I have a friend from the NCT, our nct group is still quite close but we dont see each other often. I see her about once every 3 months, but she sees another friend from NCT a lot, who I aslo see and speak to quite a bit.
I really really love thier DC2 daughter name-Romilly. They only ever refer to thier Romilly as Milly though. DH are really struggling with a name for a girl, we have an Isla already, it really isn't done to name your kids the same as theirs is it?
I think that as you got the idea from them (I think?), that makes it a bit dodge. It's not like you always loved the name and they happened to name theirs first.
Then again, you're not best mates or relatives, is their DD2 very small or otherwise likely to be a playmate for your potential DD? Why not say "we've been discussing names and we just love Romilly - it's such a beautiful name. Would it be okay if we considered it for our baby, if we had a DD?"
They will probably be flattered and delighted.
A friend at school's mum did that to my mother - said she loved my name and was it okay if they named their DD the same. My mother still goes on about it, it's a bit compliment! However they weren't friends, and there was an 8-year age gap between me and the other branstons.
I would talk to her and see how she feels about it.
I have a Carys. My very good friend (who is also DD's godmother) was pregnant the same time as me and had her little girl 2 months later and called her Cerys. Carys and Carys are very good friends and in the same class at school, we are also neighbours. It has never been a problem.
Sorry-I did love Romilly long before they named thier DD, it was our 2nd choice name-they just happened to have thier 2nd long before we have. Milly has just turned 1 while my DC2 is still a belly squatter.
Ahhh well if it was always on your list that's much easier. Say "we've always loved the name Romilly and wondered if you'd mind if we considered it if we were to have a DD", or something like that - after all, you don't know you're having a DD for sure(?), so it might be academic.
I am facing a similar dilemma - after much deliberation hubby and I have finally agreed on a name for our 3rd baby, but it is the same as a friend's little boy. It was actually on the shortlist for our eldest who is older than their son and they know this (told them when they had their little boy in a 'oh I love his name, we seriously considered that for J' sort of way), but I still feel a little uneasy about it! It's a close yet distant friendship much the same way you describe. I am not changing my mind about the name, but am planning to send her an email letting her know we are using it before he is born (better get round to that actually - am running out of time).
Your child is going to have that name for an entire lifetime, so I don't really think it matters if there is currently someone in the same social circle with that name. Face it, sod's law dictates that you decide not to use the name, and then the other family move away and you never see them again! If you do feel really strongly about it, then say to her beforehand that you are considering the name Romilly if your baby is a girl. Just to give her a heads up. Be careful how you phrase it though, because if you ask her permission to use it she may well say no! And that will just make you want it more - everyone always want what they can't have
Friend in my group asked me recently did I mind her naming her due to be born any minute babe the same name as my 7mo old.
a ) it was lovely she asked b) i took it as a big compliment c) what would i have said? No you can't!
so of course she had my 'blessing' but IMHO didn't need it as she had right to name her child whatever she wanted. As do you.
Nonetheless I would still do the courtesy of mentioning it to her so she has no reason whatsoever to be miffed (rightly or wrongly) and has time to get used to the idea of Romilly 2. You could also tell her your nickname for yours is going to be Romy at the club you both) attend or the name in full (unless you want Milly too)