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I don't think the new au pair is going to turn up.

(8 Posts)
TimTamTerrier Wed 05-Apr-17 13:24:04

angry I recruited last month as the previous au pair was desperately homesick and went home with very short notice. So I was looking for someone who could start asap, and this prospective au pair assured me that he could. So I offered the job on 10th March, at which point he said he wanted to start late April. hmm We compromised on 5th April, and he said he would book the flight and forward the details to me so that I could pick him up from the airport. So on Saturday I messaged him to remind him to send the flight details and I was looking forward to seeing him on the 5th (which is today) and he messaged back that he hadn't booked the flight, but he would book it this week and let me know.

So I discussed it with H and we both thought that he probably had interviews or perhaps another au pair job as he was clearly stalling. While the delay has pissed me off, the lack of communication has annoyed me even more and if he can't communication his intentions now then there's a possibility that he won't be forthcoming about his plans when he is living with us.

So now I have to woman up and tell him not to come. I have been trying to woman up all morning, I'm not good at giving bad news.

Polichinelle Wed 05-Apr-17 13:43:36

He sounds completely unreliable and he's talking you for a fool. If you don't cancel now, I bet you'll be recruiting again within a few weeks

TimTamTerrier Wed 05-Apr-17 15:03:59

Right! I have sent him an email saying that his lack of communication and the uncertainty of when, or if, he might start means that I am withdrawing the offer. So, I will be resurrecting my profile on Au Pair World this evening. <weary sigh>

grandmainmypocket Wed 05-Apr-17 16:08:57

I'm sorry Tim
Tam you're doing the right thing.

I wanted to cancel someone who was being flaky but I felt bad as she had booked her ticket.
Then she ended up leaving with no notice. I now always listen to my gut regarding au pairs.

TimTamTerrier Wed 05-Apr-17 16:43:01

Well, he messaged back to say that he had told me that he had some projects to finish and wouldn't be able to come until after Easter. I have checked all our written communication on email/whatsapp and the agreed written start date was 5th April, which was referred to several times. So either he had some sort of conversation with himself and thought it was with me, or he's a gaslighter. Either way I think I'm probably well rid of him.


jumpingjellyfishsquids Wed 05-Apr-17 17:06:49

How irritating. I have definitely learnt to be crystal clear with communications and expectations from the start.

TimTamTerrier Wed 05-Apr-17 18:53:44

Right, my profile is back up on APW, and I am checking my messages every 30 mins in case the perfect person has contacted me since the last time I checked. Plus my au pair before the homesick one is checking with his friends and on Facebook to see if there are any likely candidates. He was with us for over two years and still lives in Dublin so we still see him, he thinks of the DC as 'his' so wants us to get the right au pair.

PinPon Sun 09-Apr-17 18:20:05

You might also want to join the AP group on Facebook for your area and advertise there. No guarantee, but you might get lucky!

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