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Abnormality at 36 weeks

(16 Posts)
ZydecoLaydee Sat 13-Jan-18 19:19:53

I’m not really sure why i’m posting, i’m currently trying to process the events of the last week and I guess i’m wondering if my feelings are normal and if there is a better way to deal with them.

I went for a routine 36 week growth scan last week (normal in my area), and the sonographer noticed an abnormality. It is serious, I was asked whether I wanted to continue with the pregnancy. I have seen 5 consultants in the last week, and the prognosis is better than originally thought, but they are unable to tell us the extent of our baby’s disabilities.

I think i’m in shock, I thought all was well and I was excited to bring our new baby home. I now have to give birth at a specialist hospital, and I don’t know how long i’ll be staying. I feel guilty and keep wondering if it was something I did. I worry for my child’s future, I know there will be some pain, and it breaks my heart.

This abnormality wasn’t visible at 20 weeks, so I have so little time to get my head around it. I want to be the best mother and advocate for my child, so need to come to terms with this ASAP.

I do feel a little better having written it down. I have a wonderful DH, family and friends who I know will be there no matter what. I just need to sort myself out!

yawning801 Sat 13-Jan-18 19:21:27

Hand holding for you OP.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sat 13-Jan-18 19:23:24

flowers So sorry to hear that OP. Rooting for you and your baby.

KatnissMellark Sat 13-Jan-18 19:23:58

Do you feel able to share what the abnormality is OP as we may be able to direct you to some support flowers

ZydecoLaydee Sat 13-Jan-18 19:32:03

It’s a brain malformation. Not chromosomal, or caused by infection, ‘just one of those things’.

Frazzled2207 Sat 13-Jan-18 19:49:53

I'm so sorry that you've had this news. That must be very tough. Will you get any more info before birth?

fastfrank Sat 13-Jan-18 20:04:36

thanks this must be an awful lot to take in. Stay strong

Shadow1986 Sat 13-Jan-18 20:08:27

So sorry to hear this OP. I hope for the best possible outcome for you all. flowers you sound like you’re going to be a great mum too.

Glitterandunicorns Sat 13-Jan-18 20:08:57

This must be such a shock to you, OP. I hope you're able to access some support to help you come to terms with things and prepare as best as you can. thanks

iamloading Sat 13-Jan-18 20:14:37

Hello, I'm so sorry to hear this. 3 months ago I was going through the same thing - my little girl had ventriculomegaly and another brain issue. If there is anything I can do to help or you would like to talk just let me know. It's the worst thing in the world to experience and my heart goes out to you. X

lucy101101 Sat 13-Jan-18 20:18:37

I am so, so sorry that you are going through this. I had the same experience a few years ago. It was a terrible time and as iamloading above says, the worst thing in the world to experience. I am sure you will make the best decision for both you, your baby and your family. I found the charity ARC were just amazing. My heart goes out to you too.

ZydecoLaydee Sat 13-Jan-18 20:29:15

Thank you all for your kind words! We won’t know any more until the baby is born. We know surgery will be required in the first weeks of life.

I’m just trying to readjust my hopes and dreams for this baby. Every child is a gift, and this child is very loved already. I’m going to be strong for my baby!

iamloading Sat 13-Jan-18 20:31:44

If it is a shunt being fitted then have a google of a lady called turtlemom. She's in America but the story of her daughter is truly amazing x

flumpybear Sat 13-Jan-18 20:40:57

Hand hold OP. - I really hope your baby is one of those cases where they think there's an issue but it turns out to be of little it no significance star

Butterpuff Sat 13-Jan-18 20:41:52

I'm sorry your going through this. Our baby has a heart defect we found our quite early so had time to prepare. She had major surgery at 2 weeks having been born in a specialist Hospital and going strait to intensive care. If you have any questions about that time that I may be able to answer please pm me. I wish you all well.

sirlee66 Sat 13-Jan-18 20:49:20

Darling, I'm sorry you've had such a shock. The way I look at it... You could have a baby with a disability or abnormality and he/she could be the most wonderful person in the world (of course they will be, they'll have you as a mummy!!)

Another lady could have a very 'normal' 'healthy' baby and turn out to be a murderer or Hitler!

(So sorry I know that sounds dramatic!)

What I'm trying to say is, babies who are seemingly normal could grow up to be some of the world's most awful people but doctors weren't fussing around them saying do you want to continue with the pregnancy!

Im not sure I've made a lot of sense or explained it properly but hope that's somewhat helped!!!

Lots of love to you!

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