Hello
I'm writing to you in a real state of desperation. I am having an amnio next Monday and have been very traumatised by the thought of this procedure. The psy that I have been seeing has been helping accompany me with my feelings of being terrified of the anticipated pain and being violently angry towards any doctors I am coming in contact with.
She has helped me see that these feelings are coming from two issues (actually she thinks its 3 but I'm highly skeptical of the third)
- I had an exceptionally difficult birth with my first which ended in an emergency caesarean which I felt the scalpel cutting my stomach at the beginning of the process. This was surrounded on both sides by trauma: 12 hours of contractions without rest (enduced birth)because the 9 epidurals I went through were all administered in the wrong place and my ds having to be resussitated and thus I did not see him except in a photograph for 9 hours after the birth. I was left in the caesarean recovery room on my own all day because no beds were available.
2)With DS number 2, I had to have an amnio following a 1/46 blood test. Probably because of the previous trauma, I experienced this as extremely painful and the procedure ended with my husband and the midwife holding me physically down while the doctor shouted at me that if I moved the baby might be damaged or die.
- The psy thinks there is a further distress linked to the fact that I was born by caesarean (not sure this one resonates with me at all)
I am now suffering extreme mental distress with the thought of this amnio for DS 3. I CANNOT HAVE ANY PAIN FOR THIS NEXT PROCEDURE. If I do I am scared that I may attack the doctor or completely lose my mind.
Today my psy tried to work on concentrating oon comforting the baby rather than thinking aabout myself and it completely changed my relationship with her which has been positive up to now.Now I'm angry at her too. I just felt it was yet another medical person who was trying to put a plaster on an amputation.
OK so I'm aware I am not in a normal mental state at all. So here's the help I need - does anyone know any method of amniocentesis which GUARANTEES no pain. Can I have a general anaesthetic and if so at what risk to the baby? Anybody know any other more natural methods of complete pain relief - I can't even go through a local anaesthetic with a needle in case it HURTS!!!
Thanks for any suggestions.