-Nov-12 20:20:33

Do it!

My daughters have 2 middle names each. My pfb was named after my mum and stepmum. I would do it!

jaffacakehips Fri 02-Nov-12 20:21:20

blush hmm missed the Barry bit.

Stand your ground!

Good luck

LittleBearPad Fri 02-Nov-12 20:21:56

Can I ask what your surname starts with. I'd be tempted to make Barry the last name myself. It's not a cracking name but in the circs I'd go for it

Coconutty Fri 02-Nov-12 20:22:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleBearPad Fri 02-Nov-12 20:23:15

Sorry the Noah Alexander and James are lovely. Barry isn't so cracking but in the circs go for it

LulaPalooza Fri 02-Nov-12 20:23:54

Noah Alexander James Barry sounds better.

He can always drop the Barry when he gets older anyway! My Mum has two middle names and she dropped the third as soon as she hit 18.

Onesliceortwo Fri 02-Nov-12 20:27:46

Nice idea, but can see where you're coming from. How about Barrington? It's a longer version but fits better maybe with the other names - Noah Alexander Barrington James ..... just a thought! Good luck!

WhatWouldWitchesDo Fri 02-Nov-12 20:43:32

Could you not use the grandfather's surname as a middle name?

StateofConfusion Fri 02-Nov-12 21:48:40

I prefer Noah Alexander James Barry, will suggest it to him.

What the surname really wouldn't work with our surname at all, and would stand out a lot in the name.

little our surname rhymes with cambell (as in the soup) if that helps.

Under normal circumstances I'd say no as its not my kind of name at all, but dps Grandad means a lot to him, they ran a building company for several years together from dp leaving school and he lived with his grandparents for a while, and if its a girl the first name will be my Grandmas name who was also taken by terminal cancer, so i feel its only fair.

Thank you for all the replies. smile

QOD Fri 02-Nov-12 21:52:28

Barry always seems like a part name!
My friend in the states is married to a Barry, when he introduced himself she made a tit out of herself by asking what it was short for, she'd never heard of it before!

WhatWouldWitchesDo Fri 02-Nov-12 21:58:19

What about Bear? smile

Noah Alexander James Bear Surname.

WhatWouldWitchesDo Fri 02-Nov-12 21:59:55

I agree, QOD, it's like it should be short for something the way Gary is for Gareth, Larry for Lawrence.

doctordwt Fri 02-Nov-12 22:05:23

Yes it should be short for something shouldn't it - I've known a Barry who got called Barrold, and another one who got Baurence!

Maryz Fri 02-Nov-12 22:05:30

Barry is short for Finbar here (Ireland).

Are both your other middle names equally important, or could you keep one for (dare I say it) you second son?

I suggest keeping Alexander, as you could use Alexandra as a middle name for a daughter as well, so leaving you will Noah James Barry, which is just a bit less of a mouthful.

StateofConfusion Fri 02-Nov-12 23:59:35

This is our 3rd and final (due next month), if it pops out a girl the boy names will never be used.

When I weigh the other names up against the tribute to a dying relation, we will be very lucky is he meets this baby, they don't seem as important but in the long run they really are, especially as this is my last chance to use them.

It has to be Barry really, as his Grandads never used nicknames or alternatives etc.

echidnakid Sat 03-Nov-12 03:26:43

I think use it but put Barry in the last slot so it sounds like a surname! It truly is an awful name isn't it?! As I was reading I was thinking "how bad can it be?" And then you said Barry. I totally get your reluctance to use it!

But it's a lovely thing you're doing and you'll be able to tell Grandad that he has been honoured in this way and make him so happy. In the last position the name will hardly ever come up but it's there and that's all that matters.

Really like your other names smile

missymoomoomee Sat 03-Nov-12 03:37:56

I have 3 (quite long) middle names. Its no big deal really, apart from filling in forms smile. In all honesty I would swap them around a bit, with my kids I've always looked at what they could be picked on in relation to their names and A B J isn't a good combination of letters to have for middle names unless you accidently leave the last one off the forms when registering him at school

EdithWeston Sat 03-Nov-12 09:28:40

OP: you sound lovely.

Yes, Barry is a name with quite a different feel than the others, and yes it turns the name into very long one. But as you say, who cares?

But you've recognised that this matters so much to DH, and you know how emotional it will be to welcome a new life just as one is passing. Adding this name is such an important thing, you are right to agree.

EmpressOfTheSevenRomanCandles Sat 03-Nov-12 09:40:43

<waves to State>
DD has 3 middle names. She's very proud of her long name. I'd do it, it will make your DH's granddad so happy.

birdofthenorth Sat 03-Nov-12 09:49:57

Is James especially important to you too? I think it is a nautical name but it is a lot of boys' middle name so if it doesn't also have meaning/ family significance to you I would go with Noah Alexander Barry instead.

Barry is not that bad -I know a Barry in his thirties who has no bother with it- and it will give you little boy a nice connection to his great grandad (and I'm sure all DH's family will be touched).

Personally I think three middle names is getting silly, but I appreciate you're in a tricky situation.

StateofConfusion Sat 03-Nov-12 10:04:27

<Waves to empress>

James is my uncles middle name, my Dad left as soon as I was born and my uncle did all the Dad stuff with me and even now as an adult despite not seeing each other much he's only a phone call away whenever I need him. Its very important to me that I have a connection to him (his first name is on a par with Barry for awfulness so middle name is a good compromise) Alexander also has great meaning to us.

Think I'm just going to suck it up and have the 3 middle names, I can't bear to part with my original choices and this means so much to dp. My older Ds and dd have 2 middle names anyway.

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