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If your pregnant friend asked you this....

(49 Posts)
Kirstle Tue 11-Oct-11 21:02:21

...bear in mind, not a best friend, but a friend you saw perhaps 6 times a year and emailed or facebooked everynow and then...

If they saw you for a coffee and then told you that a strong contender for their new baby's name was the name you had given your DC already....would it piss you off? Would you be grateful that they 'forewarned' you (for want of a better word)? Would you lie and say it was ok, when it really wasnt?
Would you think they were making mountains out of molehills?
Would it make any difference if you knew that that name was one your friend had always loved and didn't bat an eyelid at you using?

Thanks girls...

lockets Tue 11-Oct-11 21:03:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hellhasnofury Tue 11-Oct-11 21:04:13

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. Should it?

Deesus Tue 11-Oct-11 21:05:26

Think if it was someone I only saw about 6 times a year then I'd live with it and not really have too much of a problem. Is a bit annoying but no-one 'owns' names and if it's something your friend really loves then that's that really.

BelleEnd Tue 11-Oct-11 21:05:42

My friend did this, and she is a close friend. She said that it was a contender and I think it was to gauge my response more than anything. Said response was "of course you must use it if you want! It's really sweet that you want to!" and actually, that response was genuine. I think it's a bit silly to think you have rights on a name.
She didn't use it in the end, by the way: She said it was "too weird". grin

thisisyesterday Tue 11-Oct-11 21:05:51

i would be really chuffed!

needanewname Tue 11-Oct-11 21:06:17

Wouldn't bother me, in fact I'd be flattered.

However if it was a close friend who I'd see all the time, i'd feel it was a bit weird but still wouldn't say anything.

cherub59 Tue 11-Oct-11 21:06:18

Wouldn't bother me at all! A close friend just called her baby the same name as my ds2 who is 2. He thinks it is FANTASTIC and clearly thinks he is named after him!!

MonsterBookOfHorrors Tue 11-Oct-11 21:06:24

I honestly wouldnt care.
If you had met after having dc it wouldnt be a problem, unless of course people choose their friends depending on the dc names grin

LoveInAColdClimate Tue 11-Oct-11 21:06:43

I think I'd be pleased and flattered, actually.

toddlerama Tue 11-Oct-11 21:06:49

You're the name thief aren't you OP?

thisisyesterday Tue 11-Oct-11 21:06:50

argh god, that makes it sound as though i would assume that they were naming their baby after my child, which they wouldn't

but i mean, it would make me pleased that other people loved the name I had chosen

it wouldn't bother me at all if a close friend or relative used a name I had already used either

hairypotter Tue 11-Oct-11 21:08:52

Is this a reverse one? I would be fine about it. I know that my dd's names are fabulous grin so who wouldn't want to use them?

Firawla Tue 11-Oct-11 21:09:34

it might slightly piss me off because my kids names are not that common, but i would not say anything and i would try to just get over myself because reallly they can use it if they want, so i would try to feel more like what lockets said, and if it was a common and popular name then i dont think i would have any issue.

StetsonsAreCool Tue 11-Oct-11 21:09:41

Are you the pregnant friend?

And, it depends how prevalent the name is. If it's Charlie or Ellie, then I wouldn't even ask. If it's something that the existing DC has pretty much cornered, then it could be weird ground, but worth the ask.

Also, names aren't copyrighted. You can use one that someone else has got.

bottlebank Tue 11-Oct-11 21:10:29

Someone I know (but not at all well), gave her DC the same names as mine but in reverse order - so my DC was Xavier Jorje (not really those names but similarly non-standard), and hers is Jorje Xavier.

I thought that was a bit odd as my DC's name reflects my heritage, which this person doesn't share, but don't actually care very much.

I would always appreciate being told in advance but it would always be okay. I would be flattered.

I was VERY VERY SAD, though, when after I miscarried for the third time a friend of mine said she was calling her (still unborn), DC the name I'd always loved for a girl. I think that was more hormonal than anything and I didn't say anything to her.

HecateGoddessOfTheNight Tue 11-Oct-11 21:12:03

I'd think it was a bit weird that someone I barely had any contact with wanted to run their name choice by me and be a bit worried that they thought I was one of those it's my name, my name MINE MINE MINE types, tbh.

Kirstle Tue 11-Oct-11 21:17:39

Hands up, yes I am the stealer of the name. In my defence To give you some background, when she was pregnant, she asked what names I liked and I said the name and she said oh yes, I love that too. Then used it. As well she should. So it won't come as a complete shock to her... there are other names I like, but none as much. Her dc is not quite a year old. My dc is still a twinkle in my eye, so a totally premature maybe a bit of a premature post, but still it is on my mind and I thought I would see what you fine women thought... smile as usual, thanks x

Kirstle Tue 11-Oct-11 21:20:39

HGOTN - I only see her 6 times a year now, but I used to work with her and share a flat with her, so there is a lot of history there. It is only circumstance that keeps us from seeing each other as much. I still went to her baby shower / hospital when DC was born, christening etc... She is not a total stranger...that would be wierd lol smile

BadRoly Tue 11-Oct-11 21:27:45

I think it depends in the name to a degree. My older 3 dc have fairly common names so it would be difficult to feel like I have some sort of ownership. However ds2 has a, well frankly, made up name that I would be hacked off if a friend used.

comedaygoday Tue 11-Oct-11 21:50:49

My sons have fairly unusual names and I wouldj't mind. I would think she had great taste.

whatever117 Tue 11-Oct-11 22:10:31

It depends - if you have called your DD Emily - put up with it.

If you called her Artemis - you could have a fistfight.

Kayano Tue 11-Oct-11 22:23:12

Not if it's just a regular friend I know and not a BFF iyswim?

minipie Tue 11-Oct-11 22:39:33

What Hecate said.

StetsonsAreCool Tue 11-Oct-11 22:41:33

I know the sort of friend you mean, and I think if I was in your situation I'd still use the name. She already knows you like it, and you have enough in common that your friendship has lasted this long.

Just let her know you still like it and would like to use it if you have the right sort of baby to use it on.

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