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AIBU to go off a name just because it is my MIL's favourite?

(53 Posts)
TheFrozenMBJ Mon 08-Aug-11 05:33:39

I have always liked Anna ad as it is my grandmother's name and DD is due in October (gran's birthday month) we are seriously considering it as her name (along with Georgina as a second name for DH's maternal granny).

But I also really like Greta (really, really like it) but last night at dinner, MIL started going on and on and on about how her favourite name is Anna, and how well it'll go with the surname, how lovely it s etc etc etc.

I know I am being completely unreasonable grin but I really don't want a name she has chosen, or will feel like she has chosen. She already likes to think that she is more important ind DH and DS's lives than I am. angry

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Mon 08-Aug-11 05:57:23


Would she be Greta Georgina, though?

JoyceBarnaby Mon 08-Aug-11 06:01:06

Of course YABU - cutting off your nose to spite your face, etc etc. However, IMO, you are also bring totally understandable. I'd feel exactly the same about my MIL in the same situation. Knowing I was being a bit unreasonable wouldn't change that either.

Try to remember that in 10 years' time, nobody will care or ask why you chose her name. Also, you could say the following at every opportunity: "We nearly didn't choose Anna, even though I've always wanted it as a girl's name, because we really wanted to surprise everyone and MIL suddenly said she liked it! We worried that people might expect it, even though we'd wanted it before then - but we decided the surprise didn't mattress that much!"

TheFrozenMBJ Mon 08-Aug-11 07:35:27


I know IABU gringrin but I just need to vent, I can hardly tell DH that I'm pissed off with him mum for liking my favourite name, I'd sound like a loon.

InstantAtom Mon 08-Aug-11 07:40:51

Anna Georgina would be a beautiful name.

It's a name you will have chosen smile

TheFrozenMBJ Mon 08-Aug-11 07:44:15

Bloody hell, I sound like an illiterate idiot in that last post. Pissed off with his mum.

hpsaucy Mon 08-Aug-11 07:44:28

I did it. My MIL kept refering to my bump as Chloe (even though we didn't know if it was a girl or boy), she was desperate for a grandaughter as there were no girls in there family.

DD1 came along, she's not called Chloe!!!

DuelingFanjo Mon 08-Aug-11 07:48:09

I can understand this. Do you think she will forever tell people that she chose the name? I was constantly willing my son to crawl when his uncle wasn't around (BIL) because I knew if he did BIL would claim for the rest of his life that he taught him to do it. In the end he crawled when we were away visiting my brother which I am fine with. grin

MatLeaveForever Mon 08-Aug-11 07:51:54

Perhaps you could have a name with anna at the end, ie Rosanna, Julianna, Pollyanna...etc

exoticfruits Mon 08-Aug-11 07:56:02

YABU. Just say to her 'how strange, it has always been my favourite'. The only person that matters is your DD and you can always laugh when she is older and say 'Grandma thinks she chose it, but it was my favourite long before she mentioned it'.

TheFrozenMBJ Mon 08-Aug-11 07:57:44

Oh, yes, she will for ever be telling people how she convinced us to call DD, Anna, when I actually 'wanted something horrible like, Greta'

GwendolineMaryLacey Mon 08-Aug-11 07:58:52

YABU. My grandmother chose my name. My mother tells me that quite merrily and they had their share of issues.

exoticfruits Mon 08-Aug-11 08:04:57

I really don't know why it matters who thinks they chose it! To not use your favourite name because she likes it is just silly!

exoticfruits Mon 08-Aug-11 08:07:05

If it annoys you and she goes on about it all you have to do afterwards is say to the person, quietly,'we just let her think she chose it-but we always loved it'.

diddl Mon 08-Aug-11 08:08:50

Can´t understand why MIL is telling you what her fave names are tbh.

Still, at least you are forwarned if you do choose it!

The way I feel about my MIL, I´m sure I would have chosen something different to stop her crowing!

Much as I don´t get on with her, there are some things that she knows to keep shut about/not offer an opinion on-thank goodness!

bagelmonkey Mon 08-Aug-11 08:15:24

I can totally understand. There is no way I could have used any name MIL suggested. We didn't discuss names with family before DD born. We didn't decide on her name until she arrived, although we had a shortlist of boys and girls names.

TheFrozenMBJ Mon 08-Aug-11 08:18:14

I know IABU grin and I'm not seriously considering not naming DD what I like because of her. I'm still keepingnmy options open anyway, to see what suits hernwhen she gets here, DS wasn't named until he was born as DH and I both had our own individual 'top 5' and DS just happened to suit a name that was on both our lists.

diddl - she likes to think she controls the world - neigh the universe grin (However, we do actually get on relatively well.)

Chandon Mon 08-Aug-11 08:19:21

I really think people should not share their name options with the family, there are so many threads about this.

keep it to yourself, and tell the family ONCE THE BABY IS BORN.

TheFrozenMBJ Mon 08-Aug-11 08:20:23

bagel since my first pregnancy with DS I have been refusing to discuss names with anyone, including my own family, but she just won't let up. Aaarrggh! I just smile and nod at the dinner table, quietly seething below a thin veneer of friendliness grin.

exoticfruits Mon 08-Aug-11 08:20:59

That is what we always did, Chandon. I can never understand why people even use MN. We certainly didn't discuss it with family.

TheFrozenMBJ Mon 08-Aug-11 08:24:09

Well, why post anything then exotic? Surely an Internet forum is here for this exact purpose, discussing relatively silly but important stuff.

exoticfruits Mon 08-Aug-11 08:27:44

Names in particular seem a bit pointless. Some will love it, some will hate it and there will be everything inbetween. Given a choice of 2 names there will be supporters of both. The place where it does come in handy is where people tell them the DC will be teased-but they rarely listen to that one anyway.Even if you post that you love it but best friend has used it, posters will split between don't use it and do use it.

exoticfruits Mon 08-Aug-11 08:30:04

I suppose the most useful is asking for suggestions.

TheFrozenMBJ Mon 08-Aug-11 08:38:31

Yes, yes. But people post for all sorts of different reasons. Some want suggestions, some want validation, some (like me, on this thread) want to vent and have a lighthearted chat.

Not all interaction on here (or in RL) serves a 'useful purpose' and not all discussions need to be adversarial.

exoticfruits Mon 08-Aug-11 09:23:07

Very true-I take it back. I just wouldn't post as many people would reply 'boring' and I love 'boring' names.

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