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cousins with the same name??

(108 Posts)
tidybooks Fri 21-Sep-12 14:50:32

we have 2 sons and ever since the first one we have always have our favourite girls name "in reserve" for a dd if one came along. Though we haven't actually discussed this with anyone.

Now we are expecting again with a month to go. Last week dbro wife gave birth to a little girl.. and gave her our name!!

Not sure what to do, think up a name from scratch.. or go with a variation of the same name, like Helen/Helena, or Diane/Diana. We love the variation so it would still be our first choice name iyswim.

Please give me your views, tia smile

PicklesThePottyMouthedParrot Fri 21-Sep-12 14:52:32

I would think it would be out of order to have the same or remarkably similar names. It would be weird.

There must be others you like?

cakebar Fri 21-Sep-12 14:52:40

You just can't give the grandparents two grandchildren with the same name, it is ridiculous. They got there first, so sad for you.

Do you know you are having a girl?

BackforGood Fri 21-Sep-12 14:54:20

It's really not a good idea.
Start again and find another lovely name to give her.

LouMacca Fri 21-Sep-12 14:56:19

This happened to us. Decided on our boys name and then SIL used it (yes she knew we wanted it). Anyway there was no way we could use the same name so picked the next on our list - she did us a favour really (although that's not what I said at the time!!) our DS would never have suited the other name.

Pick a new name smile

tidybooks Fri 21-Sep-12 14:56:48

It's not exactly the same name, but I know vvv similar.

No, we don't know for sure a girl.

There isn't really anything we like as much, frantically reading name books now. It's just so difficult as have first and middle names sorted and we thought they sounded so pretty together. Also surname a bit awkward so rules out a lot of names.

squoosh Fri 21-Sep-12 14:58:48

Find a new name. They got there first sadly.

There are lots of names, don't tell yourselves there's no other name you could possibly love as much.

bigbluebump Fri 21-Sep-12 14:58:53

The whole point of naming someone/something is to IDENTIFY them so naming two grandchildren the same/similar name is bonkers imo, sorry.

There are thousands of names out there - is there no other you love?

PicklesThePottyMouthedParrot Fri 21-Sep-12 14:59:21

Has to be a new name IMO.

What's the name can you tell and we can try and think of some alternatives?

PeazlyPops Fri 21-Sep-12 14:59:28

I have cousins with the same name, there is a year between them. It's not an issue for anyone, and it's easier for my gran as she gets everyones name wrong anyway!

PicklesThePottyMouthedParrot Fri 21-Sep-12 15:00:41

Personally though I would be fuming if my sister did it to me.

If you are going to do it you need to explain first and ask them if they mind.

squoosh Fri 21-Sep-12 15:02:29

It would be weird for the parents of the first baby. If I was them my face would be many shades of 'WTF???'

tidybooks Fri 21-Sep-12 15:02:45

It's Amelia/Amelie, so hardly unique.

I'm just feeling sad about having to start from scratch with a new name.. had been referring to future dd as this name for getting on for a decade!

Squigglywiggly Fri 21-Sep-12 15:03:09

This has just happened to us. My bro and sil have recently had a DS and used the name we would have done for our dc due in 4 weeks.

Neither knew each others name - so we always knew risk! A bit frustrating but we went back to thrash it out and now have a completely different name! As grandparents will probably only ever have 4 grandchildren it would be nice that they are all different!

tidybooks Fri 21-Sep-12 15:03:50

I just think if I go for something else everytime I hear my first choice I will feel a bit sad

tidybooks Fri 21-Sep-12 15:05:43

People always go on about how no one owns a name, do you think I could just say that to them if they are cross? Just trying to justify going ahead with original name, but feeling that I can't really do it..

dh would probably go along with what I want though.

tidybooks Fri 21-Sep-12 15:06:13

My dm know about what name I wanted so would understand.

squoosh Fri 21-Sep-12 15:08:55

Your daughter deserves her own special name.
Her cousin deserves her own special name.

You know what you need to do . . . .

Trawl these treads or get 1001 Baby Names down off the shelf.

iknowwho Fri 21-Sep-12 15:08:59

I have the same name as my cousin, my aunty AND my sister in law confusing eh?

I guess a big question is how often do you see them.
If they lived miles away and hardly see them - like my cousin did- it's not an issue.

GreenShadow Fri 21-Sep-12 15:09:15

When it's friends naming their DC the same I always think it's fine but cousins is different.

Probably best not to.

BonzoDooDah Fri 21-Sep-12 15:09:45

It's hard having two people with the same name in a close family.

DH's sister named her DS after my DH. So he and his nephew have the same, fairly uncommon, name. The trouble is that DH's parents live near his DS and are always looking after the DN. So when we see them here they and they are telling stories such as "X liked this and X did that" and we have to ask them which X it was - their SON sitting in front of them or their grandson a few hundred miles away.

OvO Fri 21-Sep-12 15:10:07

My sister talked about using my DS1's name for her DS2 (and my mum and other sister said it was fine to use it!) and I was totally angry about it. If she'd done it I would have held a grudge forever. Years from now, on her deathbed I'd have leant over and told her how much I loved her sob sob but p.s. I still haven't forgiven you for stealing my DS's name.

Don't do it, OP.

Sirzy Fri 21-Sep-12 15:11:53

If they have any sort of regular contact with each other it will soon get very confusing and will be very confusing for the rest of the family.

squoosh Fri 21-Sep-12 15:12:46

grin OvO. Love the lifelong grudge never to be quenched!

PedallingSquares Fri 21-Sep-12 15:14:36

I have two cousins with the same name and the younger one with that name has an elder sister who has the same name as her middle name.

My Aunt felt she couldn't use it for DD1 as it was already in use in the family so she used it as a middle. Then when she had DD2 she decided to just go for it.

It has never been a problem but they don't see one another very much

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