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support thread for women who have chosen to terminate II

(1001 Posts)
brightonbaby Tue 09-Jun-09 19:05:49

Erm, trying to create a new thread for us, ladies. Not sure if I've succeeded...

growingup Tue 09-Jun-09 19:10:16

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brightonbaby Tue 09-Jun-09 19:12:13

Phew...mops brow...

Cantdothisagain Tue 09-Jun-09 19:31:06

Hello, checking in! Thanks, Brightonbaby.

growingup Tue 09-Jun-09 19:39:13

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bezzyk Tue 09-Jun-09 19:43:22

growingup, that is outrageous!

Makes you wonder who else they've neglected to give results to....

growingup Tue 09-Jun-09 19:45:33

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brightonbaby Tue 09-Jun-09 19:46:41

Growingup...that is horrendous! I'm going to ask to look at my notes next time I see the doctor.

busierbee Tue 09-Jun-09 20:02:14

Almost like they must be joking surely?
For Gawd's sake Growing Up. Have you had the symptoms? Yet you have two gorgeous boys and another on the way so ... maybe Bupa doctor a total dimwit.
By way can we say goodbye to old thread please ladies? Feel very attached to it and feel it needs a goodbye ceremony. We need a picture Growing.
Has saved my life somewhat.

becaroo Tue 09-Jun-09 20:13:20

Just popping back to bookmark the new thread....ds1 just got his next belt at karate - I am a proud mummy! smile

growingup I would love to say I am surprised by your GPs uselessness...but after the treatment ds1 and I got before and after he was born NOTHING surprises me anymore. sad You must be so angry and upset. Have you thought of writing a letter of complaint to the practice manager?

Ds2 is on the move! Have ordered the stairgates today! He loves to "walk" around with us holding his hands....he is only 8 months! GULP. Ds1 had so many developmental delays its like doing it all again for the first time smile On the plus side, Ds1's literacy seems to improving - slowly - and he has been referred for speech therapy so fingers crossed it helps him.

For those of you experincing the first period since your termination I send my love and will get better my darlings.... but it takes time. Thinking of you all xx

growingup Tue 09-Jun-09 20:24:44

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Cantdothisagain Tue 09-Jun-09 20:38:05

GU, how absolutely horrendous that they failed to tell you this. And yet I am not entirely surprised.

Struggling tonight. Have made ragu sauce to do lasagne tomorrow, and eaten my M and S dinner, and I feel bereft. Milk still abundant. I could set up an ice cream shop.

linspins Tue 09-Jun-09 20:50:22

Well, fine, all move thread and don't tell me! I don't need you all anyway!!!

Only joking!! grin grin grin

Wow. so much going on.

Firstly WAHAY!!! for JJF's news. [champagne emoticon] That is absolutely great. I was checking the thread so often hoping it was good news, but worried it wasn't when we didn't hear. I'm not surprised you cried with relief.
I send you the very best wishes for plain-sailing in the rest of the pregnancy. xxxxxxx

Next, Growing up, I'm so mad on your behalf. I just can't believe you were never told. It's incredible. Go wild at someone. And hope you get ALL the advice and support you need now you know.

Big hello to Can'tdo and Brighton, hope you are both taking it easy-ish still and being truly looked after.

Can'tdo, it took about 4 or 5 days I think for the milk to settle down aftr having Amy, but my boobs were tender for a while after that. However, as it was my first pregnancy, I had never breastfed, or had full-term milk development, so i don't know whether it would take longer for you. It must be so difficult to have such a physical reminder.

Bee, hope your day got a tiny bit better? I think your body maybe needed to rest itself for a while, let's hope cycles get themselves regular from now on. (Btw, I recommend ovulation kits from Access diagnostics...)

I had a manic day at work and I am so so tired. The sickness isn't too bad yet just a few waves here and there, but my god, yesterday I was so tired in the evening I could hardly eat or talk. My Dh made me banana custard comfort food.
Will have to slow down on the manic Mumsnetting a bit I think, to veg on sofa or have early nights.

But I will be here reading, and thinking of you all. And prob won't be able to keep away anyway!! grin

Got an appt on thurs to talk through Daisy's post mortem and discuss what to do in next pregnancy. Better phone then up tomorrow and warn that next pregnancy questions have a little urgency now! But will basically be: when is the earliest we can have our nuchal scan and it still be useful? and what are our chances, honestly, or having problems again? big sigh.

Can'tdo, really sad about your Grandma. Are you able to visit her, does she still hear/recognise you? Sorry if you have mentioned this before. Hope you get a chance to say goodbye. sad xxxx

Er... whoever bought expensive towels and soap...Go girl! You only live once.

Brain has gone mushy about what else I need to write.
So big hugs to you all then.

Lins xxx
(and a tearful wave at old thread, goodbye my friend)

linspins Tue 09-Jun-09 20:53:24

Can'tdo, have an early night? Sleep is good at letting time pass, and it is such early days for you, no wonder you are feeling bereft. Poor love. Or a warm bath and a bit or reading? Lose yourself in a book.

Going to make a cup of tea, and possible go to bed too! zzzzzz

bezzyk Tue 09-Jun-09 20:58:01

Lins! Good to hear from you. Glad sickness not too bad. I'm guilty party regarding towels wink

Please let us know what your consultant tells you regarding treatment with this pregnancy. I'm curious to know what I can (roughly) expect, should DH ever permit us to try again.

Take good care of yourself, and see you around here soon xx

marj1 Tue 09-Jun-09 22:33:12

Bee - I'm still here honey. Been reading but haven't really had the energy to post. Saw GP last week, I'm back on "happy" pills and she's referring me to Mental Health Team for counselling. I think I feel a bit calmer, probably the tablets kicking in.

JJF - Fantastic news, really please for you all, try and relax a little and enjoy your pregnancy.

Can'tdo - Been reading your posts and so sorry about your loss. I was thinking of you last Friday, I know exactly what you've been through. I had a termination on 23 March. I did take the tablets to stop milk production and didn't have any milk come in. Hope you are taking it easy and a day at a time. As Bezzy has said, this thread had been a godsend, I wouldn't have gotten through the first 2 months without this thread and the support of Bee, lins, Bezzy, Growing up and Tree.

Growingup - That is absolutely outrageous about the PCOS - I think I would be fit to kill angry

Lins - Glad things going well for you, even if you are tired.

BrightonB - Was down in Brighton on Sunday at a friend's 40th birthday lunch at Donatello's in the Lanes - absolutely lovely.

If I've missed anyone, sorry and hello.

I'm not very good with words, and often don't know what to say/type but I am reading and still getting comfort from you all.

Much love Marj1xxx

busierbee Wed 10-Jun-09 08:10:15

Uurray for you Marjie for looking after yourself and getting Happy Pills sorted out. There is no shame in depression - it is as majorly affecting and upsetting as Growing Up's PCOS. Glad you reading still.

Can'tdo- poor poor girl; Wish could sit by your bedside and agree with you that life can be shit and stroke your hair and make banana custard for you (great Idea hubby of Lins) and have a cry with you.
It will gently pass but you probably do not even want it to in some ways - since it takes you further from her. Sorry maybe you do not feel this way. Working today and all week so will not be here in daytime.
Nurse Bezzy will look after you.

growingup Wed 10-Jun-09 09:22:24

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bezzyk Wed 10-Jun-09 09:44:01

Nurse Bezzy checking in for duty.

Glad you're still here Marj. I know what you mean about reading and not posting. When I feel down I do the same, so you're certainly not alone there.

Hope everyone as well as can be.

Have the dreaded swimming lesson at 11. DD always screams for the entire 30 mins. I hate it. Wish it was later in the day so I could have a stiff drink afterwards.

BK x

linspins Wed 10-Jun-09 09:54:12

Marj, glad you are still here and hope you take some comfort form all the posts. We are all still thinking of you. Hope you get all the help you need and the happy pills get you through a rough patch.
Take care hon.

Eulalia Wed 10-Jun-09 10:39:04

Hey, shiny new thread smile

Cantdo - its still early days yet, I will (((((stretch)))) my hands a very long way from Scotland towards you. I am 43 (I think it was you who asked, sorry) but realise now how lucky I am after encountering this thread to have had my 3 kids so easily.... and baby 4 probably 'wasn't meant to be' (sorry BB!!!grin) but he was more than likely a result of my very ancient eggs, and I truly think you are brave ladies, apologies BB again... to fight so hard to make a family.

Marj - so good to hear from you, thanks for posting, and just reading is fine, we just like to know you are there from time to time. Keep well.

Growing up-argggh! and sad

Just a general quick wave to everyone else, I have to go and sort out ds2 on the loo. xxx

ilovemydogandmrobama Wed 10-Jun-09 12:57:24

GrowingUp -- wow! but doesn't it all make sense now? How irritating that your GP didn't tell you, and have no idea why, but did you have a Eureka! moment where everything became clear?

Read somewhere that if you have PCOs, you can get laser treatment on the NHS. At least you rant at your GP and say at the very least, he could redeem himself as far as a referral for this. Obviously you can't it whilst pregnant or breastfeeding, but it very good for facial hair.

Well done on getting pregnant though with PCOs. smile I have heard that it's very difficult.

growingup Wed 10-Jun-09 13:09:23

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bezzyk Wed 10-Jun-09 13:48:39

major breakthrough in the swimming department a whole 30 mins without any screaming! woo woo!

linspins Wed 10-Jun-09 16:40:40

Hi all, I have to come on here and tell you that I am a bit upset and I think only you would understand.
My parents-in-law are visiting, and DH has day off today too. I saw then yesterday, with Dd, but didn't spill the beans about being pregnant, because wanted Dh to do it as they are his parents and I didn't want to spoil his surprise.
But then, I had to virtually push him in to saying it today, and he just said in a monotone voice "Linspins is pregnant".
Not, "oh, we have some good news to share,..." or "oo, something nice to tell you...".
And of course their reaction was (more monotone voices and slight worried pulled faces) "oh gosh, have you seen the doc yet?" etc. To be fair his Mum did give me a big hug, but from his dad it was mostly depressing comments until I must have looked so dismayed he finally said Congratulations.
Now, I know that people will realise we are nervous this time round, but I am cross with Dh for the gloomy way he announced it and I am upset for us all that we can be all happy and excited.
Having lost 2 babies takes away all the joy of being preg again. But I want a bit of joy.
Actually didn't realise how upset I was until I wrote this and now I am crying. Thought I was just a a bit peeved.

Hey ho.

Just had to get that off my chest. Thanks. Lins xx

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