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Baby name remorse / regret

(148 Posts)
onlyaname Mon 23-May-11 14:46:40

I am driving myself crazy and have been for a while now about DD's name. It is a very common name but I hadn't realised quite how common until a couple of months after naming her (last year). I'm a teacher and only one reception class girl had this name so I didn't think it was overly popular.

I really wanted a name that wasn't so everywhere! Didn't want to be trendy or unusual necessarily but also didn't want to hear the name all over the place. DH however was incredibly fussy and dismissed names very quickly - names I really loved sometimes.
In fact he didn't like the name but when she was born he mentioned it again and after a couple of days we went for it. Some people don't seem to know the name but I do get quite a few comments about how common it is and that it is not very original.

I do like her name but I feel like I have let her down... I'm sure this is not normal - i.e. to feel like this. But I don't want her to feel that she is like everyone else.

I want to move on but I can't shake this feeling of remorse/sadness I have about her name. I look back and really wish I had checked out name popularity and really discussed names with DH to find out what we both liked and pushed for my names even more. I know names aren't the be all for a child's personality or life... but still...

onlyaname Mon 23-May-11 14:47:05

BTW her name is Ava

ThisIsMySobriquet Mon 23-May-11 14:47:26

What's the name?

SenoritaViva Mon 23-May-11 14:50:15

Ava is lovely and not common around here at all (don't know any!) You could move to West Oxfordshire?! No seriously, you need to think about it differently. You like the name, take it at face value. Don't worry about others being called the same, I have a very unusual name and although I love it no one EVER pronounces it right and even when I correct them they still do it wrongly. It is so frustrating. Just because there are others with the same name doesn't mean you should hate it.

smallpotato Mon 23-May-11 14:50:47

It's a beautiful name and I've only ever met one- DD1 is 3 so I have been to a LOT of toddler groups! Don't think of it as popular, think of it as classic smile

smallpotato Mon 23-May-11 14:50:47

It's a beautiful name and I've only ever met one- DD1 is 3 so I have been to a LOT of toddler groups! Don't think of it as popular, think of it as classic smile

GwendolineMaryLacey Mon 23-May-11 14:51:16

Speaking as a Sarah born in the 70's I know exactly how it feels to be one of 14,000 in a class. It can be a pain and I have tried to avoid that with dd. However, it isn't the end of the world by a long stretch. Really not worth worrying about. Ava is popular but I don't know a single one in RL and only one daughter of an internet friend. I really wouldn't worry about it, it's a lovely name.

At one stage a couple of years ago at work there were 3 Sarahs in our small office. We had quite a bond smile

tammy234 Mon 23-May-11 14:55:38

How old is she? You can easily change her name within the first 12 months. Alternatively, has she got a middle name you love more?

(I too have a very popular 70s name and disliked having to share my name with several others in my year, always being known as little x, but as others have said, it isn't the end of the world)

oohlaalaa Mon 23-May-11 14:58:52

Ava is a lovely name, and I don't know any. (I live in N Wales).

It is not that common, not like Ellie/Ella/Eleanor or Isabel/Isobel/Bella/Isabella or Evie/Evelyn/Eva/Eve or Olivia or Grace etc.

anniemac Mon 23-May-11 15:04:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anniemac Mon 23-May-11 15:05:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dreamingofsun Mon 23-May-11 15:26:26

having spent a lot of time picking names that aren't popular and then having a close friend copy one, i've come to the conclusion you are just better off going with something you like.

yes its a lovely name and i do know another but its not that high up in the lists is it.

dreamingofsun Mon 23-May-11 15:31:13

reading some of the awful suggestions on some of the other threads, where people have picked the most awful names just to be different i think your daughter should be very pleased

monkeyfacegrace Mon 23-May-11 15:37:12

oi watch it oohlala, my dd is Grace Olivia wink

ninedragons Mon 23-May-11 15:44:37

Strangely, I only know one Ava and had exactly the same conversation with her mother once - she was living in Bangkok when she had her DD and didn't realise how popular it was in the west, and now regrets not choosing something less common. I've never met another one, though. Do you parents of Avas have a club or something?

hannahsaunt Mon 23-May-11 15:58:34

I don't know where you live (don't know any Avas here but a few Evies) but in Scotland you can change their name in the first 12 months of life and it's as if that had been their name from birth - the register gets physically changed and they will always be known as the new name and the previous name is erased. We did it at 11mo 4w with dd (though all we wanted to do was swap her two middle names round - may not seem like a big deal in the great scheme of things but actually it made us really, really happy). Very straightforward procedure.

TheVisitor Mon 23-May-11 16:00:24

I don't know any Avas and think it's a lovely name.

JanMorrow Mon 23-May-11 16:04:14

I only know a couple of Ava's (one a baby, one 5 years) and I think it is beautiful. I was the only one with my name at school but there was 4 on my uni course (of about 60 people) but it reallllly didn't bother me and didn't cause any issues at all, one of my best friends has the same name as me.

Don't worry, if you like the name then stick with it, it's lovely.

UrsulaBuffay Mon 23-May-11 16:05:18

It's lovely and I only know one. I feel similarly that I wish I had named DD something more unusual, but I still like her name. Your tastes etc do change over time so naming is a very hard thing to do.

d0gFace Mon 23-May-11 16:09:14

Never known anyone called Ava. Great name.

neighbourhoodwitch Mon 23-May-11 16:10:55

Oh what a beautiful name.

nickelbabe Mon 23-May-11 16:11:57

I like the name Ava, don't change it just because it's popular!

but ,if she's under 1 year, you can have the birth certificate amended

SkyNewsAddict Mon 23-May-11 16:13:37

I know 4 Ava's all under 1year old around here, just at mother and baby groups, so it is fairly popular name here. That said, I think its popular because its a lovely name. I don't think you have let anyone down. If you are really unhappy maybe look into changing it?

Pedalpusher Mon 23-May-11 16:16:02

its only a name.

but if i were you i would consider getting her name changed, if you can cope with all the agro you will get from family etc. about that. Ava is a name that will spike and then fall off a cliff again, it will date very badly. Also, because it is so short there is nothing else you can do with it. I know a family who changed their baby's name three times (only once I think on the registration, others were too early) so it is not too unusual. do you have a middle name you can use?

Cezzy Mon 23-May-11 16:18:05

Ava is a beautiful name, and not very popular where we are. I think some celebs have used it recently which unfortunately starts a trend. Could you give her a middle name and use them together, we do that with dd2 who had a name that no-one else I knew had, then at pre-school there were 5 with similar variations on her name.

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