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termination at 12 weeks for multiple issues - any experiences

(10 Posts)
legoboat Thu 20-Sep-12 19:29:30

Hello. Had 12wk scan today and unfortunately, all not well with baby. Lots of issues, but consultant thinks incompatible with life and measuring 3 weeks small. They are phoning me tomorrow to try and get me in for a surgical termination on Monday. I just wondered if anyone else had any experience of this and what it will be like. Apparently it will be under a general.
Surprisingly, I'm OK with this so far - I know these things happen and I have a healthy 3 year old and I count my blessings for that I suppose. I really think I would be feeling differently if it was my first pregnancy. I suppose it may hit me at some point.
I just wondered if anyone had any experiences that they were able to share as I would find that useful. Thanks.

HardlyEverHoovers Thu 20-Sep-12 19:48:56

I'm really sorry to hear your news and glad you are coping well. Have no medical understanding of this at all, but just make sure you are not rushed into anything, before you have absolutely ALL the info you need to decide. You don't want to find yourself saying what if, a few weeks later. Also if you have any spiritual or religious beleifs make sure you think about it all from that angle as well.
I went for scan at 12 weeks and baby had died at 8. I decided to wait for natural miscarriage, but it wasn't happening, so eventually I had the surgical procedure to remove. I asked for, and got, another scan before the surgery, for my own peace of mind. Not sure how similar that surgery would be to the one you are having but mine was fine, not traumatic at all.
I wish you all the best.

legoboat Thu 20-Sep-12 19:57:29

Thank you for replying, that's very useful, thanks. Was it under general? I'm most concerned about not being able to have the surgical (the cut off is apparently 12 weeks, which I'm over but apparently because it's measuring so small, I should hopefully still be allowed this). I'm not feeling rushed, I want to rush to be honest because although I'm not an expert at all (but saw my DS's 12 week scan obviously) even I could tell when they first put the scanner on that the baby was not at all normal. Its head is very, very large, its legs, feet and body are not developed properly. The consultant thinks T18 but won't be able to confirm this until after the termination.

HardlyEverHoovers Thu 20-Sep-12 20:11:34

Yes it was under general. I was a bit nervous but it was fine, I opened my eyes and thought I was about to go and have the surgery, but it was all over!
A nurse gave me a tip to make sure I was thinking happy thoughts when I went under, then you wake up feeling OK.

legoboat Thu 20-Sep-12 20:19:52

thank you - very useful. I've not had a general before so that will be an experience. I just hope they let me have a surgical.

duchesse Thu 20-Sep-12 20:20:44

I am sorry about this diagnosis and although I don't have exactly the same experience as you I did have an ERPC at 13+5 weeks on a baby that had died at 12+4. It was thought that surgical was the best option for us for a number of reasons. Apparently at 12+ weeks they are large enough for a "natural" miscarriage to be both extremely painful and fairly dangerous in terms of blood loss. I was glad to have the option to be honest. It was fine and I felt better immediately (I had felt extremely ropy throughout that pregnancy possibly due to the suspected issues with the foetus). Recovery was fine, although I was anaemic for a while afterwards due to having bled for the three months of pregnancy.

legoboat Thu 20-Sep-12 20:23:30

Thanks Duchesse - again, really useful experiences. Did you go on to have a healthy pregnancy afterwards? To be honest, it's not something I'm actively already thinking about but it may come up in the future I suppose.

duchesse Fri 21-Sep-12 09:03:48

Yes, three years later I had miraculously DD3 (quite a long wait for her in the end). Hope all goes well- it's a pretty safe operation on the whole. <unmnetty hugs>

legoboat Fri 21-Sep-12 16:34:31

Thanks - have been back in today and they've taken blood for checking and I'm booked in for first thing Monday morning. I'm still really calm about it, maybe it will hit me later but I just currently think that I'm lucky that they found it so early and in time for a surgical termination, there's no debate on "will it survive anyway?", we already have a child so know it's potentially possible in future if we want. It didn't take us ages to get pregnant (1st go), I've not had to have any of the hanging around seeing if things get better and weeks of agony, then the awful decision later on after a visible bump. Obviously it's not a nice thing to have happened but that's why they have the 12 week scans - I'd have rather it not be me, but wouldn't wish it on anyone else either.
They've taken blood to check for infection as apparently this could be a cause or it is most likely T18. I've asked them to do whatever they can to find out why - test the tissue etc, as it would be good to get a "reason".

manitz Fri 21-Sep-12 21:18:33

hi legoboat. you sound remarkably calm. i have had two terminations at varying gestations. if it hits you later and you find you need some support there is a great thread on here called something like support for women following a termination. There is also a sister thread to support through subsequent pregnancies.

I'm afraid mine weren't surgical so I can't really offer any advice on this. It seems you have no choice. take care x

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