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Previous tfmr & now pregnant again and scared - anyone else been in the same position?

(1 Post)
sukieinthegraveyard Wed 18-Jan-17 19:41:29

Hello, I have just found out I am pregnant. I have a 5 year old already & would absolutely love for her to have a sibling. Me and my husband met later on in life and our daughter came along when I was 40; we now realise how very lucky we were to have an easy pregnancy and birth with no difficulties or worries regarding the health of our unborn child.
I always wanted a 2nd child, so we tried again and at the age of 42 I became pregnant again, only to miscarry at 8 weeks which was devastating.
Then, the following year aged 43 I became pregnant once more and everything appeared to be fine, including the nuchal scan at 12 weeks, until my risk of having a baby with Down Syndrome came back as 1 -23 following the blood test and I went for an amnio. I stayed positive throughout thinking that we had 22 chances of having a healthy baby still. Unfortunately the result came back as positive for Down Syndrome and after much soul searching my husband and I decided not to continue the pregnancy. It was the most heart wrenching decision I have ever had to make.
Anyway, that was 18 months ago now and although we have been using no contraception (I was holding out for another try; my husband was reluctant though as did not want either of us to go through any more pain & disappointment) I had got my head around the fact our daughter was to be an only child.
However, yesterday I took a pregnancy test as was late and lo & behold - positive result - and I am bricking it....
Cannot allow myself to get excited as terrified at prospect of miscarriage and another trisomy abnormality; we would do exactly the same again as however awful it was and guilt ridden we felt we feel sure it was right for our family. We did not want our daughter to have the legacy of not only 2 old bids for parents with dementia or the like to care for but a sibling also. My daughter would be overjoyed to have a sibling to play with & help look after.
I am 45 now and will be just turned 46 when baby due. Has anyone been in similar situation? Or an older older Mum where everything has turned out fine?
Any experiences shared gratefully received! Am feeling a bit all over the place at the moment.

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