Nc for this. Basically, I fell pg with DC1 by accident, very happy as it wasn't long before we were thinking about trying anyway. Had a hideous pg and was very ill so I'm not ready to do it again for another few years (for other reasons too).
We use a mix of condoms, diaphragms and withdrawal (very early, as in we normally move on to 'other things' well before DH is ready) as I'm not suitable for any hormonal contraception.
I fell pg last year by accident, as it turns out I'm most fertile in the first few days after my period, which was a complete surprise as I just believed I would be fertile during the normal windows everyone talks about. Had a termination, which we are all fine with - not an easy decision, obviously, but definitely right for us.
Last week we were having sex and I didn't put the diaphragm in as it as all a bit sudden, when DH withdrew very last minute, everything just took him by surprise (to be tmi, as I'm under a random username, he was trying to be nice to me and carry on with what I was enjoying ). He really didn't think he had pulled out too late - but it was two/three days after my period had ended. We debated getting the morning after pill but I stupidly, stupidly didn't think I needed to.
Cut to a week later and things are smelling strange to me (one of the things that I noticed particular when I was pg last year) and I feel as though I have mild period cramps
I'm probably completely overreacting. I'm probably so paranoid now that I'm imagining these symptoms. But what if I'm not? Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks. I'm not ready to have another baby. But what scares me so much as that I get ill from 4, 5w pg and even when I had a termination last year I had about a fortnight of being sick before it was done. We have holidays and weddings and a busy time at work all through July, it will be so hard to hide it and pretend to be feeling ok.
This clearly all makes me stupid, and probably quite horrible because I know what my decision will be if I am pg. I just can't go through another pg yet, I really can't, DC is only 2, I'm not ready.
I don't know quite why I'm writing this. I'm paranoid and scared and stressed and I can't take a pg test for another week or so. I think maybe I just want someone to talk to - I won't see DH for a while due to work, and I can't talk to my friends about this.
Sorry for the long pitying post (and sorry if this upsets or offends anyone).
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Antenatal tests
I want to cry... (termination related)
19 replies
LorenaCompton · 25/06/2014 16:20
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