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Anyone else wish they'd used another name for their dc?

(16 Posts)
Meringutan Sun 28-Aug-11 13:55:40

My DD is not far off a year old and I'm still obsessing about her name. I know it's too late to change it now - she recognises it as her name so it wouldn't be fair.

But does anyone else look at their children and think that they would suit another name better? One of the problems is that there are 2 ways to pronounce DD's name (both quite valid). We opted for the less common pronunciation as we preferred it. However, even people who know her name and how we pronounce it still insist on pronouncing it their way and it's becoming a real issue for me.

The other name in question is more common but not over-used so everyone recognises it and knows how it's pronounced. She would've really suited the other name and I wish we'd gone with that one instead of the one we did actually go with.

Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike her name but these pronunciation issues are really quite annoying.

I'm not going to reveal the names as I don't want opinions on either of them and I know the one we didn't use will be more popular on mn.

Is it normal to feel like this about a name?

Kirstle Sun 28-Aug-11 14:18:32

What is the name and which pronunciation have you gone for?

My friend had/has a similar issue. She named her little boy Amos, a name she had loved for years and never really thought twice about it. When it came down to discussing names for her DC2, my other friend put her foot right in it by suggesting that the name meaning for the name she was considering (Penelope) didn't matter as it 'obviously hadn't mattered when she saddled Amos with his name'. My friend had never really looked into the name meaning of Amos (burden / carrying a heavy load) she just loved the name.
Since my other friend's foot-in-mouth disaster, original friend has convinced herself that to be called Amos is a "burden "and desperately wants to change it, even though she still loves it?!? Regardless of me suggesting that the meaning makes no difference, that her ds is a perfect little Amos. All ruddy cheeked and black curls. Amos is now almost three. She has started to call him by his middle name, Harry. Everyone else calls him Amos and I think my friend will eventually put it into perspective, but for the time being the poor little mite is having a bit of confusion...
I guess the lesson here is to be wary of how you react or comment on other people's baby names?

Kirstle Sun 28-Aug-11 14:20:13

Incidently, she didn't go for Penelope, but baby Elsie will be 2 months old next week smile

Meringutan Sun 28-Aug-11 14:42:39

I've not posted the name(s) because I don't want people's opinions on which is the better name. The name we didn't use is a favourite on mn so I don't really want people telling me I should've gone for the latter.

I would probably still feel the same way even if people didn't pronounce it differently to the way we chose. It just doesn't help how I feel about the name.

I had similar doubts about my other dd's name but not for very long and only at the beginning. I put it down to hormones lol. I think what doesn't help is that this is/was my last baby so I wanted the perfect name for her. I just wondered if how I'm feeling is normal?

Kirstle - I feel so sorry for your friend. I personally wouldn't know what the meaning of Amos was. Like you said, I think once a baby has been named then you should be more tactful when offering an opinion.

Cereal Sun 28-Aug-11 14:45:44

Kirstle - you might like to know that Amos doesn't just mean "burden". It's a Biblical name, derived from the word "amos" meaning 'borne, carried'.

Kirstle Sun 28-Aug-11 15:04:37

Sorry OP I think I skimmed through your original post when you gave reasons for not giving out the names. Sorry to then ask! Yes, I do think people could be more tactful re names, but that is that. I hope you find peace with your baby name - it's so stressful isn't it? You want it to be so perfect that you are in danger of over-thinking it. I think a lot of people feel the same way, so don't in anyway feel bad about it. You just want it to be right. Did you give DC a middle name that could be used?
Cereal - I will pass this on, thank you smile

MrsOzz Sun 28-Aug-11 16:45:33

No advice really but just wanted to say you aren't alone!

My niece is Esme (Es-mee officially) but half the family call her Es-may or some version in-between the two - which drives my sister potty!

The funny thing is that now she is 7 and knows her own mind, she has decided she prefers Es-may so now introduces herself like that. And she even asks her girl friends to call her Mae as a nn. Much to my sister's dismay.

survivingsummer Sun 28-Aug-11 21:41:50

It took me at least a year to get used to DS's name and I did obsess about it a LOT! I love it now - and even better he loves it too but it is quite unusual and people can look at him funny when he tells them his name initially.

I used to wish I'd called him Leo, which is quite similar and more common and thought I would change it for most of his first year - it was only DH who was determined we should keep it that stopped me!

halecromp Tue 30-Aug-11 00:16:55

For a long time after our dd was born I regretted calling her Scarlett and wished we had called her Amelia. Scarlett suits her better and she is the only Scarlett in her class (where as there is an Emilia) so I am glad we went with that name but it used to really bother me. x

Offspring Tue 30-Aug-11 02:51:20

DH and I had two favourite girls' names when choosing for DD. We used one as a first name followed by a different mn which is named for someone. We intentionally kept the other for DC2 so that we hadn't used our two favourites iyswim.

Fast forward 18 months and I am 33 weeks pregnant with DC2... which is a boy. I am utterly delighted to be having a boy and wouldn't wish it any other way, but I do wish we had used both of our favourite names for DD. Unless anyone thinks that Eloise is unisex and I'll use it for DS grin.

thereisalightanditnevergoesout Tue 30-Aug-11 15:04:09

I still can't get used to DC4's name, really. I love the name. But I'm not sure he is an Angus. I feel he is a Patrick and really wanted to call him that(nn Patch) but for various reasons, didn't feel that we could - especially as he has quite an obvious birthmark on his face - I feel people would think that was why we were calling him that. It doesn't help that Angus is also the name of our cat. So yes, I completely agree that you can really wish you'd picked another name.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Tue 30-Aug-11 21:24:33

I have a similar predicament - we called our DS Daniel and I love the name despite its popularity. However the moment he was born, he looked like a Peter to me. He still does and he is now 7. smile

tobearornottobear Tue 30-Aug-11 21:58:19

Twelve yrs ago i named my first dd ellie and i really thought it was rare...and beautiful......my mum begged me to give her a long name with ellie as nn but i wouldnt do it....i briefly toyed with calling her eliza but didnt in the end...such a shame as ellie is sooooooo popular and she really does look like an eliza.....its a tough one op.

purpleloosestrife Tue 30-Aug-11 22:21:25

i love my DD's name so much that I am REALLY struggling to find something I love equally just in case we are lucky enough to get a brother or sister for her!

I saw her name online and knew immediately that it was the right name. I told DP and he loved it too. (we never had a boy's name so very glad she was a girl! ).... now I need to find another name I love ...

janeandmichaelbanks Wed 31-Aug-11 00:05:08

Wish we had included something about my mum in DD2 (she died when she was 9 mnth) but couldn't have known
I love DD1 name and I love who she is named after and it really suits her but sometimes I wish it wasn't so 'normal'

I often have pangs of regret about the names I chose, but I don't actively wish I hadn't used them. When I chose dd1's name I knew it wasn't unusual, but what I couldn't have known was that it would shoot to the top of the charts the year she was born and stay there ever since.

DD2's name is one that has various spellings. I'd expected other people to get it wrong, but had not anticipated that even my family would. I had also underestimated how much it would annoy me. I've had this nagging feeling since she was born that it didn't quite suit her, but lately we've been using a shortened version and that's put it to rest somewhat.

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