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Multi fetal reduction

(7 Posts)
Aaradhya123 Sun 20-Oct-19 21:25:58

Hi ladies
I need your help. I need to go through fetal reduction procedure. I am carrying twins. I already have a 4 year kid. I can't afford 3 kids together financially , physically and mentally too. I need some information, from mother's who already gone through it.
- what is the overall cost of the medical procedure.
- how is the other saved kid is doing after birth.
- what care did you take to carry smooth pregnancy after procedure.
Thanks

Malyshek Thu 21-Nov-19 06:26:28

Hello,

I'm not qualified to answer your main question as I never had this procedure, but I think you really should think long and hard about this before you go through with it.

I am staunchly pro-choice and you need to do what is right for you and your family, but this is an especially hard decision to make. How do you pick which twin to keep ? How do you tell the remaining twin about this ?

If finances are the only reason why you are considering this, there may be ways to solve the issue ? Maybe there are social aids for people in your situation ?

I also believe there is a small risk of miscarriage of the second twin if you go through with it.

At this point my advice would be :

- speak to your doctors to be sure you understand what the procedure entails, and whether you're ok with it

- have a look at social benefits available to you, 3 kids may give you access to some help

- speak to friends/family to see what support you may have from them. If a family member was going through this I'd definitely want to help.

- maybe ask for counselling before/after making the decision.

It's a really hard situation to be in and I wish you the best.

Malyshek Thu 21-Nov-19 06:27:56

Sorry I just saw you specified physical and mental reasons as well. My advice regarding family/friends support still stands.

Alternatively, would you consider adoption for one of the twins ?

Pepperama Thu 21-Nov-19 06:37:25

I know a ‘surviving‘ twin, he’s grown up now. He’s finding it incredibly hard to know it could have been him - his mental health is very poor

In your position I’d consider either having both or neither, I think

Hugtheduggee Thu 21-Nov-19 20:16:40

Do you get to choose which baby lives and which dies? Is it whichever one the doctor comes across first, or the smallest. Do they roll a dice? It's not like you're carrying 8 and want to give some a chance. Reduction when it's just twins seems really heartless to me and I think it would be incredibly difficult for the survivor.

Hugtheduggee Thu 21-Nov-19 22:22:37

There's a thread on mumsnet at the moment about telling a child that she was a twin, and the other baby died. A lot of people are saying that where this happened, they subconsciously knew that someone was missing, even before they were told. There is no reason to think it would be any different here.

Lew2016 Sat 28-Dec-19 21:06:40

@Aaradhya123 how are you? What did you chose to do? I’m in a similar situation right now :-/

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