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Termination just because we don't want another child

(33 Posts)
VikingVagine Wed 26-Sep-12 08:33:32

I recently found out I'm pregnant. I already have two children, DH and I had come to the descision that we don't want any more.

I had the Mirena coil removed in the spring after two years of awful thrush. I wanted DH to get the snip but he thought it was too drastic. I didn't want to take any form of hormonal contraception, so we were using condoms and "being careful".

Obviously we weren't careful enough. DH initially said no way, but because I wasn't sure about what I wanted to do, he agreed to support my descision whatever it was.

I have been going round in circles. Part of me would love another baby, and at one point I had decided to keep it. Then, a few nights ago it started raining heavily and a damp spot appeared on the ceiling above our bed, reminding me we still have an awful lot of (expensive) work to do on the house.

It just clicked, I can't have another child now. It wouldn't be fair on anybody.

I phoned the family planning center this morning to find out what I had to do (I'm in France by the way). The lady told me to go to my GP to get a prescription for a scan so they can date the pregnancy, before going to a clinic for the actual termination.

I just need to find the courage to face my GP and tell him I want a termination despite there being no medical reason, or even any good reason other than being selfish. He's going to judge me. The person who does the scan is going to judge me. Their people at the clinic are going to judge me. I'm judging myself.

I'm trying to be strong here, but it's not working.

InfinityWelcomesCarefulDrivers Fri 28-Sep-12 09:28:12

How are you doing today Viking? Have you got any friends you can talk to. I can't imagine how hard this must be.

plasticbox Fri 28-Sep-12 10:04:14

I have literally just done this, read my thread if you feel brave enough (termination so confused) Im a week on and know it was the best thing I could have done for me and mine. I had to wait until I was 9wks in the end, they cannot be sure of where the cells implant until 5/6 wks at the earliest. Its awful at the time, the waiting. It almost did me in but I found strength from people on here and now even though its only been a week its past and I am dealing with it.

Once you are certain of your decision just focus on after, dont dwell and please feel free to message me if i can offer you a hand to hold.

Much love

InfinityWelcomesCarefulDrivers Fri 28-Sep-12 10:06:19

plastic, sorry you have been through this too.
They really need to develop something like the morning after pill for this time then! Surely it can't be that hard.

InfinityWelcomesCarefulDrivers Fri 28-Sep-12 10:07:48

Sorry that sounded flippant, I am not being. If a woman has decided she wants an abortion then surely it is best all round to do it as soon as possible. I may get flamed for this, but surely when you've already had children and been through an early wanted pregnancy it must be even harder.

plasticbox Fri 28-Sep-12 10:13:05

You have to be so far along to ensure its all removed, surgically wise it needs to be in the womb to remove. If it implants in the tubes obviously its a different issue. If its eptopic it can be sorted with medication if caught early enough which can prevent tube removal this is why it has to be seen on a scan before any procedure, Its cruel, hard and bloody frustrating but the safer option

claraschu Fri 28-Sep-12 10:17:28

Don't feel you are selfish to terminate. I think having children in this terribly overpopulated world is self indulgent. We have three, and I feel guilty about all the pollution I have caused, and how we have increased the population of an overcrowded world.

VikingVagine Fri 28-Sep-12 17:43:04

Have had a very busy day at work, so didn't have time to think about it at all which was good. Now am home and relaxing, it's back at the front on my mind again, gah.

The dr did say something about having to wait to be sure of the location, but she wasn't very clear and didn't offer any other advice, just handed me a piece of paper to read before my next visit.

To take my mind of it and give me something nice to focus on/look forward to, we've booked a few days at Disneyland during half term.

Trills Fri 28-Sep-12 18:21:55

Well that's not terribly caring behaviour but the doctor clearly wasn't judging you, she treated it like a very routine thing, which I suppose is good.

Booking a holiday is nice. smile

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