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How to change OH opinions

(15 Posts)
10isenough Fri 09-Sep-11 09:02:10

We are due to have dc3 (a boy) October 17th and we're still stuck on choosing a name. It's important to me that we decide and stick with a name before arrival (with dc2 we left it a month then made a snap decision which we ended up changing later on, even after lots of umming & ahhing during the pregnancy).

So my two favourite names are Casper & Ruben (any spellings) but my husband says he doesn't like either! He hasn't made very many suggestions (usually just parrots back to me a name I've suggested a week os so before). His choices are Edgar & Wilbur. I've really tried to get my head around these two names but I just can't imagine hugging or reprimanding a little two year old with either of these names.

So, is there any way I can subtly change his mind with out feeling guilty or leaving him cold. I feel bad already but deep down I know that it isn't really the most important thing to him - he'd happily go with David or John if I said they were the bee's knees.

Sorry it's a long one, any advice welcome though!

gapants Fri 09-Sep-11 09:11:54

right after birth when your dh is brimming with pride and love for you and his newborn, you name the kid. he will say yes to anything in this moment.

LoonyRationalist Fri 09-Sep-11 09:44:34

You can't change his mind any more than he can change yours. You both need to make new independent lists of names you would consider and then review each other's lists for common ground. Naming a child is about compromise.

evamummy Fri 09-Sep-11 10:18:32

I agaree - you need to start over and find a name you BOTH love.

Cereal Fri 09-Sep-11 11:15:54

Find something you both like.

If you like Biblical names how about Isaac, Samuel, Zachary, Daniel, Luke, Felix, James, Noah?

Elderberries Fri 09-Sep-11 13:35:34

Yep, you both have to like it. Keep looking.

scarlettlips Fri 09-Sep-11 13:44:51

Start a new list..it's the only way!

What about Jasper and William??

scarlettlips Fri 09-Sep-11 13:45:36

What are you other DC's called..might help us get an idea?

HPonEverything Fri 09-Sep-11 14:32:40

I've got the same problem OP but doubled up as we don't know if boy or girl. Who knew naming a child was so hard!

10isenough Sun 11-Sep-11 07:29:03

Thanks for advice - I'm worried about a compromise in either direction as I think it'll end in a name which doesn't light anyones fire. Then we might as well ask MIL to choose!

Other kids are Matilda and Henrietta. I think we're aiming for traditional not too popular, surname begins with 'H'.

Zoonose Sun 11-Sep-11 07:47:54

I agree with the other posters, having been through a similar process when naming DD. I think you both need to scratch off the names you individually like but the other does not and go back to the drawing board. While pregnant, I was desperate to name DD Sophia, but DH did not like that name at all. Once I was sure he really did not (and he did take some time thinking about it), I drew a line under it and moved on. Eventually he suggested a name that I did like, and we went with that. I think a name can take a while to get used to and it is hard to be open minded. Good luck!

seeker Sun 11-Sep-11 07:51:26

Patrick. Or Edmund.

birdofthenorth Sun 11-Sep-11 09:33:57

Sometimes whenI stop mentioning a name for a month then raise it again like totally new suggestion DH says maybe when he previously said no!!

DessieLou Sun 11-Sep-11 09:47:47

I know the feeling 10, although admittedly we are not yet pregnant. sad
My OH has absolutely no imagination (to give you an idea the only suggestions he's made are Victoria and Rene...God help me) so looks at me strangely when I suggest the unusual names. We have managed to agree on our not-yet-conceived boys name...Reuben! It's a name we discovered when doing the family tree so love that it has that connection behind it.
In my experience men are slow creatures, they take a while to catch up so if you keep mentioning a name he may eventually go for it (and think it was his idea!). But I do agree with the other posters, if he genuinely doesn't like it you'll have to come to terms with it (get a cat and call it Casper!).
Why not try looking into your/his family history, you may find a name you both like with a connection he'll appreciate....Good Luck! smile

DessieLou Sun 11-Sep-11 09:49:58

BTW I actually quite like the name Edgar (Eddie for short?). And your girls names are lovely!

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