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Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Baby names

If you and DH/DP couldn't agree on a name who won in the end?

29 replies

bt1978 · 16/06/2011 15:12

We already have a DD, and are expecting DC2 in September - we are in agreement on a girl's name if it is another DD, but if it's a boy we're stuck.

I like Dexter.
DH likes Stanley.

I am pretty sure I can work on him in the 13 weeks we have left until DC2 arrives. Anyone else had a battle with their partner over a name?

OP posts:

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websticks · 16/06/2011 15:40

Yes and he sort of got his way in the end. I liked Noah he hated it. He liked Tarquin!!!!!! i HATED it. We both liked Finn. But he liked Finley but call him Finn and i liked Fintan but call him Finn anyway he was born we couldnt decided, then he became ill and had to stay in hospital and then i no longer cared what he was called just wanted him to be better so i gave in and let him call him Finley, and now 5 months on it really suits him. :)

Both names are nice but i prefer Dexter. Hope you get your way in the end. Good luck

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pilates · 16/06/2011 15:48

I would re-think another name you both like.

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Lollyheart · 16/06/2011 15:53

I won my ds2 is Fraser liam, dh wanted Liam Fraser. When he came out the midwife asked if he had a name and I said were still thinking about it, then dh said his name was Fraser

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exoticfruits · 16/06/2011 16:02

Neither-we had to keep going until we found common ground. One person 'winning' isn't fair.

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TeamLemon · 16/06/2011 16:03

I won.

No uterus = no opinon.

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messybessie · 16/06/2011 16:08

We each made a list of 10 names for each sex.

For DS1, DH chose his name (although I had veto) and I chose the middle name. This was because a) it was DHs Grandad's name and b) it was also on my list but further down.

For DS2, we agreed that I would choose the first name and DH could have the middle name, despite DH wanting to name him after his other Grandad.
DH tried for 3 days whilst I was in hospital to veto my choice saying he didn't like it. Eventually I got him to admit that the only reason he didn't like it was because it wasn't the name that he wanted.

So I won, of sorts - but I wouldn't have done it if DH actually hated the name.

But I think it depends, if there is a strong personal reason why one of you likes the name (beloved uncle etc) then I think that should carry more weight.

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Insomnia11 · 16/06/2011 16:09

With DD1 I couldn't get him to discuss names in any seriousness, even though he bought me a baby names book! If I said I liked something he just said "Hmm, not sure." I couldn't get him to suggest any names he liked.

So I made my own list of boy and girl names I liked and took it to the hospital, and he chose from the list!

With DD2 I just made the list, straight away!

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kirrinIsland · 16/06/2011 16:25

We agreed to disagree on our first choices (worlds apart) and started again. We did manage to find a name we were both happy with, and of course, now she's here it really suits her. I'm still hoping I can win him round in time for the next one though even though there's no chance I'll change my mind about his choice

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igggi · 16/06/2011 16:30

He "won" while I was still strung out on the drugs! I picked the middle name though. If we ever have another it is my turn.

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igggi · 16/06/2011 16:30

He "won" while I was still strung out on the drugs! I picked the middle name though. If we ever have another it is my turn.

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Jojay · 16/06/2011 16:30

DS1 - we both agreed

DS2 - neither of our first choices as we couldn't agree but we both love what we chose now and it suits him so well.

DT's - due in the next few weeks .
Girl twin - He chose initially but I love it too so happy to go with it.
Boy twin - I was still talking about the name he wouldn't let me have for DS2. Now he's come round to the idea and it looks like DT will have that name now - hurray!

So a mixed bag, but of course in the twins case we could change our minds yet

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BeattieBow · 16/06/2011 16:33

we didn't agree on any of our names, in the end for each we came up with a completely new name that hadn't been on any list that we both felt ok with. My dh just wouldn't budge with his opinions. and neither would I.

I remember for dd2 we both sat down and wrote separate lists with new names on and we picked the one that was on both lists.

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bilblio · 16/06/2011 16:40

Not sure yet. With DD we hadn't decided on a boys name. I had one that I loved, DH hated it, but had no other alternatives.
5 minutes before DD arrived when they were talking about interventions he agreed I'd get my way if I gave birth without the interventions. I did it, but DD arrived so DH says the agreement is now void.

4 years later, pregnant again, we're still having the same argument.... we have a girls name though... we think.

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pink4ever · 16/06/2011 16:40

Ds1-dh wanted an irish name and we eventually found one we both liked
DD-couldnt agree on names at all! finally narrowed it down to 2 then changed our minds when she was born.Took 2 weeks to give her a name and wasnt a first choice for either of us.
Ds2-again dh wanted an irish name but I picked it this time!

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thisisyesterday · 16/06/2011 16:43

yes. i had a long battle and i won

and i have felt bad about it ever since. ds3 is 2 and i still think we should have used one of our "compromise" names,
it's actually really not that nice using a name for your child that you know your partner doesn't really like :(

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MsChanandlerBong · 16/06/2011 17:04

We're currently stuck in a deadlock for the name of DD1 due in September... DH likes a more traditional name, I like something a bit more creative. We both agree on the middle name though! I don't really want to compromise, but neither do I want to go with a name that DH isn't that keen on. Tricky.

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aliceliddell · 16/06/2011 17:12

He won. Little Adolf will be 3 next month. My turn next time.

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SoloIsAHotCougar · 16/06/2011 17:17

Dd was 3 weeks old before I said, 'look, we need to sort a name out' and we wrote all the names that we liked down on individual pieces of paper and jigsawed them around until I said 'I like this, this is her name' and so it became :)

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SoloIsAHotCougar · 16/06/2011 17:18

Oh and with Ds, it was only me around, so only my opinion that was an issue.

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squeak2392 · 16/06/2011 17:58

I haven't had this problem yet, but I can think of at least one reason for each of them why he might not like them.

If we had different names but we both loved our respective name, then I'd try to find a way to incorporate them both as first name, middle name, even if it meant downgrading my name to middle name status.

If we hated each other's decision then there's be no option but to choose something else.

Overall, I'd probably go for whichever than is most loved. If I hate his name, but am not in love with my own choice, and he is in love with his choice, then he would probably get his way.

I would also consider who named any previous children. If I'd named 2 and he hadn't named any, his ideas would matter more to me (although I agree that we as the carriers of these children have more right to say what happens in their lives, I believe that my say is not the be-all and end-all).

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TheSecondComing · 16/06/2011 18:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bt1978 · 16/06/2011 18:45

maybe the notion of 'winning' wasn't the best way to phrase it...of course i wouldn't choose a name if my partner hated it!
i like both names i said in the original post, although i love my choice and don't love his.
I do kind of hope we will find a name we both love...we had our daughter's name ready for ages and still love it and always agreed on it.
Thanks for responses. X

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TheSecondComing · 16/06/2011 19:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mamaesi · 16/06/2011 22:06

like insomnia...my husband just refused to talk names...said no to everything I suggested. So I narrowed my list down to five names I really liked and when she was born, he said he would know....

I told him it had to be it had to be either this or that or that.... and he picked one and I love it!

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Bandwitch · 16/06/2011 22:16

@thisisyesterday, I'm sure it's grown on him, or he's forgotten about it. My x was really conventional and had a list of four boring names he wanted. I said 'how about Dahlia?' and he would say 'how about Catherine'. We were on totally different pages. Anyway, roll on many years and I've gone off some of the names I suggested. I still love the one I would have chosen, but some of the others I suggested make me laugh to myself now. The final name was definitely dc1's father's choice but it's a good name that will do her her whole life. I have seen it described as posh, chav, popular, unusal, boring, strong, frilly and pretty on MN. But in real life it's a perfectly fine name that will just do the job no problems, no strong associations.. I am glad she's not called Freesia, Fabiola, Merlot or Magnolia now. Ok, I wasn't that bad! but....... I don't want to name the actual names I've gone off as I'll offend somebody.