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I've approached dh about changing dd2 name from ....

(33 Posts)
mrsotter Sun 24-Jul-11 13:51:42

Tessa to Florence, she is 9 months.

I always wanted Florence but let other people put me during my pregnancy. Ended up with Tessa becuase I liked the nickname Tessa.

DH is worried about what other people will think.

Any opinions/experiences/advice greatly appreciated.

mrsotter Sun 24-Jul-11 13:52:02

*nickname Tess

scarlettsmummy2 Sun 24-Jul-11 13:56:00

I think it's a bit late and tessa is nice. People will think you are a bit mad.

mrsotter Sun 24-Jul-11 13:58:42

dh also thinks people will think we are crazy.

sad

scarlettsmummy2 Sun 24-Jul-11 14:00:27

I suppose it really depends on wether you care what other people think or not.

mrsotter Sun 24-Jul-11 14:03:03

Well no I don't. dh is a different kettle of fish though.

IMHO in a year (maximum) they will no longer think about her as Tessa.

festiemum Sun 24-Jul-11 14:11:43

I think it's up to you! When I was a child there was a couple who had a child who was known as Jake for a while, and then they decided to call him Billy. There was a bit of surprised conversation about it at the time, but I'm pretty sure people soon forgot.

The issue as I see it is your DH; after all, it is his decision too. If all he's worried about is what other people think though, then you need to persuade him that it really doesn't matter and what matters is that you're happy with your DD's name.

Isn't this where mediums such as facebook come into their own??! (apart from some of the older relatives I suppose, who you'll have to contact individually, and who might express the most bewilderment; but as you say yourself they will soon stop thinking of her as Tessa anyway).

PaperBank Sun 24-Jul-11 14:44:01

Don't be concerned what others think, it's not up to them and they shouldn't interfere. Just decide between yourself and your DH.

LetThereBeRock Sun 24-Jul-11 14:46:16

I think it's too late to change her name now,and that Tessa is a nicer name than Florence.

Cristiane Sun 24-Jul-11 14:46:57

I changed my dd's name at four months old. Zhe is now 2 and i don't think ANYONE remembers her original nam! I am so pleased we changed it. Feel so happy we did.

Cristiane Sun 24-Jul-11 14:47:10

She not zhe!

Donna1992 Sun 24-Jul-11 15:02:15

Hmmmm i dunno, i wouldnt do it cos it'd be too confusing and all the memories from his birth wouldnt be the same (Congratulation cards, Hospital bands, name tag, personalised cutlery etc) BUT if you really prefer Florence and your OH does too then go for it. Id defo do it now whilst she is young xx

RMutt Sun 24-Jul-11 15:02:44

People might raise an eyebrow but it'll blow over. Change it if you feel strongly about it. Now rather than later.

I think the window of opportunity to do it will shut fairly soon though; not least because your dd will start to think that Tessa is her name.

Lonnie Sun 24-Jul-11 15:11:14

could you try it out at home for a week to see if it feels right for the 2 of you to do so? if not then you will have your answer?

(or alternatively have another laughs)

CharlieBoo Sun 24-Jul-11 15:39:09

I would think it was a bit mental tbh... And agree all her birth cards, etc will have Tessa on and will be a bit strange when she's older looking back at them. However if you really hate Tessa then do it, who cares what others think.

Martha85 Sun 24-Jul-11 15:56:17

I think it is a bit late to change it. Why don't you use Florence if you have another DD?

WiiUnfit Sun 24-Jul-11 16:08:06

I agree with others who have said 9m is a bit too late to change her name, it will be really odd for her in the future regarding cards, presents .etc.

jellybeans Sun 24-Jul-11 19:01:59

Bit late to change. Also, Tessa is much nicer.

razzlebathbone Sun 24-Jul-11 20:44:08

I think it's odd too, after so long. She is who she is now and although you say you prefer Florence, you may prefer something else in future too. I think you should live with it and respect that it's now her name. I'd find it almost upsetting if I had to refer to someone in my family, I had known for 9 months, as a completely different name. Contrary to what a lot of others are saying, and I really see why, I think other people, certainly close family and people close to her, do count.

DessertsInReverse Sun 24-Jul-11 22:08:39

we changed dd's name at 9 months . the name we initially put on her bc i loathed had begged dh to compromise but every name i suggested he vetoed from the 6 month of pregnancy to her birth and until we registered her . in the end i gave in and accepted his choice because i had no other option but continued to loathe it dreaded people asking her name felt like crying when it was called out etc , never used her real name called her baby ,little one etc. i really did try to love her name as it was her name but as hard as i tried it just wouldn't happen it felt wrong.

at 9 months dh was nagged to death eventually realised how unhappy i felt and that it wasn't going away inact it was festering . to be honest it was less about the name and more about how angry i was with dh and the mannner in which he foisted a name he knew i disliked on me .so we changed her name to a name that we'd both liked but had discounted as too try hard it was her second name on her birth certificate so not a big issue legally. it was far from a name i loved but i at least liked it and have grown to love it .it is the name i we'd both been slightly braver she should have had at birth .

yes people laughed but 8 months on they've got over it and it's now faded in peoples memories. even when people said things i just felt she's our baby we have to live with her name and laugh if you want .

people did occasionally use her old name and had to be reminded she's x now but that hasn't happened in quite some time.

she is now her new name and could be nothing else .she started to respond to it very rapidly within days and it suits her perfectly

yes she has a few personalised items not many as we took so longer naming her birth announcement cards , hospital bands , birth cards just have baby surname on them. the few things with her name on but when she's older it will be part of her history , we have a nice story of how ds looked at her and said this is my sister x (new name).

also if she is unhappy with our choice her original name remains on her bc and she can revert to that if she wishes

honestly changing her name was the best thing we've done , yes we had some people who looked hmm ,shock ,confused but it was right for us and felt like a very heavy weight had been lifted.

sorry for the long post but thought you might like to here from someone who did the unthinkable and changed their dc's name at 9 months and survived . dd also seems none the worse for the experience .

the bottom line is she is your daughter you and your dp are the people who will use her name most often , and far better to act now than spend a life time regretting her name

DessertsInReverse Sun 24-Jul-11 22:10:07

just meant to add i think both tess and florence are lovely names, whatever you decide .

pixiestix Sun 24-Jul-11 23:16:34

Does she recognise her name? That would sway me quite a lot in the decision.

festiemum Mon 25-Jul-11 10:30:56

Lovely post, Desserts - I think you've nailed it! smile

Bathsheba Mon 25-Jul-11 13:07:52

As the mummy of a Tess, I'd say leave it...!!!!!!!!!!

Ephiny Mon 25-Jul-11 13:19:06

I would leave it alone, as Tessa is a perfectly nice name, and better than Florence IMO! Don't see the need to go to the bother of changing. Anyway what if you decide in a few years you don't like Florence or you think of something better? At some point you have to draw a line and say this is her name now!

It's your choice (and DHs of course) though, don't worry about what other people will think - they'll get used to it, and after a while most people won't even remember. What does he imagine they'll think, just out of interest??

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