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MiL Nightmare

(66 Posts)
Ziggimajiggi Tue 26-Jul-11 13:38:27

My father was Danish and Mother is English, and I have a very scandinavian name. My wonderful DH is Scottish from a Scottish family and - surprise surprise - has a very Scottish name.

We're choosing names for our wee baby and DHs mum asked me what we were calling her grandchild. I knew this would probably end badly with such a pinted remark, but I was honest with her about the names both I and DH like.

It was worse than bad...she literally bellowed NOOOO at our favourite boy's name and started talking about how much the little one would be bullied if we gave it pretty much any of the names we have on our list. I was never bullied about my name and uber traditionally named DH was bullied terribly - so I really don't understand!

This was about a month ago, but I can't stop thinking how much she'll hate it when we call the baby one of our slightly less traditional names. DH says it's our baby and our family so we can call it what we want...but I feel this big weight of responsibility.

So...what do you think of our choices?
Boy: Magnus Stephen
Girl: Aurora Astrid

Ziggimajiggi Tue 26-Jul-11 13:39:21

*pointed, not pinted!

franke Tue 26-Jul-11 13:42:49

They're both absolutely fine.

It's none of mil's business.

Never discuss names with anyone other than dh before baby is born (too late for that one I know)

flaminglip Tue 26-Jul-11 13:44:24

both beautiful names.

A MIL's job is to moan and disapprove, stick to your guns. She'll get over it.

Mine was convinced DS2 would be bullied due to the name we chose (Felix) - when we asked her why, she could only think of......

"he'll get called Felixstowe at school!!!!"

Now we know never to listen to anyone else when naming OUR babies!

theowlwhowasafraidofthedark Tue 26-Jul-11 13:47:10

Ignore her - she'll love the baby whatever!

faverolles Tue 26-Jul-11 13:47:32

Ditto franke's post.

ShowOfHands Tue 26-Jul-11 13:48:05

It is her grandchild isn't it? Can't see the problem with saying that...

Anyway, there will always be somebody who says something about your chosen name. You just ignore them or ask very politely 'do you mean to sound so rude and hurtful?'

If you like the names then ignore her. They're lovely btw. Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Pootles2010 Tue 26-Jul-11 13:49:33

Lovely names, ignore her.

Re the bullying - it really won't happen. When I was at school it might have done, everyone had very ordinary, plain names, but now children are given much more varied and unusual names, its become usual to have an unusual name iyswim!

SenoritaViva Tue 26-Jul-11 13:49:55

Your MIL will be disapproving of a lot more! Brace yourself.

Honestly, your DH is right and particularly since he is casting aside HIS mother's opinion then I think you can too.

Call the baby what YOU like. You can't judge why a child will be teased or bullied. My parents still feel sorry for, and think that, if you are of 'mixed race' you'll definitely be bullied at school. Remember that sometimes our parents don't update their opinions! (As I guess that might have been true in the 50's).

Make your baby your own, they are your decisions and I bet your MIL will adore HER grandchild when she arrives!

Great names.

steben Tue 26-Jul-11 13:51:11

Just ignore her - she is doing herself no favours by expressing herself like this. You like the names - it is your child - end of!

My 'lovely' MIL when we told her told us and everyone she knew how common it was and that she knew at least 7 other women whose babies were called that name (she didnt).

In the future if we have another I wont be telling her what we are calling the child until it is born.

Flippingebay Tue 26-Jul-11 13:51:38

I really like both of them...

I have found that if you tell people the names you are thinking of before the baby is born then they ALWAYS have an opinion on them which can sway the way you feel about a name. People will 'usually' not say anything other than 'ohh that's lovely' once the baby has been born wink

Ziggimajiggi Tue 26-Jul-11 17:16:28

Thanks for all your comments, it was honestly such a weight on my mind. I feel like a weight has lifted. Actually had tear over it at one point.

franke - I totally agree and have definitely learned my lesson.

steben - totally know what type of MiL you're dealing with! We should set up a support group!


reelingintheyears Tue 26-Jul-11 17:20:40

Aurora is lovely and i know a little Aurora.

Not so keen on Magnus but it really is your choice and i can't see why either name will get them bullied.

Silly old MIL.

reelingintheyears Tue 26-Jul-11 17:21:56

I'm still cross that i gave in over Scarlett and made it DDs middle name.

Ols said it is a dogs name!!

MollyMurphy Tue 26-Jul-11 17:23:05

I love both names. Regardless though you should pick what you want for your children - you don't get to pick a child's name every day and she already had her turn. She was really rude to disparage your preferences.

Ignore her and go with what you both want or you'll resent it.

Eglu Tue 26-Jul-11 17:24:36

Magnus is great, as it fits with your scandinavian roots and is also widely used in Scotland. As lots of Scottish people are descended from Scandinavians anyway.

I love Aurora too.

JeanLouiseFinch Tue 26-Jul-11 19:15:41

They are both lovely names

JoInScotland Tue 26-Jul-11 19:39:14

There was a little boy named Magnus in the fruit & veg shop the other day, very blond with a very tall blond mum. I didn't bat an eye about the name... less happy that he kept stealing my son's truck from his hands....

missmiss Tue 26-Jul-11 19:46:51

Magnus is a great name. I prefer Astrid to Aurora but it's your DC and your decision! Ignore your MiL, there's nothing wrong with your choices and even if there were, it's none of her business smile

WinkyWinkola Tue 26-Jul-11 19:49:50

Great names.

She said, "My grandchild....." to demonstrate some sort of ownership and control. Her res

WinkyWinkola Tue 26-Jul-11 19:51:07

Sorry. iPhone drives me nuts.

Her response to your name choices is really out of order. Controlling. I'd watch out for more of that behaviour when your baby arrives.

IvyAndGold Tue 26-Jul-11 19:55:29

I lol'd at 'literally bellowed NOOOO!' gringringrin

PuttingMyFootInIt Tue 26-Jul-11 19:57:31

My mother was just the same. It did poison the early days as she said stuff like (while looking at beautiful perfect DS) "I can't believe they're going to call you that", and when we got back from the registry office she was drunk and said "well that's it then, you've done it" and stomped off.

YOUR baby, YOUR name choice.

bigbutton Tue 26-Jul-11 20:00:01

I'm sure your MIL knows much better, but I know 3 scottish chaps with the name Magnus. I assumed it was a pretty traditional scottish name...

bigbutton Tue 26-Jul-11 20:01:24

And fwiw, I think your names are all lovely

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