I'm 36+ weeks with DD1 - we already have a 3.5 year old DS. We're pretty set on DD's name, although I'm now getting concerned as DD's initials will be the same as DS's (first, middle and surname). Is it silly to be concerned? Does it not matter at all? We do call DS by his (first, middle) initials sometimes as a nickname, so we'd obviously have to stop that. I keep thinking of them growing up, opening each other's post etc if it's just addressed to initial. initial. surname!
I'm being hormonally daft, aren't I? Or should we have a rethink?
I certainly wouldn't. Post is obviously important, but there's all the things you have when you are growing up with an initial on - from key rings to hankies! then, when you are putting name in their PE pumps, and when you are quickly jotting down an initial to keep a note of something..... there's loads of times in life you need to have your own initial in a family, even before you mentioned you already call your ds by his initials sometimes.
I think that you should give your dd the name you love best. If the initials match, it really doesn't matter.
They are unlikely to be living together for many of the years when they'll be getting important post, and how many bank statements and solicitors' letters come addressed to Q.R. Surname anyway?
And even if they did, in how many families is it really that big a deal to say "sorry, I opened your phone bill, thought it was mine." It might never come up, or it might cause the odd moment of fleeting confusion. It will never cause a real problem, so why let it be a consideration in something as important and permanent as your daughter's name?
I have the same initials as my Mom, and my brother has the same as my Dad (by coincidence, not a weird intentional thing). It never caused a single problem in any of our lives and I don't understand why the prevailing view on MN seems to be that it matters.
Also, with three years between your two, I think you're unlikely to mix their clothes or belongings up just because they're labelled with the same initials. If anything, it will be very handy for hand-me-downs!
I think it matters much less because you've got a boy and a girl, so letter will come to Mr/Miss, you're unlikely to mix up DS's school trousers with DD's school dress etc plus the age gap means it will be quite clear which clothes/shoes belong to which child.
I don't think you even need to stop calling your DS by his initials tbh. If DS is Tobias James nn TJ and DD will be Tamara Jane nn Tara, it's not a problem to have TJ and Tara.
I don't think it is an issue at all! I have never got any post with just my initials on it! And by the time they are old enough to receive important or private post they will more than likely be moved out of home!
"What's that sweetheart, how did we pick your name? Well, we thought long and hard for the most beautiful name we could both agree on. And we really wanted to name you Catherine, but instead you're Margaret because we didn't want anyone to be inconvenienced by having to write an extra letter or two when keeping score for Scrabble."