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Invasive tests. How do you come to terms with being the 1 in 100 who miscarries?

(17 Posts)
Keeley71 Tue 21-Mar-17 14:45:10

Five years ago now but still struggle sad

Usual story. Age 41 so had a high risk 12 week scan. 1/80. The m/c rate for CVS quoted at the hospital was actually 1/200, so I took the risk. I was told if I were to miscarry it would be within a week, if not 48 hours. I actually m/c 12 days later but a few people ( one nurse included ) still said they couldn't rule out the cvs at the cause.
Not sure what good this thread will do but just wanted to know if anyone's had a similar experience?

AliBingo Wed 22-Mar-17 04:53:27

I'm so sorry to hear about the MC. I had a TFMR a few years back. Have had several CVS and the consultant told me each time that the critical window was 2 days, so I really don't think your MC was caused by the procedure.

We all get dealt a certain hand and deal with it by making the best choices we can from the options we have so I suppose if I had been that 1/100 I would have tried very hard to not blame myself but I realise it must be devastating.

I hope you are doing ok x

AliBingo Wed 22-Mar-17 04:54:17

Just realised it happened 5 years ago; did you have any more pregnancies?

whitequeen31 Wed 22-Mar-17 07:18:01

I am having a Cvs test this week at St. George's .I have been given a 1/90 chance, however, I just need to know and feel that this test will give me the answer I need, this is my second pregnancy MC at 11 weeks last time which mean I have not enjoyed one moment of this pregnancy so far in fear of losing this baby.
The way I feel is it is 2017 and I am having the procedure at an amazing hospital, I feel calm and happy with my choice because I know it will mean I can enjoy my pregnancy if the outcome is positive.

I am 36 and 13 weeks so far.

Keeley71 Wed 22-Mar-17 08:04:52

AliBingo thank you for your reply. Yes, I was told the first 48 hours were the most critical, & certainly if everything was ok after a week the procedure was considered a success ( for want of a better word ) but what confused me was when few people said my m/c could have been caused by the cvs, even 12 days later? I'm not sure how that's possible but it's what I was told.
And sadly no, I didn't go on to have any further children, which obviously compounds my guilt & grief.

whitequeen31

You will be absolutely fine. Trust me I've looked everywhere on the internet to try & find someone who has miscarried after a CVS, & I've yet to find one.
All the very best.

AliBingo Wed 22-Mar-17 09:35:28

I haven't ever read anything like that. The nurse sounds wrong to me. I would think it much more likely that there was another cause, chance if CVS causing a MC that much later is slim to none I believe whereas other issues could easily occur at that stage. Aren't there quite a few things which only show up at 20 week scan not before?

Please don't beat yourself up about having the CVS, you made the best choice you could and there's no reason to suggest that this was a factor in losing your baby

I'm so sorry about your loss and that you haven't gone on to have any DC, that must make it a lot harder to handle your grief. Do you have any older DC?

Keeley71 Wed 22-Mar-17 10:05:56

I have a 10 year old dd. Maybe if I'd had more children it wouldn't have been so hard, I never wanted dd to be an only child.
But I'm lucky to have her I know.

AliBingo Wed 22-Mar-17 10:21:49

I'm glad to hear you have your DD but that doesn't help with the yearning and what might have been a does it? But please don't blame yourself x

Keeley71 Wed 22-Mar-17 10:23:33

No it doesn't, in someways it makes it worse.

But thank you so much for your replies, very kind of you. xx

Gingerbreadmam Wed 22-Mar-17 10:35:11

keeley i often wonder if my sons death was a result of the amnio. I don't know and never will so try not to think about it much but he had a condition not linked to death. I had the amnio at around 21 weeks. He was stillborn at 27.

There was no cause for his death. I will probably always wonder. I thought i would refuse future invasive testing but just lost another to pataus. If it was still alive i dont know whether i would have had testing or not.

Keeley71 Thu 23-Mar-17 07:20:14

So sorry to hear about your son Gingerbreadmam flowers but six weeks later is extremely unlikely to be anything to do with the Amnio, but I completely understand the 'what if' thinking, I'll have it forever.

Gingerbreadmam Thu 23-Mar-17 07:28:01

he'd actually been passed a couple of weeks when discovered and im sure the amnio information leaflet quoted 6 weeks. as i say i'll never know but i do sometimes wonder.

Gingerbreadmam Thu 23-Mar-17 07:29:44

i guess its a little different in my situation as he did have something wrong with him and altho at the time we wanted to continue with the pregnancy looking back what happened was probably for the best.

once again im very sorry for your loss. did all your tests come back ok?

knaffedoff Thu 23-Mar-17 07:44:27

I declined an amnio due to the risks, we could have managed the pregnancy and beyond as I was was an older mother, with a history of miscarriage. The pressures placed on me was astounding and as I declined the tests to one professional, another would come in to change my mind and it went on for about a week. It was very shocking and so I really understand why these tests are so frequently taken up, without the risks not fully understood

Keeley71 Thu 23-Mar-17 07:44:42

Yes. He didn't have Down's syndrome or any of the other conditions they tested for.
I know the leaflet I was given in hospital said if you were to miscarry it would be within a week, I'm 100% certain of that. But it still hasn't stopped me wondering & blaming myself.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

UnbornMortificado Thu 23-Mar-17 07:47:44

I'm sorry everyone who's been through this.

After 2 preterm deaths (not amnio related) I'm see a consultant about a cervical stitch this morning. 1/100 change off miscarriage and I'm bloody terrified. I've seen every hour in last night with some messed up dreams.

Gingerbreadmam Thu 23-Mar-17 08:38:57

i have to be honest i wasnt asked about the amnio was told i needed it. there didnt seem like much choice.

keeley i think the best thing to do is take yourself back to that moment and r3mind yourself of the feelings you had that lead to the cvs. it is highly unlikely these tests caused either.of our losses but i appreciate it helps to have an answer.

good luck with your cervical stitch. those are great odds and if it stops any further heartbreak will be completely worth it. i know they quote the statistics but as far as i lnow the real statistics are based on the person completing the process and their statistics are usually even better. try not to worry and best of luck for the rest of your pregnancy.

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