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To ask how the frick I am pregnant?

(125 Posts)
Arachnophobic Mon 17-Feb-14 02:39:42

I had a copper coil fitted in 2012 after Ds2 was born. Has worked well for us until I smelled a rat this week and my worst fears were confirmed when I found out I was pregnant shock

I am so annoyed at having to go through this and an inevitable termination - I would have so loved three in an ideal world but DH and I know that the financial and emotional burden would be too overwhelming, so as far as that's concerned, the decision has been made.

Has anyone else experienced or been through this?

SpanielFace Mon 17-Feb-14 07:04:26

I conceived DS with a copper coil. Like you, I was utterly gobsmacked. We hadn't been certain if we wanted children, but it made the decision for us. They are not as reliable as Mirena, and I've now heard quite a few stories like this on here. sad So sorry, must be an awful situation to be in.

kytti - did you read a different op to the rest of us? Your comments are totally unhelpful.

Op - I hope you get the support you need today.

UptheChimney Mon 17-Feb-14 07:18:01

Harsh? Hm. About as harsh as saying (insert amusing emoticon) OMG I'm pregnant! How did that ever happen? Perhaps if your tone had been less flippant I could take your post seriously

Kytti, you sound like an insensitive clodhopper here. Maybe the OP sounds "flippant" because she is putting a brave face on a very difficult situation. She's trying to be upbeat about something she's taken steps specifically to avoid.

A termination is a legal medical procedure. So STFU with your judgements.

HadABadDay2014 Mon 17-Feb-14 07:27:52

Did you not read I pregnancy and another baby would be overwhelming

I would wait a few days to let it sink in, a termination is a very big decision.

HadABadDay2014 Mon 17-Feb-14 07:31:00

Is the coil still there. The only reason I ask is because I had one go missing and it was only when I went for a smear it was noticed.

Wetoopere Mon 17-Feb-14 07:34:06

I assumed the termination was inevitable due to the coil.

MammaTJ Mon 17-Feb-14 07:36:46

I supported a friend through the same situation, preg on coil, no way she could have any more children, so as soon as the positive test was done, decision to have a termination was made!

It sound easy and flippant , maybe! It wasn't though! She was thinking what was best for the DC she already had!

oliviaoctopus Mon 17-Feb-14 07:38:23

This has just happened and we are keeping the baby. Dh only has to look at me and I manage to get pregnant. This is our 5th and we are both 29, but 2 were miscarriages.

If you want 3 are you really sure you cant keep it?

WelshMaenad Mon 17-Feb-14 07:41:44

Fuck off Kytti.

I'm so sorry OP. If we fell pregnant again we would make the same decision, two is our limit for a lot of reasons however much I'd have liked more in an ideal world.

I hope it's not too awful.

SpottyTeacakes Mon 17-Feb-14 07:43:59

Wet it's not inevitable. I got pregnant with mirena in and ds is 1 now. It is more risky in the early days though.

RedFocus Mon 17-Feb-14 07:45:19

Hope your doctors appointment goes well op and you get everything sorted in a speedy manner. My husband has had the snip and he had no problems at all.
Terminations are emotionally awful but luckily you have the support of your husband and you will be fine. Good luck.

Charlie97 Mon 17-Feb-14 07:50:24

Oh what a total nightmare! As others have said, get checked ASAP!

After that, don't rush into any decision, give yourself a couple of days to make a decision.

Good luck and keep well x

Joysmum Mon 17-Feb-14 07:54:19

Sorry you have to put up with poster's who are professionally offended and put their feelings of annoyance at the wording above your own emotional rollercoaster.

I do have a friend who got pregnant with a copper coil, but a number more for whom condoms let them down.

FanFuckingTastic Mon 17-Feb-14 08:01:12

People have reasons why they can't have babies, using contraception and indicating she needs a termination does not mean she is flippant at all. Some people are at very high risk should they get pregnant, like myself, of becoming incredibly ill and unable to care even for themselves, never mind existing children. I think people need to back off with their opinions and feelings and either answer the OPs question or think about how she might be feeling, instead of making it about what they think.

differentnameforthis Mon 17-Feb-14 08:02:41

Kytti This is the op's reality, if you find it distasteful, kindly piss off.

differentnameforthis Mon 17-Feb-14 08:05:39

OP, I was in your position. Terminated when my dd was 6mths old.

I didn't want three, contraception failed us. It was the right move for us & now, several years later I have no regrets & feel relief daily that I did not go ahead.

JapaneseMargaret Mon 17-Feb-14 08:05:46

Look, women get pregnant. Adult women in relationships with men get pregnant, even when they take active steps to avoid conception. It happens.

Some women want to get pregnant and can't. Other women find themselves pregnant when the idea of same is horrendous. Being extremely upset in either of these scenarios is equally valid. It just is.

Unless you're the pope, you cannot expect human beings to abstain from sex so as not to run the risk of having to have an abortion.

The OP may, arguably, have been flippant in the wording of the OP, but anyone with an ounce of insight can see that this is a pretty awful situation for her, even if it might not be for (generic) you.

If you suspect that reading about someone not being happy about finding themselves pregnant might upset you (which is totally understandable and fine), then it's easy enough to avoid the thread.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Mon 17-Feb-14 08:08:26

Are you reading a different OP to me kytti?confused I just see panic and shock.


SarahAndFuck Mon 17-Feb-14 08:16:32

OP I'm sorry you've found yourself in this situation, I hope you will be okay.

Electryone Mon 17-Feb-14 08:17:23

What a nasty and judgemental post Kytii who clearly has some sort of issue and agenda here. No, money cant always be found, so ignorant to.

Annakin31 Mon 17-Feb-14 08:23:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

differentnameforthis Mon 17-Feb-14 08:25:01

The op has made it clear that she is going to have a termination for her own reasons, can we focus on helping her with that & not trying to change her mind, please? The op is aware that she could continue with this pregnancy, but factors in her life do not permit that.

It is not the op's fault that some women can't get pregnant & we can't stop people starting threads about unwanted pregnancies/terminations in case someone isn't able to conceive.

We also can't expect every woman who finds them self unexpectedly pregnant to continue with their pregnancy, because some women can't conceive.

I am truly sorry that there are women who find themselves childless for whatever reason, but I am damned if I will compromise my life & my children's lives & bring an unwanted child into this world just because I fell pregnant. Like a pp said, we are not going to be there in years to come to help with financial & emotional assistance so not one of us have a right to tell the op what to do.

scaevola Mon 17-Feb-14 08:30:21

There is a topic Antenatal Tests and Choices where you might find posters more willing to share experiences than AIBU (though of course both topic are open to everyone and anyone in the world).

In AIBU, people might say YABU, and this has happened here. And of course the thread is now as much about that as whether the OP has needs. Because not everyone agrees with termination, and in AIBU it is OK to say that.

OP: if you want a supportive thread, get this out of AIBU.

WeAreDetective Mon 17-Feb-14 08:32:30

Ooh, this is always going to be a very sensitive subject full of emotion. That's one of the reasons we have mumsnet, to offer support.

Op, I hope you have not been put off seeking support.

kytti, I think you need to steer clear of threads where you cannot provide kindness and understanding. Perhaps look to a place on MN where you could get the support you clearly need?

sarahquilt Mon 17-Feb-14 08:32:36

I think you're being very sensible getting a termination for financial reasons. Don't listen to those judgemental people!

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