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23 weeks and having to choose termination if you can call it choice!!

(51 Posts)
zen1980 Fri 19-Apr-13 16:28:23

I'm 23 weeks pregnant and at my 20wrrk scan (done at 21 weeks) they said the baby had dilated kidneys however, did happen occasionally and that it was nothing to worry about. To be safe they arranged a scan with a renal consultant today. Today we could not have got given more worse news (to us). The baby has dysplastic kidney disease which it has in both kidneys, one kidney is huge an not functioning which you can live with just one kidney. However, the consultant was pretty sure cysts where forming in the other kidney and the fluid around the baby was Reducing. This would make the baby at full term incompatible with life.
They now have to decide whether the hospital will stop her heart as they are often bound to see if she will survive once born. If we carried on with the pregnancy here is a less than 10% chance she would survive an we would watch her pass away.
We have a 3 year old who is excited beyond belief about her sister an what do I say? Before her we had a mmc an that was bad enough but this? I feel my baby kicking as I type an can not think of what is going to get me through this. My Dh is so supportive but I don't think I can go on the pain is too much knowing our plans and hope have just been Squashed again.
I lost my mum quite soon after my daughter was born an that was hard enough but this....
Can anyone help??

GaryBuseysTeeth Fri 26-Apr-13 11:09:21

Sorry, misunderstood where you wrote about spending time with him before the funeral.
Hope last night was peaceful, and your daughter is helping you through.


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