I took so much information companionship and support from this site during what can only be described as a traumatic time that i promised myself i would post my own story when i felt able.
After three miscarriages this pregnancy was already a bit tense. this was not helped by constant bleeds that made me rush to the hospital sure it was all over again. So getting to the 12 week scan was my milestone. Even though i have one child (4yrs) i foolishly kind of forgot to be nervous even though i am at the slightly older end of the mum scale, i was just so pleased to have made it. So it came as a total body blow to hear 'we have a big problem'. The sonographer told as the nuchal was very high (Not as high as some people have to hear about i now understand) and implied we were pretty much screwed. 'Prepare for the worse' is the phrase that sticks in my mind. Total shock. I walked out like a zombie. In a few days time to got to speak to a specialist and they were pretty negative too. It seemed inevitable this baby was going to have serious chromosone issues or a heart defect.
Due to public holidays and staff shortages there then followed a nearly two week wait of turmoil for the CVS. I agonised about having it due to the miscarriage risk (what if i caused the loss of a healthy child by having one?) but as we were given a risk of 1:5 for Downs i felt we just had to know what was coming.
The procedure was stressful mostly because of my worry, not because it was painful. It was done at UCLH and they were brilliant. They let me decide on the day whether to go ahead and gave me plenty of time without judgment either way. I found out from ARC and on this site (who were amazingly helpful) that the miscarriage risk is linked to the practitioner and how good they are, so i checked that out, but being London they'd done masses of these tests, which helped in my mind.
Waiting for the results (a week rather than the usual 3 days because of weekends and more holidays!) was without doubt one of the darkest and strangest times of my life. I felt myself and my partner pulling in very different directions on how we would proceed if the baby did have downs. We didn't have the 'bringing us closer together' experience that some seem to. it was confusing.
The results came back and they were clear. I was elated. But anyone whose been through this knows there is a long way to go after that. Next there was the wait for the 16 weeks heart scan which we were told was also a serious risk. That took place for 20 minutes in total silence which nearly made me scream! But it was OK too. Then there was the wait for the 20 week scan where they checked all kinds of things - that was ok too. Now i am nearly at 24 weeks and keeping all fingers and toes crossed for a smoother ride for the rest of this much wanted pregnancy.
For all of you going through this now, know it can be OK whatever you hear and however dire it seems. For all those who did not or do not have as much luck, my heart really goes out to you.
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high nuchal 4.8 1 in 5 risk - our story
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weliveinhope · 06/06/2013 10:09
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