Creativity v looking after dcs

[Countingthegreyhairs]

At the risk of sounding completely 'up myself' - if you are really creative and crave and need long periods of time to do your 'thing' - whether it's painting, sewing, pottery etc etc - how do you reconcile this with looking after children or is that an impossible dream?

Practical pointers gratefully received.

[Domesticgodless]

i fear it may be pretty impossible

can you get any childcare- paid or just some time off with gran etc? That's really got to be the only way to do it

[Flibbertyjibbet]

I knit for my children after they've gone to bed! Or do sewing etc, either clothing/creative or cross stitch. Sometimes while DP is doing is stained glass work in the kitchen.... if we feel lonely I go and sit and knit in the kitchen and watch him.
Thats in between us both working full time being self employed doing not-so creative things and managing our manic 1 and 3 yo ds's.
So sometimes I only get an hour or so in a week. Long periods of time to do anything for me? That went out the window when the kids arrived, I still manage to finish my projects but they take a lot longer - a couple of months now for a 3 year olds aran sweater instead of a fortnight

[Countingthegreyhairs]

What a lovely picture FlibbertyJ - you and your dp working alongside one another on long winter evenings.

I really must get the lighting sorted in this house and then I would have half a chance of getting something done in the winter.

DomesticG - I'm pretty lucky because I only work part-time so I do have some free toime during the week but it tends to be two blocks of an hour or two max. It seems like I get all the materials together, set everything up, have a think, start ... and then its time to clear everything up off the dining room table again and do the school run. Arrrggghhh!!

I think it's a question of clearing "head-space" as well iykwim ... just can't seem to get "in to the zone" in the same way that I did pre-childbirth!!

[HonoriaGlossop]

take up something that uses less time and is quick to get a result? what sort of thing do you usually do?

[Shitemum]

i finally got round to buying the MDF today to make a dollhouse i had promised my DD1 for xmas.
Since November i have a childminder to look after DD2 twice a week for 3 hours. I can't afford this at the moment at all but it seemed better than the expense of a nervous breakdown.
I am still so unused to having any time at all to myself that i often end up wasting it. Then i remember that just being able to think without interruption is enough of an 'excuse'.
I am a very creative person and i feel very frustrated. The creative act of producing my 2 lovely girls somehow isn't enough to fulfill me creatively.....tho' it should be.
In a fit of creativity i actually managed to write the story (concieved one night at 5am after both DDs had woken me and i couldnt get back to sleep), draw 10 A2 size pictures to illustrate it and make a costume for the character who appears at the end, for the xmas party story at DD1's nursery. It took about 10 days and i was up till 2am every night. It was so relaxing.

[Shitemum]

sorry counting, no practical pointers except 'stay up too late'

[Countingthegreyhairs]

HonoriaG - I'm afraid the things I do tend to be rather pain-staking and time-consuming such as still-life drawing, still-life painting (in watercolour and oils) and some sewing and jewllery-making projects. (Or perhaps it's more correct to say that my 'style' in each of these medium is obsessively pain-staking!!)

I do lots of 45 min children's craft projects which I enjoy but they don't seem to 'hit the spot' in quite the same way.

Shitemum (as previously said - hello again - I find it hard to type out that name !!!!!!) it is a VERY interesting question why the ultimate creative process - procreation itself - isn't somehow 'enough' isn't it????

I too am trying to finish two children's picture bks and am burning the candle at both ends - which is why I am asking how everyone else makes time - I'm being to look positively haggard!!

[Countingthegreyhairs]

as you can tell from my typing - not enough sleep last night either!!!

er, that should read,

is it?

and

beginning to ....

[phdlifeneedsanewlife]

Counting my ds is only 9m so I don't have much experience, but what I found is that if I put my brain to work during those times when I'm physically busy - eg, cooking, showering, trying to fall asleep, watching ds (when he's not being too exciting!) - then it's much easier to write when I do get time (about once a month!) because it's already "there" IYSWIM. Getting the headspace when you sit down takes much less time! - does that make sense? perhaps you could do that with your projects??

[Miaou]

I've found I have to adapt what I do to suit my circumstances (I've got four, including two under three). I used to design cross-stitch but there's no way I can manage this at the moment! So I have gone back to knitting, which I can pick up and throw down fairly easily and doesn't need a particular "area" or set-up. I'm almost getting to the point where I dare get the sewing machine out again and am really looking forward to it! It is soo tempting to burn the candle at both ends but I find that in the medium term I really suffer for this as I get ill very easily if I get run down.

I do agree about not hitting the spot counting, but it's really a case of needs must, and only for a short time. I would go positively insane if I couldn't do something creative each day.

[Miaou]

Oh yes headspace that reminds me! I use nightfeeds to think about my project - that way I will stay awake to feed and not fall asleep halfway through , or walking to playgroup with the dses, or washing up after a meal - it's a case of utilising every bit of time you can really

[Countingthegreyhairs]

those are v. useful pointers - thanks phd and Miaou - I know it's about accepting 'that's how things are now' and going with the flow and making the most of any spare moments to think and plan.

I musn't complain - it's a nice problem to have really - I just need to put more effort in to organising things in my house and in my head!! (Latter more challenging!!)

[JossStick]

Is there anywhere you can set up just for you so you don't have to keep putting your artwork away?

Even if you don't have a spare room do you have a corner somewhere to put a table with drawers in (and a bit of red & white striped tape around it).

You can keep all your stuff out and in one place then - and escape there whenever you can.

Or a small tilting table in the corner of your bedroom?

It's sooo bloody hard when little ones are around.

[Countingthegreyhairs]

"police tape" -that's a great idea JossStick!!!

I imagine that working in the same place also helps you get back in "the zone" once it becomes habitual iyswim.

Inspired to get clearing and sorting now ...thxs.

[JossStick]

Make it sacrosanct!

[oneplusone]

phd, that's what i find i do, i 'think' about what i want to write when i'm doing the washing up, kids are in the bath etc etc as it's the only time i get when the kids aren't after a piece of me. I do find it very frustrating not having enough 'me' time and i have, this year, put DS in a day nursery about which i feel HUGELY guilty for one day a week (9.30 til 3) whilst DD is at school so I now have one day a week to myself. Like you said the alternative was a physical/mental/nervous/emotional breakdown on my part and i think the day nursery is preferable to that!

[oneplusone]

sorry it was shitemum who mentioned having a nervous breakdown! not phd!

But it is a bit that the ultimate 'creation' ie our DC's wasn't 'enough' for us. Perhaps because they were created with our bodies and not our minds IYKWIM?

[Countingthegreyhairs]

Will do JossStick!

Oneplusone :without sounding poncey, if you are creative, then I think it IS really important to try and make it a priority.

I recently read a newspaper article about the scientific study of personal happiness and well-being.

Time and time again "engaging leisure activities" ie ones that are totalling absorbing and take your mind away from everyday difficulties, are listed in the top eight contributory factors to personal wellbeing, right up there among sufficient money, sleep and friends.

Right, just have to make it happen ....somehow .....

[oneplusone]

Thanks Countingthegrey (me too!), helps ease the guilt. I have certainly felt a whole lot better during the week knowing that on Friday (the day DS is in nursery) i will have from 9.30 til 3 to do my own thing. I love it!

[JossStick]

I'm not going to do a 'think like a man' speech as i find that sort of thing highly insulting to both sexes. But we have been conditioned in some ways both to multitask (like this is always a good thing) and to keep on top of everything.

There's only so much of you to go around. Do get up to see to DCs but do not get up and take clothes out of tumbledryer if in the middle of a painting or whatever activity.

My DH sat me down while i was trying to do all this at the same time and said did i think he would come running from his computer programming / 'stuff' he does in the shed to change the washing over.

Did that make sense?

[Rosylily]

I have similar problems and I'm constantly artistically frustrated. I was trying to keep it all surpressed for a few years but everynow and then I just have to be expressive and I start working in the kitchen and the house gets even worse and the children join in and it's a big mess!

[Countingthegreyhairs]

Yes Josstick - that makes total sense - that's exactly it!!! Conditioned behavioured accompanied by conditioned guilt!!

Rosylily - you should be congratulated for just getting stuck in and DOING IT - sounds great!!

I have boxes of unused materials all around the house just waiting for that moment ...

[JossStick]

CTGH - i do guilt very well indeed!

I must confess to struggling to do art / creative stuff myself when DCs around doing their art. Whether it's becasue i'm too easily distracted or if it's becasue i'm paranoid they'll get stuff on my paintings i'm not sure.

I'm full of admiration at sitting on benches sketching together - might try that one.

[JossStick]

Also agree with the 'this is how it is' argument. I have an image in my head of waftily painting with no distractions for days on end. It's not going to happen!