Tfmr

(5 Posts)
Coi123 Sat 29-Oct-16 12:20:41

Hello everyone, this is the first time I have posted on this so I hope I'm doing it right. I have chosen to terminate my pregnancy at 16 weeks for medical reasons (trisomy 21 and heart problems) and I am totally and utterly devestated. It wasn't a planned baby as I'm getting married at Christmas but once we had gotten over the shock we were ecstatic. We always wanted children and were going to try after the wedding. I go in tomorrow to take the tablet to start the process then I wait to days and I have to go in to give birth. I'm so scared. Could anyone tell me is it painful and does it feel like labour?

MollyRedskirts Sat 29-Oct-16 12:28:02

I'm so so sorry. I had a tfmr at 13 weeks, for exactly the same reasons.

Yes, it will be a little bit like a labour and you'll feel cramps. I was given codeine to manage the pain and it was enough. I didn't have any kind of pushing urges, it just happened. I was actually on the toilet at the time (special pan in place to block it), which is where I felt the most comfortable. I didn't see anything and I chose not to. I was given the option afterwards to see my baby and have handprints or photos taken, and I didn't realise I would be asked this, so I said no.

Coi123 Sat 29-Oct-16 13:17:14

Thankyou so much for the reply MollyRedSkirts. I too don't want to see or hold my baby, I think it's the only way I can cope. They have already asked me this and written it down in my notes. Can I ask (you don't need to reply if it is to intrusive) how long you waited to try again? I already miss being pregnant even though I still am if that makes sense!

MollyRedskirts Sat 29-Oct-16 13:54:57

I don't mind you asking at all, you can ask me anything you want to.

We waited about five-six months. I got pregnant again very quickly. It was the month after what would have been my due date, that I found out I was pregnant again. I remember feeling very desperately like I needed to be pregnant again, but DH wanted to wait a while, so we did. It sounds mad to be now that five-six months was 'a while', because it isn't, but every day that I wasn't pregnant or trying to be felt like forever. There's no right or wrong time to wait, it's what feels right for both of you.

AliBingo Sat 29-Oct-16 15:56:04

Hi just checking in on your new thread, I was in that other thread too. Feel free to ask anything at all x

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