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Should we find out gender? Family want a boy .

(5 Posts)
Rolsaint Sat 20-Apr-13 08:31:08

We have our 20 week scan next week and can't decide whether to find out gender. Initially I didn't mind finding out or not either way and DH was keen to find out, the more we talked about our baby the more excited i got about finding out and up until a few weeks ago we both couldn't wait until our 20 week scan to find out, if it is possible see gender.

However, one side of our family have been very excited and supportive whether its a boy or girl, the other side have unfortunately been very disinterested in the pregnancy other than expressing repeatedly that it had better be a boy.

I feel sad about this as we really don't mind either way yet their feelings have made me start thinking that I hope it's a girl as then we will know that if they do chose to play a part in our baby's life it will be because they love it for it, not for the gender stereotype. It also makes me angry that our baby is not even born yet they are already talking negatively about it.

So now we can't decide whether to find out now or wait, I feel so guilty for feeling like I want it to be a girl as other than this family issue I really don't mind and just want a healthy baby. DH knows this is upsetting me and has been so supportive saying we could not find out or find out but not tell anyone but I don't know if I could keep up the pretence of not knowing?

What do you think, should we do as we intended and find out now even though it feels a bit less exciting or should we wait and possibly prolong the anxiety of not knowing how family will respond? DH intense to visit them next weekend to speak to them about this whatever we decide to do so it hopefully ends the negativity but we have a few days until scan and just can't decide!! Your thoughts please?? Xx

marriednotdead Sat 20-Apr-13 08:43:54

Do whatever will make YOU happy. They are at best being insensitive, and at worst, giving you stress and anxiety for nothing but selfish reasons.

I hope your DH has the courage to put a rocket up their selfish arses grrr.

Wishing you the eventual safe arrival of a beautiful ds OR dd smile

embolina Sat 20-Apr-13 11:03:50

Yes I agree with*marriednotdead*. This should be the most exciting time ever- you shouldn't have to worry about what other people want!

I think you should find out anyway and at least your DH's family can either get used to the idea if it's a girl, or join in with some excitement if it's a boy.

I'm having a boy and my mum has always wanted a granddaughter, but she couldn't be more thrilled for myself and my husband :-) x

Christelle2207 Sat 20-Apr-13 17:47:38

agree with others, you should do what YOU and DH want to do.
Very disappointing that one side of the family seem only interested in boys. If you find out then either they will be pleased or at least you will have time for your DH to knock some sense into them if not!
Best of luck with it and keep us posted!

Lyftiduft Sun 21-Apr-13 21:38:56

do what you and DH want. But please remember first and foremost it is an ANOMALY scan i.e. to look for abnormalities. I hope your baby is healthy and arrives safely whichever sex it is.

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