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anyone ever considered changing dc's names?

(43 Posts)
clumsymumluckybaby Sat 20-Nov-10 18:57:01

after the age of about two,when they would likey notice,and you'd have to change by deed poll...

if you'd never loved their original name,and then you stumbled across the one

what would you do?
just leave it? put it in but just as a middle name,or change it altogether?

Thissideofchannel Sat 20-Nov-10 19:18:26

You cannot change a child's name that is older than two. It is his/her identity and would be cruel to do so imo.

Rockbird Sat 20-Nov-10 19:29:47

You have to leave it. I'm looking at my 2.10yo now and I can imagine what she'd say if I suddenly started calling her Mary (not her name)

- I not Mary
- Yes but we're going to call you Mary now.
- No, I not Mary, I Lucy (not her name!)
- Yes, but your new name is going to be Mary
- No, I Lucy

ad inifinitum.

You couldn't do it and it wouldn't be fair to try.

overmydeadbody Sat 20-Nov-10 19:35:59

I'd change it, leaving their original name as their new middle name.

If we take Rockbird's example, I'd just start calling her Mary Lucy.

Kids get used ot things.

clumsymumluckybaby Sat 20-Nov-10 19:42:29

overmy thats more the approch i had in mind,you certainly couldnt just say
"your names mary now"
but kids do get given nn's,and they respond to them,in fact just today i called dd bugsy(not anywhere near her name,also not the name i have in mind!! grin) and she responed no questions asked...i just feel if i dont do something now,then im stuck with my only dd having a name i dont really like and that is potentially a bully's dream...

poppydaisy Sat 20-Nov-10 19:49:30

No, it would not be fair on the child. Her name is her identity and it would indeed be cruel to change this now. Under a year possibly but not after age two imo.

weepootle Sat 20-Nov-10 19:53:56

Yes, I agree that a gradual switchover to her new name by using it combined with her old one is possible. What's this perfect new name you've found?

clumsymumluckybaby Sat 20-Nov-10 20:09:03

my dp is a bit of a hippie,i am not.we really struggled to name her and went through alot of names,most of the ones i loved i couldnt have for various reasons.by the time she was born i had pretty much given up.dp came up with her name out of the blue and i just went along with it,ive never loved it but i dont hate it,it's just alright,but very...hippyish.

then the other day i stumbled accross the most perfect name,that sounds beautiful with a lovely meaning.

im not sure whether to say the names here as i dont want it to turn into name bashing...

cupcakebakerer Sat 20-Nov-10 20:15:55

My issues would be the explaining it to everyone - and what gleeful gossip it would become for people. And believe me people would definitely think it ridiculous and have a good laugh. However I'm someone - to my huge detriment - who really cares what others think. If you couldn't give a stuff then go for it. Another concern would be those confused little eyes looking up at me!

clumsymumluckybaby Sat 20-Nov-10 20:22:15

ive thought about the explaining,and tbh i care,a bit, or i wouldnt be on here...but i think that if im sure about it and dd is taking it well,then i wouldnt really mind a bit of sniggering.
and i honestly dont think she'd be all that put out if we changed it slowly and kept her original name as a mn,or even put the new name as a mn...

Rockbird Sat 20-Nov-10 20:23:39

I think that once your child is over a certain age, say 12 months, then the name ceases to be any of your business. That sounds odd but you have to accept that there comes a point when you can't change these things just because you like something else. It isnt yours to play with any more, it's hers. I dont mean that to sound harsh btw, just couldn't think how else to say what I meant! Otherwise where does it end? My mother has said she wouldn't give me the same name now. I'm 39, is it ok for her to change it? My brother has an 8yo and SIL wouldn't let him use the name he loved. Now she says it has grown on her. Should they change it? There has to be a cut off point.

cupcakebakerer Sat 20-Nov-10 20:56:39

Aww clumsymumluckybaby, I have to say I think I agree with rockbird. It is horrible having regrets but I suppose that's part of life. There are a few things that I would change - buying our first house in a bad area, letting other people highjack our wedding - but you have to suck it up and not make the same mistakes again (easier said than done I know). If you have another bub I'm sure you will think a lot more carefully? But then again who's to say in ten years you won't feel differently about that name too?

clumsymumluckybaby Sat 20-Nov-10 20:57:37

do you think it would be more acceptable to nickname her this new name,because the meaning suits her,(and of course because i love it blush)and then if she prefers it when shes older she could,theoreticaly (sp) change it?

cupcakebakerer Sat 20-Nov-10 21:05:28

I knew a girl at school who changed her name to her middle name at eight years old cos she preferred it. Noone batted an eyelid - children are very adaptable. Much more so than us adults! But looking at the situation it should be her decision (just in my opinion of course).

MerryMarigold Sat 20-Nov-10 21:09:57

I wanted to change my baby's name when she was about 9 months. I didn't. But I found 'the one'. And it just suited her down to the ground (Claudia). I would never have considered that when I was pg!

She is 2 now. I'm not going to change it. But I do slightly regret the name I've called her.

clumsymumluckybaby Sat 20-Nov-10 21:10:02

thanks for not roasting me...im just really gutted that i missed my chance to give my dd the beautiful name id always thought id find for her.i guess im kind of greiving for it if that makes any sense.

clumsymumluckybaby Sat 20-Nov-10 21:13:55

thanks,im glad im not alone merry smile

Rockbird Sat 20-Nov-10 21:14:19

I hope I wasn't too snotty. I couldn't name my DD what I wanted to for various reasons and although her name was my second choice and we still love it, yes I did have a short perioid of 'mourning' if you like for the little girl called Caroline that I believed I would have since I was about 8. So I know how you feel but realistically I think you have to let it go, sorry

What she wants to do down the line of course is a different matter... wink

cupcakebakerer Sat 20-Nov-10 21:14:54

Yep makes sense to me.

evamummy Sat 20-Nov-10 21:35:39

I agree with Rockbird. You chose your dd's name when she was born. It is now her name and her identity, and it is up to HER whether she wishes to change her name or any other part of her identity. It would be confusing and not fair to change your 2 year old's name imo.

MerryMarigold Sat 20-Nov-10 21:54:40

What does dh think of the name? Think it would be weird to call it as a middle name/ nn...grieve away!

clumsymumluckybaby Sat 20-Nov-10 22:00:28

he likes it,but pretty much aggree's that its to late.
(her current name was his choice though)

could you tell me why you think it would be odd (not meaning to be stand off ish,just curioussmile

seeing as no one is being too mean.and i dont think it'd turn into namebashing.
i could tell you the names if you'd like...

MerryMarigold Sat 20-Nov-10 22:01:22

oooh yes, do tell us...I am dying to know...

MerryMarigold Sat 20-Nov-10 22:02:45

I'm not sure why I lack the courage to change my dd's name. We never call her by her real name anyway, but her nickname is very much a shortened form of her real name, so maybe it would be difficult for her. If you ask her name she will tell you the nn we call her.

clumsymumluckybaby Sat 20-Nov-10 22:03:30

smile

her name is currently sky
i wanted to change it to Tanith

it means moon goddess (she was born on a full moon.)

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