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Pregnant again after 2 consecutive TFMRs

(64 Posts)
BeccaAnnJones Wed 19-Sep-18 19:22:07

Hi there

I’m not sure if anyone’s been through this but wanted to reach out just in case.

In November 2017, at 21 weeks gestation, I had an induced termination due to spina bifida on the back of the skull, preventing the brain from forming normally. Our beautiful baby girl came into the world on Nov 9.

Two months later, I fell pregnant again. Then at 21 weeks again we had our second induced termination as our little boy had a severely enlarged kidney and severely enlarged ventricles on the brain. We had a post mortem which confirmed this but also confirmed that our baby had a small chin and a slightly curved palette but no cleft palette. The post mortem confirmed that they didn’t see it as being chromosomal.

Although our consultant said it wasn’t necessary, we requested genetic testing. However, after one period I have since fallen pregnant again and I’m now 11 weeks pregnant. So genetic testing might not be possible.

My 12 week scan is next week and I’m absolutely terrified.

I keep having outbursts of uncontrollable tears and anxiety

This pregnancy wasn’t planned and DH basically did the deed without realising eventhough I told him not to. I’m so scared that I’ve fallen pregnant so quickly after a tfmr again.

I’m so scared that history will repeat itself for a third time. All I want is a healthy baby. I don’t have any living children and it’s what I want more than anything else in the world.

Has anyone else had consecutive tfmrs and have gone on to have a healthy baby?

Thanks

Bec x

GillN1976 Sun 23-Sep-18 01:56:57

Hi Bec, so sorry to hear what you’ve been through. I haven’t had 2 TFMR’s but I had one due to my baby having patau syndrome. I fell pregnant a few months later and at a 14 week scan was told my baby had no heartbeat so had to go through the procedure of giving birth again. They did a post mortem but found no reason for it but I suppose there must have been something. I have since had another baby who is now 3 and whilst the pregnancy was very stressful it was so worth it to get my daughter at the end. Wishing you lots of luck that all goes well for you this time around. Good luck for your 12 week scan next week. There’s no point in telling you not to worry as you will, especially after everything you’ve been through, but really hope all goes well for you this time.

BeccaAnnJones Sun 23-Sep-18 07:38:46

@GillN1976 thank you so so much for sharing your experiences and I’m so unbelievably sorry for what you’ve been through ❤️

I’m trying to take each day as it comes but I didn’t realise how difficult it would be.

I wasn’t that worried during my last pregnancy as everyone kept saying the first was total bad luck and the chances of going through something similar again were next to nothing.

This time around, hope’s gone to be honest so just going step by step.

Thank you so much again, I really really appreciate it ❤️ Xxxxx

GillN1976 Sun 23-Sep-18 16:01:16

The only thing you can do is take each day as it comes like you say. Once you’ve had your 12 week scan hopefully you’ll even feel a bit better and then once you’ve had your 20 week scan hopefully you’ll feel a bit more reassured after that. It’s such a shame not to be able to enjoy your pregnancy, but I think after these things happen it’s very hard. Hope you’ve got some good support around you. xx

saltedcaramelhotchoc Sun 23-Sep-18 21:47:59

I am so sorry to hear that you've been through this twice.

I had two consecutive terminations for conditions incompatible with life, apparently totally unrelated. Despite this I was terrified when I got pregnant again. I had very frequent scans and lots of support and the baby was absolutely fine.

I have two healthy children now. Please feel free to PM me- I really do know how you feel - it's overwhelmingly likely that all is well this time but I understand the terror.

Big hugs, and my only advice is to take things one day at a time and try not to overthink it all.. which I know isn't easy....

BeccaAnnJones Mon 24-Sep-18 09:58:39

@gilln1976 thank you so much :-)

@saltedcaramelhotchoc your words mean so much and I'm so sorry about what you've been through too. I will be in touch smile

It is a frightening time, I'm just praying that something positive will come out of this pregnancy. It's so lovely to hear that you've gone on to have two healthy children, it really really is
Bec xxx

Fatas Wed 03-Oct-18 17:28:16

@BeccaAnnJones

Really hope your 12 week scan went well.

BeccaAnnJones Wed 03-Oct-18 18:30:46

Hi @fatas it went well thanks.

Baby was bouncing about a lot. We saw the same consultant as the one from the last two pregnancies. We have a 15 week scan booked in for Oct 18. It took some convincing but they agreed to extra scans thankfully ❤️ Xxxx

Fatas Wed 03-Oct-18 18:54:21

Excellent news! Sounds like you definitely need some better luck. No doubt it will be an anxious time for you- I can’t believe you had to ‘convince’ them to give you extra scans- surely that should just happen?! The NHS seriously pisses me off sometimes!

BeccaAnnJones Wed 03-Oct-18 20:31:04

I know @fatas it’s been difficult with them. We wanted extra scans for our last pregnancy but they said there was no need as our first termination was just ‘serious bad luck and wouldn’t happen again’. There are such mixed experiences! Some hospitals are great I’ve been told, but unfortunately, I’ve not had the same experience at mine. We’ll see how this goes though! Thanks so much for your kind words 😊 xxx

Eatmycheese Wed 03-Oct-18 22:30:54

So pleased for you @becca ♥️

BeccaAnnJones Thu 04-Oct-18 04:17:52

Hi guys,

I’m freaking out a bit. Woke up and heavy bleeding down my leg and then I passed a blood clot the size of half my hand. I stoped bleeding after passing the clot but am freaking out. Called the emergency on call and they’ve booked me in for a scan in the early pregnancy gynae unit. I’m freaking out. Has anyone been through something similar? X

BeccaAnnJones Thu 04-Oct-18 04:19:07

The scan isn’t until 11.30am today, the earliest I could get which doesn’t help at all 😢 the longest wait x

SmellMyBeads Thu 04-Oct-18 04:26:46

Thinking of you @Becca. What an awful lot you've been through. I've everything crossed for a beautiful healthy baby for you.

They say you can bleed anytime and if you fill a pad and dont stop bleeding it could be something to worry about. Your situation sounds different flowersflowersflowers

triwarrior Thu 04-Oct-18 04:28:15

I’m thinking of you, OP. What a terrible time of it you’ve had. I had a TFMR (also kidney issues) which followed an ectopic pregnancy and 2 early MC - but I also have three wonderful, vibrant children, too. I wish the same for you. My pregnancies were terribly anxious times, so I have some idea of what you’re going through. I’ll be praying for you and your little one.

PatchworkElmer Thu 04-Oct-18 04:29:41

You must be so scared. I haven’t experienced heavy bleeding, but my friend had a couple of very heavy episodes and went on to have a healthy baby. Thinking of you.

BeccaAnnJones Thu 04-Oct-18 04:31:38

Thank you so much all, you really help when I’m freaking out. Will update you after the scan ❤️ Xxxxxx

rubyroot Thu 04-Oct-18 11:07:49

@BeccaAnnJones really sorry to hear you are going through this. Hoping for the best possible outcome, got my fingers crossed for you. x

Eatmycheese Thu 04-Oct-18 12:25:55

Oh @becca I’m so sorry this has happened. I hope your scan reveals there’s nothing to worry about.

I had awful bleeding at 7 weeks with my eldest son. Then on and off from about 23 weeks. It turned out ok.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you 🤞🏻💐

BeccaAnnJones Thu 04-Oct-18 15:05:18

Hi guys

Thanks so much for your messages.

We had the scan and all is ok with our baby, from what they can see. No bleeding within the sack and they think I may have had a clot within my womb which just broke away.

So so frightening.

I’d love a straightforward pregnancy.

Thanks again for all your supportive words, they mean the absolute world ❤️
Xxxxx

triwarrior Thu 04-Oct-18 15:34:48

I’m so happy for you!

Fatas Thu 04-Oct-18 15:40:44

Wow, that’s amazing. So pleased for you. That must have been so scary, here’s hoping for no more scares. It’s hard enough! Xx

Eatmycheese Thu 04-Oct-18 16:57:01

What a relief. Really happy for you x

BeccaAnnJones Thu 04-Oct-18 17:38:28

Thanks so much ❤️

BeccaAnnJones Thu 01-Nov-18 17:03:55

Hi all,

Not sure if anyone has been through something like this.

Today we had our 17 week scan and from what can be seen, baby seems normal.

However, driving home from the hospital we had the results of genetic testing carried out on myself and husband following the issues with our two previous babies/ pregnancies.

We are both carriers of abnormal genes which cause Walker-Warburg syndrome- which is what Gwawr and Dewi have, it appears.

There’s a 1/4 chance that we will pass on our bad genes to our babies. Which the geneticist says is the highest outcome of genetic testing i.e we have the worst case scenario.

Issues with previous pregnancies were picked up in our 20 week scan so we want to continue with our scans instead of amniocentesis.

We’re so deflated and so scared having had these results. Has anyone had healthy babies following a 1 in 4 genetic risk like this? Sorry, there seems to be something wrong constantly with my pregnancies, it’s devastating and exhausting ❤️ Xxxxx

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